Bit of advice r.e incident at work

andygb

pinkshoes wrote: »

There was a member of staff with the group of children, so does that mean it comes down to which member of staff is more important than the other???

If a large group were approaching a door, I would politely give way to them, then walk through afterwards. If they let me through first, I would thank them.

Ironically in my local city centre, it's the "older" (over 50) generation that come across as the ones with no manners. The students and school kids are quite good when it comes to holding doors open in the shopping centre, whereas most "older" folk wouldn't dream to check if anyone else was about to walk through the door.

That is interesting because I am 51, and I would not dream of just letting a door go in someone's face, I always check. I have also found a completely opposite demographic to the one which you have mentioned, and it seemed to be worse with the teens or twenty somethings at the station in the morning, and going in and out of shops.
There are good and bad examples in every age group, but if the 20 -30 age group have a problem with attitude and manners, then they will be the ones passing on bad habits to the younger generation.

Savvy_Sue

andygb wrote: »

A few nights ago, my missus and I went for a walk around our village, and where the local shops are, there was a group of youngsters (half a dozen 10 12 year olds?) with bikes blocking the way. They showed no sign of moving to let us through, despite having noticed us. When one of them looked at me, I said tersely "you are blocking the footpath". One of the others then said "say excuse me then".
I am sorry to say that I swore at the lad, and they all moved rather quickly. You see, we do not have any children, so we do not regard them as "Mummy's little darlings". We are realistic, and if you do not teach children manners, discipline and respect in the school, then their behaviour outside will be unacceptable.

Sorry, but am I the only one to think that if you'd said "Could you move your bikes please, you are blocking the footpath", you wouldn't have needed to swear at them?

OK, I accept they could SEE they were blocking the footpath and shouldn't NEED to be asked, but I don't see how swearing at children helps them develop the right kind of respect. After all, if it's OK for an adult to swear at a group of children, why is it wrong for a group of children to swear at an adult?

juliescot

andygb wrote: »

That is interesting because I am 51, and I would not dream of just letting a door go in someone's face, I always check. I have also found a completely opposite demographic to the one which you have mentioned, and it seemed to be worse with the teens or twenty somethings at the station in the morning, and going in and out of shops.
There are good and bad examples in every age group, but if the 20 -30 age group have a problem with attitude and manners, then they will be the ones passing on bad habits to the younger generation.

I don't recall any suggestion that the door was let go in anyone's face.
I usually check but there have been times when I have been distracted and let the door go, not realising that there is someone who could have benefited from me holding it open

andygb

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Sorry, but am I the only one to think that if you'd said "Could you move your bikes please, you are blocking the footpath", you wouldn't have needed to swear at them?

OK, I accept they could SEE they were blocking the footpath and shouldn't NEED to be asked, but I don't see how swearing at children helps them develop the right kind of respect. After all, if it's OK for an adult to swear at a group of children, why is it wrong for a group of children to swear at an adult?

Oh dear, another person who has not read the complete post.
I said to them "you are blocking the footpath".
I said it in a terse manner, because they looked at us approaching, knowing full well what they were doing, and did not intend to move.
When I told them "you are blocking the footpath", the one stroppy lad then asked me to say "excuse me".
So, for being an ignorant little smartie pants, he got a nasty look, and an equally short answer in Anglo Saxon, which then achieved the desired effect.
For those people who wish to defend this behaviour by small children, let me say this.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Let us hope that me swearing at him at this age, is better than someone else deciding that he needs to be taught a much harsher lesson later in life.

andygb

juliescot wrote: »

I don't recall any suggestion that the door was let go in anyone's face.
I usually check but there have been times when I have been distracted and let the door go, not realising that there is someone who could have benefited from me holding it open

Do you bother to read anything fully before commenting on it?

juliescot

andygb wrote: »

Do you bother to read anything fully before commenting on it?

I reread the OP to see if there had been mention of the door being let go in someone face and as there wasnt it is to that which I referred.

Was it mentioned later perchance?

mum2one

pinkshoes wrote: »

They were over-excitable Y7 pupils in their first few weeks at big school, bustling down the corridoor, and the OP was chatting to one in the group. If the dinnerlady had any manners, she would have seen the OP was occupied, and given way graciously to the group of kids.

Manners are manners, but it works both ways. Youngsters should also be given respect.

I would ignore the incident, but if it EVER happens again, then in private let her know that she has no right to speak to you like that infront of the pupils, and you would appreciate it if she treated you with a little respect in future.

Totally agree, yes manners are manners, maybe the dinner lady felt she should of gone 1st as she was a dinnerlady - in the respect of that either something was cooking - she needed to attend to or she needed to be somewhere, but as if the OP said she was with a group of yr 7s, who in all honeslty have only just come out of primary school and to an extent are still finding their footings.

I'm disabled and on crutches and in an ideal world, I would love it if people opened the door for me, as it can be a struggle, but hey ho this is reality I even open the door for people.

I would mention it to your manager in conversation, not to the extenet that I'm putting in a complaint, but to this is an incident that happened this is how I handled it, I hope that was acceptable.

So you have mentioned it, it could be sour grapes as she did not get the job, but don't put yours at risk by giving her the satisfaction of being able to put a complaint in.
x

juliescot

andygb wrote: »

Oh dear, another person who has not read the complete post.
I said to them "you are blocking the footpath". So you didn't ask them to move you just pointed out the obvious
I said it in a terse manner, because they looked at us approaching, knowing full well what they were doing, and did not intend to move. Maybe they thought you were going to turn around, they may not be mind readers
When I told them "you are blocking the footpath", the one stroppy lad then asked me to say "excuse me". No harm in expecting manners from anyone
So, for being an ignorant little smartie pants, he got a nasty look, and an equally short answer in Anglo Saxon, which then achieved the desired effect.
For those people who wish to defend this behaviour by small children, let me say this. I do not defend them being inconsiderate in taking up the whole pavement.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Let us hope that me swearing at him at this age, is better than someone else deciding that he needs to be taught a much harsher lesson later in life.

He will now think it acceptable to swear at people to achieve a result - well done

hothothot_3

wxmlad wrote: »

Ignore her, she sounds like shes got a chip on her shoulder that shes only a dinner lady not a teacher

a dinner lady keeping chips on her shoulder! theres something really oddball about this one

where does she store the fish then?

report her to environmental health asap.

wont somebody please think of the children!?

andygb

juliescot wrote: »

He will now think it acceptable to swear at people to achieve a result - well done

Your very first highlighted piece of text shows how pedantic and pathetic your attempt to justify yourself is.