Do you like your family telling you what to get them for presents?

SarahNeedle1872

anguk wrote: »

I hate it when people tell you what to buy them, I think it's just plain rude. Presents should be given, not expected.

I know people who will give out lists to family at Christmas/birthdays telling them what to buy! If someone did that to me I think I'd deliberately get them something they hadn't asked for.

My brother and I both agreed years ago to just buy for kids not the adults as his wife comes from a big family and it works out very expensive. My OH has 2 nieces who have 5 children between them and there's another 2 on the way! I do ask if the little ones like a particular toy or character and try to get something they'll like.

Nail. Head. Hit!

I would be fuming if someone told me what they wanted for Xmas (other than OH, normally he's so vague!)... and if I'm asked what I want, I always think of something that is good value/inexpensive, or say 'I don't know'. If I'm asked for DS (usually by my Mum) I always ask for practical things like clothes, and thats mainly because I know Mum is a charity shop queen, and if she's feeling flush, she'll splash out on supermarket clothes:T Love her!

Sx

elastigirl

MrsE wrote: »

Do they not give you a selection to choose from? Items over a wide range of prices?

No it is a def get me that for present i have seen it in xxx store no options. She said this weekend '' right i know what i want you to get me for my birthday it's xxx then you can get your dad xxx for his (meaning father in law) and for xmas i will have xxx and dad will have xxxx.

last xmas she bought herself some jewllery and asked for £50 towards it and father in law a leather jacket and £50 towards that. Like i said they are well off so if they want something they are able to buy it themsleves. Nothing i have given before has been wasted as i always spend a lot of time putting presents together.

I think it's one thing if you ask what someone would like but to tell you months in advance i def want that item is rude. I will just always say i already have presents to make it easy.

They can have a new grandchild this year and lump it!
mrcow love that book idea:rotfl:

My family have never done lists or said what they want so i find it odd. I guess i am not material as Socks, pants and a orange in my stocking makes me smile. It wouldn't be xmas if mum didn't buy me socks.

WASHER

My immediate and extended family decided years ago that we won't do gifts for Christmas or birthdays. A simple card with a personal message is so much more meaningful.

The only people I buy for, are my children.

I certainly would not be happy with a list, I don't even appreciate a wedding list, I buy vouchers instead as a wedding gift...usually Tesco or Sainsbury if I am honest, so they can choose food or an household item.

remembered_nights

I'm ordered to do a list Then I am a fussy article, but I try to make it as varied as possible with DVDs and books from like £1.99.

Most of family have amazon wishlists now which is very helpful - and you don't have to buy from amazon so can still save the pennies

Fork86

Wow, how rude.

I would not give in to any of her demands. If your husband concedes to these demands, then I would advise you to do as your MIL does, buy yourself an extremely lavish present, and just leave her the receipt on Xmas day.

Atleast that way you are equal with her.

moneytracker

I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand telling someone "this is what you need to buy me" is so rude...

On the other hand I do like people to ask me what I'd like - otherwise I end up with tons of gifts I'll never get any use out of and they sit in a cupboard for six months then get passed to the charity shop.

Just got to a point where I hate people buying presents just for the sake of it.

ailuro2

If you have a big family then getting more of the stuff you don't use would be a pain, and it would be more practical to buy the person something they had asked for. Giving them money towards something they fancied themselves is a bit cheeky though.

In our family we only buy a silly little fiver gift for the adults so they have something to open - and even then, only if we're going to see them around Christmas time, we are scattered across the country so if we don't see each other then we don't do gifts.

We do presents for the kids. The teens get a cheque. If it's something bulky for the younger ones then sometimes we'll say we wanted to get xx for them, and the parent will offer to buy it and wrap it and the other person sends a cheque for it.Cheaper than Royal Mail, but it's exceptional for that to happen.




Suggest this year that you all buy just one present for someone and keep the rest of money for yourselves. Like a secret santa. Draw it out of a hat next time you have a get together. Put a limit on how much you can spend! £20 would be reasonable, imho. Get support from your other family members before you approach MIL with this idea.

Primrose

I think by the time that most people have become adults, they have acquired the minimum amout of consumer "stuff" they NEED, (which doesn't necessarily mean the amount of consumer "stuff" they WANT (which is altogether a different thing). In many cases the sensible thing is for adults to give up buying presents for each other, or at least stick to a very low token sum and make it something amusing, original or home-made just so that the concept is observed. We've given up adult present buying in our family. In one direction when we first suggested it, it went down like a lead balloon but I suspect it is now a relief especially as we're all overloaded with "stuff" and trying to declutter. The present buying exercise just adds to the stress of Christmas and the over-commercialisation of it, which so many people seem to abhor but perpetuate by refusing to make a stand about spending more than they can afford.

RoxieW

I think it's very rude to ask for something in particular - unless someone asks which I don't even like because I prefer a surprise.
Although I do like it when people ask what to get our kids because they have so much and they end up getting duplicate toys or huge unsuitable toys that we dont have space for.

fernliebee

I do think it's rude to expect, though helpful if it is a suggestion iyswim. When DD was born, and for her b'day and christmas, everyone kept asking what does she need? What shall we get her? So I thought of a handful of ideas for fairly cheap (around £5-£10) things such as tights, nappy cream (a specific type that I use which is fairly pricey for nappy cream, but a nice gift), books etc. I told everyone the same thing, so could of ended up with lot's of the same, or none of the above, but didn't expect any of it.

Now when people ask what to get her I usually say books as you can never have too many and if you get one you already have you can swap it at waterstones etc for a different one, and pretend their existing copy was the present if they come round etc.

If someone asks for a specific gift (I usually want my brothers to be specific as they are hard to buy for) I will try and get it, but won't overly put myself out, and if I can't then I will just get them something different. In our family we have started doing this thing where you are only allowed to spend £1 on adults and you have to get the best or worst present you can! It is hilarious some of the things that we get. Kids get a fair bit though, as it should be IMO as we are not religious, christmas is for the kids really.