Do you like your family telling you what to get them for presents?

tizhimi

I always feel guilty when I get nagged "what do you want for xmas?" a million times. I ask for consumable things as it is enjoyed once, it was a treat and it can't junk up your house. I ask for cheese, buscuits, wine and thats about it. That way if I get a tesco value block of cheese or a harrods hamper I'm happy either way because I know I'll enjoy it and its gone!

oystercatcher

What really annoyed me a couple of years back was, I bought two pairs of (very boring, sensible) shoes and at the checkout DH suddenly said "I'll pay and that can be your Christmas present" I could hardly refuse and I'm not materialistic but it just seemed such a let down !

Buddingblonde

elastigirl wrote: »

My husbands family have for the last few years have been telling us what they want (not would like) for birthdays and xmas while this can be helpful as it does get hard to keep thinking of things to get people i find it a bit rude. Especially about xmas it is a time to be with family and enjoy the day together not about presents and who bought who what and how much.
It has it's advantages but i see more disadvantages as
1. They don't know how much we can afford and spend on them so there way we end up spending more than we would like
2. They expect that said item and get disapointed if we haven't been able to get it
3. The surprise and wonder is gone, hardly any point in wrapping it
4. i can't shop though out the year getting little bargains here and there as gifts

My in-laws are quite well off so i just find it a bit odd that they ask for things, I feel you should be greatful for what you are given at the end of the day. My mil has already told me what to get her for her bday and xmas and it's how she says it i guess that puts my back up. But i have already got her sorted for this year and i had to tell her and i am not too sure it went down so well. I know it is awful getting things you don't want but i really do put a lot of effort into getting them all things they would like and find shopping thoughout the year i can get them better things anyway.

Last year my mil bought her own bday present from us and just told us to give her the money she didn't even give it us to wrap. I was fumming.

With my brother in law and his family i tried to get out of buying for them at xmas said i would buy for all the children but not the adults. Again this did not go down to well even though they have more children than us. They still want to know how much we spend on them as in my sister in-laws words it would look bad if we got your lot big expensive things and you bought us small cheap things :eek:

I never tell them what i would like as i like surprises

Are you me? My MIL does this every year (the most she has spent on herself for her Xmas is £175!!!) - I wouldnt mind but a few years ago I got a glass angel that was being sold in the local card shop (so you can guess the quality) for £3.99 - and it was broken!!! To be fair my OH wiped the floor with her about that but he is reluctant to challenge the "you will spend what I am worth" view point of his family. My own family all get toekn gifts of around £25 each - we have always done this and this wouldnt change (apart from my mother felt inclinded to get involved one year in a competition with my MIL and gave me and OH £200 for Xmas - I was soo upset and begged her not to buy into it).

picnic

tell your in laws that you are not giving gifts this year that you are going to give all the money you would have spent to charity..... see how they react to that.....

nomnomnom

Totally sympathise OP. My OH's family do this too and I hate it! My family never do it. But his send lists out and his Dad's wife always puts expensive perfume and makeup on hers...

nearlyrich

I am so glad we only do presents for the children in our extended family.

mrcow

Only way around this is to put your foot down. Tell her you've already got something. If she moans, then just ignore, ignore, ignore!

You'll only ever have to do it the once!

Limit everyone to a tenner and stick to it. That is more than enough present for anyone - including your mother in law or any other member of your family.

LJM

i like family telling me what they want for xmas,as you get older its harder to buy for people,least if they tell you it is usually something they actually want or need

Emmzi

I do an amazon wishlist for those as want but make sure it starts at £2 :-)

I hate being told what to get and it guarantees a special gift of 'something I made'.

I am not very craft skilled at all.

Buttonmoons

I hate Christmas shopping for my family, OH's family are grateful for anything thing you give them and they always buy us useful gifts, like one Xmas they bought us a very good quality cutlery set as we were still using the £2.99 asda set that we bought when we moved in!

I told my mum this year I'm not buying her, and my sisters are getting the amount I spend on them halved, we have a lot less money this year but could of still managed what I gave them normally BUT -

Last year I bought my parents a digital camera as they were going abroad for Xmas, and didn't have one.
Gave my two sisters gifts to the amount of £50 each.

We got - NOTHING, DD got a £7 toy from argos. I'm still waiting for the gifts we'd supposedly get when she got back. Now I'm not one for prices of gifts etc, but I found that pretty shocking, esp as it was some plastic rubbish polly pocket type thing. It broke the same day!