Do you like your family telling you what to get them for presents?

Mme.Hibou

Buddingblonde wrote: »

(apart from my mother felt inclinded to get involved one year in a competition with my MIL and gave me and OH £200 for Xmas - I was soo upset and begged her not to buy into it).

Ooh she sounds delightful! As for your mum getting into competition with her, you should totally encourage it, ask her to write you a cheque for something ridiculous like £10,000 and up it every year (just don't bank it, obv) It's probably coming down to her lever or something silly, but would be a fab Christmas present just seeing the look on her face!

barnaby-bear

elastigirl wrote: »

My husbands family have for the last few years have been telling us what they want (not would like) for birthdays and xmas while this can be helpful as it does get hard to keep thinking of things to get people i find it a bit rude. Especially about xmas it is a time to be with family and enjoy the day together not about presents and who bought who what and how much.
It has it's advantages but i see more disadvantages as
1. They don't know how much we can afford and spend on them so there way we end up spending more than we would like
2. They expect that said item and get disapointed if we haven't been able to get it
3. The surprise and wonder is gone, hardly any point in wrapping it
4. i can't shop though out the year getting little bargains here and there as gifts

My in-laws are quite well off so i just find it a bit odd that they ask for things, I feel you should be greatful for what you are given at the end of the day. My mil has already told me what to get her for her bday and xmas and it's how she says it i guess that puts my back up. But i have already got her sorted for this year and i had to tell her and i am not too sure it went down so well. I know it is awful getting things you don't want but i really do put a lot of effort into getting them all things they would like and find shopping thoughout the year i can get them better things anyway.

Last year my mil bought her own bday present from us and just told us to give her the money she didn't even give it us to wrap. I was fumming.

With my brother in law and his family i tried to get out of buying for them at xmas said i would buy for all the children but not the adults. Again this did not go down to well even though they have more children than us. They still want to know how much we spend on them as in my sister in-laws words it would look bad if we got your lot big expensive things and you bought us small cheap things :eek:

I never tell them what i would like as i like surprises

It's not just rude it plain common. I'd buy them a toilet collectively from Oxfam for some people who'll appreciate it.
http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped-diy/OU4022WS

although this seems very suitable for the MIL:
http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped-animal-lovers/OU4007LS

tandraig

my MIL had christmas sorted - she just gave us a tenner for each child we wrapped them and gave them to her to give!!! wish i had her cheek. as for buying your own chrissie present and THEN asking for the money......I cant believe the cheek of it!!! while i put up with MIL i wouldnt put up with that. would tell her sorry but i am not doing adults pressies this year! what with credit crunch and xmas is realy for kids isnt it?

elastigirl

I'm glad i am not mental and think this is a bit rude as my hubby doesn't have a big problem with it. I don't mind suggestions as like i said it can be hard to know what to get, and in the case of my sister in laws daughter from a previous marriage she is almost a teenager and i haven't a clue what she would be in to. But it is specific items with specific prices that annoys me. Sil told me to get mario karts last year for her DD:eek: and it was still quite new so you couldn't get it very cheaply. She got my ds a duvet cover so i think a max spend is good. But i don't want to come across cheap if i say £10 as she has 3 children and then i have other nieces and nephews to buy for.

I will have to put my foot down. I have a good excuse anyway and have more important things to worry about like the birth of my 2nd child at xmas. Which is a whole other story as i have told mil we will not be traveling to spend the day with them like we are meant to this year. Bad daughter in law!

MrsE_2

elastigirl wrote: »

My in-laws are quite well off so i just find it a bit odd that they ask for things, I feel you should be greatful for what you are given at the end of the day. My mil has already told me what to get her for her bday and xmas and it's how she says it i guess that puts my back up. But i have already got her sorted for this year and i had to tell her and i am not too sure it went down so well. I know it is awful getting things you don't want but i really do put a lot of effort into getting them all things they would like and find shopping thoughout the year i can get them better things anyway.

A lot of people hate waste & would rather you spent your money on something they will actually use.

Do they not give you a selection to choose from? Items over a wide range of prices?

We do the kids only presents too, apart from parents & our immediate family.

PrincessPeach_2

My siblings and I got sent an email wish list from a relative for xmas the other year.

i was gobsmacked when i read it - not only was it a list of what she wanted for christmas but she also had the nerve to tell us what she didnt want in depth.

.... i refused to get anything off her list - mainly because her general behavour at the time was pretty bad, made me think i would be rewarding her for her said behaviour.


I still like the element of surprise when it comes to gifts (am such a kid lol) and if its not suitable i try to recycle where i can rather then waste it.

barnaby-bear

tizhimi wrote: »

I always feel guilty when I get nagged "what do you want for xmas?" a million times. I ask for consumable things as it is enjoyed once, it was a treat and it can't junk up your house. I ask for cheese, buscuits, wine and thats about it. That way if I get a tesco value block of cheese or a harrods hamper I'm happy either way because I know I'll enjoy it and its gone!

I think this is a super idea because it's something that can be done on any budget - throw in a nice port decanter if you are rich, just spend a lot of time and effort with cellophane on the bargain basket board if you aren't - plus no tat to hang around the house....

System

If i'm struggling for ideas then i appreciate suggestions and if theres something i know they've wanted for a while if i can afford it i will make the effort, luckily my family are very understanding of my circumstances (and usually tell me not to buy anything cos they don't want me spending the money!).

mrcow

PrincessPeach wrote: »

My siblings and I got sent an email wish list from a relative for xmas the other year.

i was gobsmacked when i read it - not only was it a list of what she wanted for christmas but she also had the nerve to tell us what she didnt want in depth.

.... i refused to get anything off her list - mainly because her general behavour at the time was pretty bad, made me think i would be rewarding her for her said behaviour.


I still like the element of surprise when it comes to gifts (am such a kid lol) and if its not suitable i try to recycle where i can rather then waste it.

Next year, get her this:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Etiquette-Dummies-Sue-Fox/dp/0470106727/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254173629&sr=8-3

And it's under the £10 mark too - so bargain!

PrincessPeach_2

mrcow wrote: »

Next year, get her this:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Etiquette-Dummies-Sue-Fox/dp/0470106727/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254173629&sr=8-3

And it's under the £10 mark too - so bargain!

Brilliant - just what she needs..... but no need - we are not speaking so i get to save my money!