Bit of advice r.e incident at work

Oldernotwiser

juliescot wrote: »

Why the confusion?

juliescot

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Why the confusion?

I wasn't aware that this "group of youngsters" were a knife carrying bunch.

You could easily have suggested that they shot you, if we are going down that route

Oldernotwiser

juliescot wrote: »

I wasn't aware that this "group of youngsters" were a knife carrying bunch.

You could easily have suggested that they shot you, if we are going down that route

I was trying to make something of a joke but quite a large number of young people do carry knives. Very few carry guns.

Magnolia

I have to agree with ONW on this one - you just never know who has the knife and who doesn't :rolleyes:

Meeting aggression with aggression may not be the wisest move to make.

Its my experience that explaining the situation more fully to the youngsters as to the error in their ways in a polite and seemly manner gets much better responses from them.

They may know they are blocking the pavement but not the consequences of what could happen if they didn't clear out of the way.

andygb

I simply cannot believe that anyone could "rudeness" in the words "You are blocking the footpath".
The young lads looked at us as we approached, and made no effort to get out of the way, despite there being no other way to get past them. The young lad's response to my original words was obviously a challenge to us, and to be perfectly honest with you, life is too short to put up with that kind of rubbish.
If children want to be cheeky to their parents, and they get away with it for whatever reason, then I could not care less. When they start trying it on with complete strangers then that is another matter.
I will ignore your comments about "Autism", because they are beneath contempt. People who try to excuse bad behaviour with any number of reasons about Autism, ODD, ADD are hurting the cause of unfortunate youngsters who really suffer from these disorders.

andygb

hothothot wrote: »

Interesting about the autistic link but maybe very young children would be excused in someway for not being aware of their surroundings and social ettiquette, but this biker gang knew he was approaching and then tried to carp him into a confrontation, I have been in similar situations and whilst it would be nice to be able to say "Good Afternoon fellow citizen, please kindly step aside, you blockade my travel route", the truth is that these feral kids you correctly call them are being ignored at home and looking for entertainment and reactions from adults who they realise are vulnerable targets for ridicule, I think he adapted his communication style to suit the audience, swearing is probably the only language that theyd understand...

These are my feelings exactly, the children in question are starting to feel their feet, challenge authority, see how much they can get away with, whilst their parents sit in the house watching television. The incident happened at around 7.00 in the evening, and the shops were closed (This is where they were blocking the footpath).

juliescot

andygb wrote: »

These are my feelings exactly, the children in question are starting to feel their feet, challenge authority, see how much they can get away with, whilst their parents sit in the house watching television. The incident happened at around 7.00 in the evening, and the shops were closed (This is where they were blocking the footpath).

Out of interest how do you know what their parents were doing?

juliescot

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I was trying to make something of a joke but quite a large number of young people do carry knives. Very few carry guns.

Apologies for missing the humour - my error.

Savvy_Sue

andygb wrote: »

I simply cannot believe that anyone could "rudeness" in the words "You are blocking the footpath".

I see no rudeness in the words themselves, but the manner in which you delivered them - you said it was 'tersely'. "Excuse me, you are blocking the footpath" or "Please could you move, you are blocking the footpath" would not be rude.

andygb wrote: »

The young lads looked at us as we approached, and made no effort to get out of the way, despite there being no other way to get past them. The young lad's response to my original words was obviously a challenge to us, and to be perfectly honest with you, life is too short to put up with that kind of rubbish.

So life's too short for you to be polite to younger people. Fine.

andygb wrote: »

If children want to be cheeky to their parents, and they get away with it for whatever reason, then I could not care less. When they start trying it on with complete strangers then that is another matter.

And it's OK for you, a complete stranger, to swear at them when they are cheeky. Again, fine.

andygb wrote: »

I will ignore your comments about "Autism", because they are beneath contempt. People who try to excuse bad behaviour with any number of reasons about Autism, ODD, ADD are hurting the cause of unfortunate youngsters who really suffer from these disorders.

I know several people who really suffer from these disorders, and I have also seen my own and other people's children go through a mildy autistic stage in their teens. I would not have known how to describe it had I not read about it a few times in the New Scientist.

As an example, I have one autistic friend who used to stand extremely close to people, even though he had been told it made people feel uncomfortable when he loomed over them. He once said to me "Am I making you feel uncomfortable standing so close?" and I said "Yes, you are." "Would you like me to move then?" "Yes please, I would." And he did.

So if his bike had been in your way, telling him that he was blocking the footpath would simply have been a piece of information. His response might have been "Yes, I know."

I'm not saying they were at that stage of development, I'm not saying their behaviour was acceptable, I'm not excusing it, but bottom line is I personally cannot think of ANY circumstances under which it is acceptable to swear AT another adult or child, or group of adults or children, and as you are the alleged adult in this situation it would be nice to think that you could set an example of the old-fashioned manners you claim to have learned.

In the same way - and getting back on track - I can't think of any circumstances in which it is acceptable to shout at a colleague in front of others, especially children. And very few where it's acceptable to shout at all in the workplace, but no-one's perfect.

andygb

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I see no rudeness in the words themselves, but the manner in which you delivered them - you said it was 'tersely'. "Excuse me, you are blocking the footpath" or "Please could you move, you are blocking the footpath" would not be rude.

So life's too short for you to be polite to younger people. Fine.

And it's OK for you, a complete stranger, to swear at them when they are cheeky. Again, fine.

I know several people who really suffer from these disorders, and I have also seen my own and other people's children go through a mildy autistic stage in their teens. I would not have known how to describe it had I not read about it a few times in the New Scientist.

As an example, I have one autistic friend who used to stand extremely close to people, even though he had been told it made people feel uncomfortable when he loomed over them. He once said to me "Am I making you feel uncomfortable standing so close?" and I said "Yes, you are." "Would you like me to move then?" "Yes please, I would." And he did.

So if his bike had been in your way, telling him that he was blocking the footpath would simply have been a piece of information. His response might have been "Yes, I know."

I'm not saying they were at that stage of development, I'm not saying their behaviour was acceptable, I'm not excusing it, but bottom line is I personally cannot think of ANY circumstances under which it is acceptable to swear AT another adult or child, or group of adults or children, and as you are the alleged adult in this situation it would be nice to think that you could set an example of the old-fashioned manners you claim to have learned.

In the same way - and getting back on track - I can't think of any circumstances in which it is acceptable to shout at a colleague in front of others, especially children. And very few where it's acceptable to shout at all in the workplace, but no-one's perfect.

That is the biggest load of old codswallop that I have heard in my life.
One last point, I would always be polite to people who exhibit good manners in the first place. If the children had not been insolent, and they had moved aside, then I would have said "Thank you".