I'm so angry

reeree

pipkin71 wrote: »

Why should it have to be one of life's lessons learned? There are many adults who wouldn't put up with bullying in the workplace so why should children?

As for your last sentence, I'm sorry, but that is not the case. The problem will not be magnified, it will be resolved - at least for the child being bullied.

No-one should have to learn to deal with emotional and physical abuse. It does not have to be a fact of life and the sooner that everyone comes together against bullying and realises it wont be tolerated, the better.

I so agree with what you say, I cannot relate to what pssst says at all can you imagine if every day we went to work and someone called us a fat B****** or worse, and not only that punched and kicked us


and oh yes if they felt like it thumped us between the legs said you we were worthless and they were going to wait for us after work and then kicked the crap out of us would it still be part of life and you have to put up with it I dont think so and yet our children are supposed to accept this as if it is the norm, why is it not acceptable if you are an adult but classed as part of life if you are a child

daska

there's a lot of bunk talked about home ed. the fact is that when done well it is superb and when done badly it stinks. as long as you're determined to be in the former group and make sure you understand what the child needs (which isn't formulaic) you'll do fine!

one to make you laugh

my advice on clubs would not be to get him to go along to all and any. try to choose one that he will neither struggle with nor excel at, it sounds as if he needs some time blending in rather than standing out. Generally, unlike school clubs where often the teachers are expected to do it as part of the job, you'll find independent clubs are about kids and leaders who really want to do something, not about bullies, especially when the people running the clubs are giving their time for free.

reeree

Ive just had a call from the lea, he was was very understanding and said it would now be referred and someone would come out and access what dg needs, he also said he was going to phone the school and find out why there had been so little support for dg, I dont know if ive mentioned it in my earlier posts but there are two policeman based at that school, when dg plucked up courage to tell them what the other kids where doing, one of them said yes I saw it, oh well you will be friends tomorrow and left it at that, needless to say dg never went back to them

jackieb

Pssst wrote: »

Havent read all the posts just the front page.

Dealing with bullies and other such types is unfortunately one of lifes lessons to be learned.

You either fight back or go under.

Mummy wont always be there to hold your hand.

Schooling at home...well that will just magnify the problem for later life.

I wasn't going to post on this thread but this post made :mad:

My son was bullied at school. He left early because of this and got exceptional entry to the local college. In one class at college, when the tutor was out of the room, one pupil put electrical cable round his neck and pulled it tight so he had a mark on his neck. He was taken to hospital by college staff. He was okay but very shaken up. The problem with that college was that it was a lot of the same rowdy crowd who bothered him at school went on to go to that college.
A year later and he's at a different college 40 miles away. The students there are a different kind but it's still affecting him. Last week I got a call from our GP. Unbeknown to me he had made a doctor's appointment. She called me to ask if I could come down to the surgery as she was very worried about him. He'd been thinking of ways on how to end his life, and he was admitted to the local psychiatric hospital that same day.

I'm glad he talked to her about it. I hope it's just a cry for help as a lot of suicides just happen, and no-one knew how much that person was hurting or what they had planned to do.

I wish i'd taken him out of school years ago. Did staying at school and taking it on the chin help my son? I'd have loved it if my son had fought back and managed to stick up for himself, but if it's a few against one, what do you do? Are you saying that if you don't have it in you to fight back then you should go under? Unbelievable!


To the OP - I wish your grandson all the very best. I'm sure you're doing the right thing.

reeree

jackieb wrote: »

I wasn't going to post on this thread but this post made :mad:

My son was bullied at school. He left early because of this and got exceptional entry to the local college. In one class at college, when the tutor was out of the room, one pupil put electrical cable round his neck and pulled it tight so he had a mark on his neck. He was taken to hospital by college staff. He was okay but very shaken up. The problem with that college was that it was a lot of the same rowdy crowd who bothered him at school went on to go to that college.
A year later and he's at a different college 40 miles away. The students there are a different kind but it's still affecting him. Last week I got a call from our GP. Unbeknown to me he had made a doctor's appointment. She called me to ask if I could come down to the surgery as she was very worried about him. He'd been thinking of ways on how to end his life, and he was admitted to the local psychiatric hospital that same day.

I'm glad he talked to her about it. I hope it's just a cry for help as a lot of suicides just happen, and no-one knew how much that person was hurting or what they had planned to do.

I wish i'd taken him out of school years ago. Did staying at school and taking it on the chin help my son? I'd have loved it if my son had fought back and managed to stick up for himself, but if it's a few against one, what do you do? Are you saying that if you don't have it in you to fight back then you should go under? Unbelievable!


To the OP - I wish your grandson all the very best. I'm sure you're doing the right thing.

thankyou, Im so sorry for what happened to your son, Im so afraid that if my dg stays at this school that something similar would happen to him, Its been a nightmare seeing him off to school each morning and wondering what they are doing to him and every day he comes home has been worse that the last. looking through his student planner book Ive found more things that he has written, its like a list really he says he dosent mind me sharing it with you all

No friends
they call me fat
pick on me all the time
no one even likes me
they kick me poke me
they call my mum names
I cant concentrate
they shout out fat b****** and point at me
one that i thought was my only friend joins in now
they talk about me behind my back
no one does anything
its hell
I want to move
help me
Its happened to me all my life
can i go home for good
i cant stick up for myself
i feel like im in jail

jenhug

you need to show that to the police, school and LA.
I'm so glad your DG has you on your side.

JimmyTheWig

Pssst wrote: »

Havent read all the posts just the front page.

Dealing with bullies and other such types is unfortunately one of lifes lessons to be learned.

You either fight back or go under.

Mummy wont always be there to hold your hand.

Schooling at home...well that will just magnify the problem for later life.

pipkin71 wrote: »

Why should it have to be one of life's lessons learned? There are many adults who wouldn't put up with bullying in the workplace so why should children?

As for your last sentence, I'm sorry, but that is not the case. The problem will not be magnified, it will be resolved - at least for the child being bullied.

No-one should have to learn to deal with emotional and physical abuse. It does not have to be a fact of life and the sooner that everyone comes together against bullying and realises it wont be tolerated, the better.

Can I play devil's advocate here a minute?
While I think it is clear that Pssst hasn't read the whole thread, I think what they are saying is that dealing with bullying is a life-skill.

Pipkin is right that many adults wouldn't put up with bullying in the workplace. But what do you do if you are being bullied in the workplace? The best thing to do is to deal with it and make the bullying stop.

So I do think that in many cases (most, I believe, but not in this case) the answer is to stay in school and deal with it.
The life lesson to be learned isn't to put up with it and cope, but how to deal with it and get it sorted.

But in some cases (and this is where I think Pssst would have benefitted from reading on before posting) this just isn't an option and the time has come to get him out of there.

tandraig

Actually, I think reeree and her daughter have acted correctly, they tried very hard to get the school to deal with the problem and as a last resort have now removed him from danger.
As you say Jimmy the wig, bullying in the workplace should not be tolerated, but, we enter the workplace as adults and our experience of life should have taught us by then how to read our contracts and to look up employment law. Sometimes bullying in the workplace cannot be sorted out or ‘got to stop’ particularly if it comes from the top! The only option then is to resign and find another job in more congenial surroundings. Which is what reeree and daughter have shown gs by example haven’t they?
By the way reeree, the more you share with us the more i get disgusted and upset with that school! There would have been two policemen on Tandraigs hitlist when i had finished with mr headmaster!
Tell your grandson i think he is the bravest boy i have ever heard of to take all that for so long – my son had it for just six months and you know what happened then. Your gs deserves a bravery medal.

tandraig

I meant to say to thanks jackieb for sharing that - it was brave of you too!!!
I said earlier about how the class i did support tutoring with were all either expelled from school or were taken out of school for one reason or another. the class were great and i really enjoyed my year with them and part of the next year with a new group. they really bonded and did well and i have to say this - most of it was down to their form tutor - she really did a fantastic job with them and it was down to her that they united and looked after each other.

reeree

Well weve posted the deregistering letter this afternoon, actually i gave that pleasure to dg. Already in just a week i can see a change in him, hes so much happier and so pleased to be doing his lessons at home he is like a different boy, I wish my daughter had taken him out sooner when we first discussed it earlier this year then he woudnt have had to go through all this, but its done now and with no pressure from me