Bit of advice r.e incident at work

juliescot

andygb wrote: »

Your very first highlighted piece of text shows how pedantic and pathetic your attempt to justify yourself is.

I am not trying to justify myself to anyone, no idea why you think I am?

I think your way of dealing with the youngsters was wrong, you don't.
You want to justify your rationale for doing what you did and if that makes you feel better then fine.

Savvy_Sue

andygb wrote: »

Oh dear, another person who has not read the complete post.

Excuse me? I DID read the full post, forgive me for not giving a running commentary on all of it.

andygb wrote: »

I said to them "you are blocking the footpath".
I said it in a terse manner, because they looked at us approaching, knowing full well what they were doing, and did not intend to move.

So you spoke to them abruptly and IMO rudely. But that's OK, because they 'knew' they were in your way. Fine example you gave them: how are children supposed to learn manners if none are shown to them?

andygb wrote: »

When I told them "you are blocking the footpath", the one stroppy lad then asked me to say "excuse me".
So, for being an ignorant little smartie pants, he got a nasty look, and an equally short answer in Anglo Saxon, which then achieved the desired effect.

Oh bravo. Big man, swearing at children. And in front of a lady too - you did say you were with your missus?

andygb wrote: »

For those people who wish to defend this behaviour by small children, let me say this.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Let us hope that me swearing at him at this age, is better than someone else deciding that he needs to be taught a much harsher lesson later in life.

I am by no means defending their behaviour, but I find yours equally indefensible. You swearing at him has taught him that it's quite acceptable for adults to swear at him, so when he's a bit older he'll know it's OK to swear at others too.

Not that any of this helps the OP, except in a general way: if we treat everyone with courtesy we increase the chances of being treated with courtesy ourselves. It doesn't always happen, and people sometimes overreact to perceived discourtesy.

Savvy_Sue

Actually, something worth remembering is that the developing brain does tend to go through a slightly autistic stage. I'm not using this to excuse anti-social behaviour, it's just that perfectly reasonable and well brought up youngsters do get to a stage where they can't necessarily make the connections which adults do.

I see an obstruction in my path, I see that the person causing the obstruction has seen that I am obstructed, I expect the person to move, because this is what I would do in their position.

But not everyone can make that connection - I am in the way, I should move. And young people in particular may need to have it spelled out to them. Preferably politely.

I know andy will have written me of as some wishy washy liberal who's raised feral kids, but that's not actually the case. But I do have three lads who have all gone through those stages of being unable to make the connection! The youngest is still learning ...

hothothot_3

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Actually, something worth remembering is that the developing brain does tend to go through a slightly autistic stage. I'm not using this to excuse anti-social behaviour, it's just that perfectly reasonable and well brought up youngsters do get to a stage where they can't necessarily make the connections which adults do.

I see an obstruction in my path, I see that the person causing the obstruction has seen that I am obstructed, I expect the person to move, because this is what I would do in their position.

But not everyone can make that connection - I am in the way, I should move. And young people in particular may need to have it spelled out to them. Preferably politely.

I know andy will have written me of as some wishy washy liberal who's raised feral kids, but that's not actually the case. But I do have three lads who have all gone through those stages of being unable to make the connection! The youngest is still learning ...

Interesting about the autistic link but maybe very young children would be excused in someway for not being aware of their surroundings and social ettiquette, but this biker gang knew he was approaching and then tried to carp him into a confrontation, I have been in similar situations and whilst it would be nice to be able to say "Good Afternoon fellow citizen, please kindly step aside, you blockade my travel route", the truth is that these feral kids you correctly call them are being ignored at home and looking for entertainment and reactions from adults who they realise are vulnerable targets for ridicule, I think he adapted his communication style to suit the audience, swearing is probably the only language that theyd understand...

Savvy_Sue

hothothot wrote: »

Interesting about the autistic link but maybe very young children would be excused in someway for not being aware of their surroundings and social ettiquette, but this biker gang knew he was approaching and then tried to carp him into a confrontation, I have been in similar situations and whilst it would be nice to be able to say "Good Afternoon fellow citizen, please kindly step aside, you blockade my travel route", the truth is that these feral kids you correctly call them are being ignored at home and looking for entertainment and reactions from adults who they realise are vulnerable targets for ridicule, I think he adapted his communication style to suit the audience, swearing is probably the only language that theyd understand...

The age range he gave is about the time their brains start going through these changes, plus I never said they were feral - I said he might think I'd raised feral children, which I haven't.

These children knew what manners are, and they knew he hadn't shown very good ones. Again, IMO. But then, I've never considered swearing at people to be good manners. - perhaps that's just me too?

juliescot

hothothot wrote: »

Interesting about the autistic link but maybe very young children would be excused in someway for not being aware of their surroundings and social ettiquette, but this biker gang knew he was approaching and then tried to carp him into a confrontation, I have been in similar situations and whilst it would be nice to be able to say "Good Afternoon fellow citizen, please kindly step aside, you blockade my travel route", the truth is that these feral kids you correctly call them are being ignored at home and looking for entertainment and reactions from adults who they realise are vulnerable targets for ridicule, I think he adapted his communication style to suit the audience, swearing is probably the only language that theyd understand...

Somewhat OTT when they were originally described as "a group of youngsters"

Savvy_Sue

Yup, 10-12 year olds.

And actually, being spoken to like this

hothothot wrote: »

"Good Afternoon fellow citizen, please kindly step aside, you blockade my travel route",

might actually make them laugh and move!

Oldernotwiser

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Yup, 10-12 year olds.

And actually, being spoken to like this

might actually make them laugh and move!

Or knife you!

Savvy_Sue

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Or knife you!

Yes, there is always that possibility! However, I'm not convinced that swearing at people makes that scenario less likely. Ever.

juliescot

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Or knife you!