Do you like your family telling you what to get them for presents?

Abbafan1972

Well I've already had my Xmas pressie from DH, a PSP last weekend. I daresay I will get something small to open on the day, but I am not really that fussed.

I would be horrified if someone said to me that they've already bought their Xmas pressie and asked me for some money towards it. :eek: I would either say that I couldn't afford that much or I'd already bought for them .

I don't get involved in the in-laws presents, if DH wants to buy them something then I leave it to him and the same for my parents. Although if I had anything to do with it, the in-laws would get sweet fanny adams.

Usually when I asked my Mom what she wants for Xmas, she will put me on the spot and say "well what can you afford/how much do you want to spend?" I wouldn't want to offend her though by saying £10.

I am not on very good terms though with my parents at the moment, due to a big row earlier this year. I know they will buy the kids something, as my Mom has already mentioned about buying them clothes. I don't really want to buy them anything for various reasons, but would feel a bit guilty if they've spent on our kids. So I was thinking about getting them each a small gift and putting "to Nanny/Grandad" from the kids instead.

Last Xmas I told my Mom I wanted a handbag and showed her an example of the sort of thing I wanted. And the one I got was completely different and not what I was after at all, you could tell it was bought from a market stall or something, my Mom always raves "how good Erdington market is", (if you live in Brum you will know what I'm talking about). I used it a couple of times and it ended up at the charity shop.

I was gobsmacked Xmas 2007 though, when I opened a Diary from my Mom and it was for 2007 and not 2008 :eek: . Of no use to me whatsoever. I did tell her about it and she said she didn't realise.

luxor4t

elastigirl wrote: »

My husbands family have for the last few years have been telling us what they want (not would like) for birthdays and xmas ....
My in-laws are quite well off so i just find it a bit odd that they ask for things, .... Last year my mil bought her own bday present from us and just told us to give her the money she didn't even give it us to wrap. I was fumming.....my sister in-laws words it would look bad if we got your lot big expensive things and you bought us small cheap things ....

Goodness, OP, your in-laws make mine sound saintly

It's such a pity that I've got a bad memory - I never remember when somebody starts demanding anything . If the demand is put in an ill-mannered way, I seem to forget even faster!

I think I might have told your SiL to forget the whole present malarky if that was her worry, but I may well have been quite brusque about it

I do ask my parents what they would like, but apart from odd things like hacksaw blades my dad never knows & my mum usually changes her mind (not old age, she's been like it all her life)!

These days MiL gets what she's given: I buy nice bits through the year so DH can send her a Christmas box. As she is very impatient now she opens it straight away, then of course, she has nothing to open on Christmas morning!

laurel7172

In our family, we ask people what they want. If it's something consumable, then the request is vague-oh, a jumper or something foody, please. If it's something to keep, then we're very specific. A pair of wineglasses, size X, pattern Y, manufacturer Z, please. Book X by author Y, please. Partly it's because it seems pointless to waste money on getting somebody something that's headed for Oxfam on 2 January, but a lot of it is about respect for other people and their living space. None of us really needs any more stuff. If we want stuff, we know *exactly* what we want. Anything else is just spirit-sapping clutter.

We show we care for each other by making sure people get something they really like-and aren't weighed down by something they don't. I'm not saying it's a better way, but it's a valid way, and it suits us.

esmf73

Lets face it - as Laurel says unless someone has a specific request gifts at birthday and Christmas are just a nice to have - a surprise and IMHO should be kept that way!! I think it is awful that people expect certain things.

I haven't done it this year, but I will have the chat with all the adults in the family at Christmas - saying that I will give my Mum a list of what we (as a family) would like at Christmas. My OH is VERY hard to buy for - and as many of the family don't have young children it can help jog their memories!!

I would certainly NOT expect to get everything that is on that list and I will probably get some lovely surprises. That said, I will keep in mind budgets and be telling people to shop in charity shops first!!

I think that if there is something special that is wanted (as there was for my sons 3rd Christmas - a ride on tractor - 50 pounds) then ask people to donate some money to a pot so the item can be bought later. We ended up putting in 30 pounds as some family members didn't want to do this.

I look at presents as a nice surprise - besides what I want no one can give me - 26 hrs in the day, a son that goes to bed and STAYS THERE!!! Oh well xxx

Rummer

Only if I asked them.

Loopy_Lobes

I have had a laugh reading this thread. There are some extremely cheeky people out there :eek:

I do have to ask my other half for things but he's useless and needs exact instructions on what to get. I wouldn't dream of instructing anyone else unless they asked.

When it comes to the kids we buy for I usually ask for ideas from the parents for the small ones and the older ones get some money or a token. This is to avoid giving them something they already have. Most people who buy for my kids do the same thing which is very helpful.

The adults get nice tins of biccies, chocolates and maybe some smellies, i.e token practical stuff that will get used, I'm always happy to receive such things myself. Most adults we know have enough money so if they really want something they can get it themselves! Christmas is about the joy of giving, I love buying things and wrapping them up and giving them. I also love hunting for bargains so there's no way I'm going to be told what to get and fret over the cost.

What always amuses me is the two sets of my other halfs relatives who dutifully give each other £20 of M&S vouchers every year can't see why they bother, there's no surprise, little thought and not even any shiny paper to rip open!