Do you like your family telling you what to get them for presents?

minerva_windsong

We have lists of suggestions in my family, but not normally that specific - for example, my sister's birthday was last week and the ideas she gave me for her present were Body Shop body butter (non fruity), purple tights, a couple of books and the new Proclaimers album. The idea of the list is that you give people a choice of what to get you, and they are perfectly entitled to buy you something that isn't on the list - if you put something on there it doesn't guarantee that you'll get it. That said I would never ask for anything majorly expensive on the list, £20 is about the maximum but normally it's more like a tenner.

In a way I do like having ideas because if I really have no clue what to get someone then it's quite helpful to have ideas of what they would like. However this frequently backfires as often the people I have no clue what to get - my brothers-in-law - always say "Don't get me anything"! That said though the sneaky way around it for me is to ask my sisters...

The concept of a fixed list of specific things would rile me up though. Then you'd be lucky to get a tenner. I do understand there are obviously some things that you have to specify - perfume, books, CDs, DVDs etc (and for the latter three a choice of two or three different items is good) - but I draw the line at clothes. You'll have to settle for vouchers in that case to minimise me mucking it up.

Idiophreak

Wow, I thought I was bad, but I've nothing on some of the relatives in this thread

I'll write a looong list of stuff, probably give details of where to buy etc and how much it is...i'll prioritise things according to how much I really want them and will mention any special offers etc - also, for DVDs and stuff, I'll sometimes set a price limit, to tell people what it's worth to me - ie "I'd like Debbie Does Dallas, but only if you can pick it up for less than a fiver". Basically, as a *lazy* shopper myself, I just want to provide all the info I can to make life easy for other lazy shoppers - pick an item, job done. Because I'm never short of ideas, it's always quite a surprise which items I end up with, I rarely get duplicates (as typically I assign a "holder" of the list, that crosses stuff off when it's bought), so no fake "ooh, it's great...no, I don't have it!" nonsense and people buying me stuff generally get good value items that I really want.

Clearly, however, the way forward is to just buy myself stuff then send out invoices to my family

kr15snw

My mum expects us (me 22, my brothers both in 30's and my OH) to give her a list before christmas of exactly what we want. Down to 'The red jumper with the black ribbon, price £12.99 from jane norman product number XXX and heres a picture of it aswell'. And Im not kidding!!

Mum then shows the list to all family members and they decide what they want to get me and this gets ticked off the list. This though means that my brothers know whos getting me what, and vice versa.

I HATE IT

My future MIL and SIL asks if OH has any CD's / DVD's hed like at the moment and I tell them a selection of things I know hes after. This I think is ok

Last year I told my mum I wouldnt be buying off either of my brothers lists and she spent the whole of december worrying that I would get them something they didnt like. My brother (spoilt git at 31) even said 'well if its not on my list I dont want it! So whats the point? Bet I wont like it'.

So yeah, I dont mind writing a list of DVD's / CD's I would like at the moment to be passed around the family but not a full list of everything!

My SIL's presents are the best, she knows exactly what I like (similar tastes) and her presents are always very very good but always a surprise!

jess1974

I know i'm in the minority but i don't mind being told what people want for christmas, birthdays etc...

I find present buying really stressful, so if i know what i have to buy then it saves me loads of stress and hassle...

Every xmas, i spend most weekends traipsing up and down the high street looking for perfect gifts, also i know what i've got the person is what they really want...

gracie83

I would love to know what my family wants for birthdays/christmas! I am in the run now of dad's birthday quickly followed my mums birthday then christmas. I dread this time of year ever since I moved out of home! I am always trying to ask my other parent what the other one wants and getting no real help back other than to buy what I think is best! When you live at home you hear the little comments ' oh i wish i had ... Oh i would like ...' etc. Now I just wander around the shops praying for the flash of inspiration to hit me!

My husband has it lucky. He gets the same thing every year for his parents - vouchers and booze and perfum where as my parents wouldn't like that at all!

goggle

We do lists with several items on it - we would never ask for just one thing & expect to get it!! That way you know you're going to get something you really want/need but there is still an element of surprise.

In fairness, since Mum died, Dad prefers it this way. He's getting on a bit now & whilst he very much wnats to give a gift, he struggles to know what we like as I haven't lived at home for years. I often ask for useful stuff for Christmas as I know Dad finds it easier to shop for "new pillows" than "a T-shirt suitable to wear to work" or "something unusual" etc. I also get things like towels/sheets/pillows updated every few years & can spend my money on the things I prefer to choose myself! Where it's something specific we put the page of the argos catalogue or a pic etc on there.
Example: Last year I asked for a watch. I said that I wanted an easy to read analogue dial & a silver or black leather strap. He chose the actual watch & it's great. I got what I wanted, he chose one that fitted his budget (I knew there were ones in Argos from £4-99 to £100+ & several places in his town that he could buy me a watch) and I didn't know exactly what it would be like till I opened it.

For the record I love the watch I got, it's worn daily & shows no sign of wearing out.

mrcow

goggle wrote: »

We do lists with several items on it - we would never ask for just one thing & expect to get it!!

If anyone in my family wrote me a Christmas list with "several things on it" to choose from, they would get absolutely nothing from me and would also get told where to stick their list.

Is it only your father that you send your list of present requirements out to, or other members of your family and friends too?

PaleScene

Interesting to read this thread as there are such conflicting opinions.

I'm almost absolutely the same as Idiophreak, about this time of year I stop buying things for myself so that there will be things I'd like that are just poised for people who want a guide for my birthday or Christmas.

I personally like guidance for others as the sheer scale of people to get for could be a bit overwhelming, but that's set against a little bit of pride when I do cope and I like the organising and the giving bits I'm the one who gets nagged to open my own presents on the day because I'm watching everyone else!

Definitely there are some unholy terrors mentioned above, but I don't find it rude to make suggestions if you and the others are agreeable about amounts and so on (which clearly some aren't). Over the spread of our family we have some who would rather have a charitable present given to someone (or something else - hello freed dancing bears!), some who would like a surprise, some who make a list, some who would prefer a voucher or money for the sales - and I'm not offended by any of it. Maybe it helps that we're open about our budget limit, and I've got lots of room for creativity and even better, bargain-hunting within it.

I particularly loved the post about consumables too. One friend gives me homemade chocs or chutney and I tend to give her homemade jewellery. (Her, Mum and my friend's little girls are about the limit for handmaking though!) I love the idea of being given some edibles that I might balk at paying luxury price for in my shopping, but which wouldn't break the bank as a gift item.

onlyroz

If someone asks for suggestions then I'll give them - but I'd never just say "buy me this".

gazelle8760

If you don't know a persons tastes that well, I would always willingly accept a request from someone, even family, as to what they want for Christmas, and likewise I am not offended if anyone asks me what I want for Christmas, as it is better to have not wasted your money on something that won't be used, and better to spend on something that will be used, and is wanted.