Please help, partner spending my cash!

sharpy2010

Looks like i've posted without reading the whole thread...

Hope things work out for you!

sharpy2010

Trollfever wrote: »

My ex is an additional cardholder on a card of mine that has a very substantial limit.
It is for use in case of need and if it gets abused will be instantly withdrawn.

You are CRAZY!!!!!!!!

jennihen

Morning Angeleyes!
Hope you are still full of resolve!! I'm wishing you all the best when it comes to sorting out the finances. Its the tough times that make us stronger. I hope gf realises you are doing this for both of you . . .

angeleeyes

I logged into my Halifax today and found a new £10 transaction. My blood levels started to boil but I noticed this was a transaction before we had the talk, so pointless me flying off the handle about it, she's apologised (understatement) so it's a new start, but the last attempt at the same time. It was impossible to be new anyway as I've changed the pin and got the cards in my wallet!

Sorted my own finances out today though, paid 10% of the debt off which I hope to do each month, then the standing order I'll be receiving will go back into savings and allow us to enjoy our relationship a little more (we're still young), so I'll be able to treat her to the odd meal out etc, positive reinforcement and all that

Moneytroubles_2

Morning Mr Angeleyes

Just read through this whole post, and wanted to wish you luck, I kind of understand what your going through, I cleared my OH's debts off really early on in the relationship, and also paid for him to go on holiday and paid for his passport, I think it was the wrong thing to do as it totally gave him the wrong idea and now he is so laid back about his money cos he knows I will swoop in and save the day, which looking at my signature you will see where that has got me, has half the debts are actually is!

angeleeyes

Moneytroubles wrote: »

Morning Mr Angeleyes

Just read through this whole post, and wanted to wish you luck, I kind of understand what your going through, I cleared my OH's debts off really early on in the relationship, and also paid for him to go on holiday and paid for his passport, I think it was the wrong thing to do as it totally gave him the wrong idea and now he is so laid back about his money cos he knows I will swoop in and save the day, which looking at my signature you will see where that has got me, has half the debts are actually is!

Yep, I think I've acted just in time as it could well have snowballed. I've made it very clear that the relationship will not move on to any further levels until debt's are paid off, so decision is hers

On the upside, she cancelled her girly holiday that was planned for next summer :T

Moneytroubles_2

That's good of her, has she told her friends why she has cancelled? and I think its very wise of you not to move any further, I should have been getting married next week but due to the fiancial stress of everything we cancelled it all!

We have lived together 2 years, and if I could go back I would do everything so different, I would be firmer with OH he got loans / cc's just because he could! We also went on hol last year and I said I would pay for flights if he would pay for spends, which he did but I later found out he did this by uping his over draft to 3k!

Our main problem is our monies are so blurred, I'm slowly trying to split everything so im paying for my debts and he's paying for is, and we pay for our own things such as holidays, I pay half and he pays half, but its never that easy

Sometimes I think money really does make the world go round!

angeleeyes

I heard her say "I can't afford it next year", I got the impression that her friend was saying "Yeah but you only need to pay £50 deposit and they pay for the rest nearer the time" but shockingly she stuck to it, crazy.

I know people say money doesn't make you happy, but I bet it bloody helps. I want to thump that girl who blew her lottery winnings within 2 years, what a !!!!

sarahs999

I may have missed this, but does your girlfriend work?

Moneytroubles_2

Wow, that is good then

Yeah exactly it does help! Not aware of that lottery winner though but I don't think I would like her lol