MSE Parents Club Part 7

SugarSpun

Glamazon wrote: »

u not having anymore?

You're supposed to wait 12-18 months after a c-section before TTC. It seems a really long time

skintchick wrote: »

Why the bl00dy hell wont she just go to sleep and stay asleep?

She's not feeling well and doesn't understand, she's not doing it on purpose. But it's ok to make sure she's safe somewhere and then leave the room. It's also ok to hand her to your OH and go outside for an hour or two. He might feel a bit unnerved because you look much more capable than he feels IYSWIM.

Thanks Sami, I'm ok about it in the sense that at the time I knew it was necessary, and we were both ok. I'm just afraid of what happens the next time and wishing I could join in the early conceivers

I'm delighted for Mel and Weezl though :beer:

feelinggood_2

Talking of involved Daddies, OH has done no nappies, no dressing, no settling, no pushing the pram, no medicine, one bottle, no bathing. He just doesn't enjoy that stuff. He does enjoy through LO in the air, making him fly, walking him around the house, and playing with the rabbit. The more I push him to do something, the less he does it, so I just let him do what he chooses.

3onitsway

SugarSpun wrote: »

3, I said "I wish it could be me", but it won't be

I'm still gutted about having a C-section.

Why gutted? You're baby is here and you and she are fine! It doesn't matter how she got here!
I had a c-section with No.1 - and i do remember feeling like I hadn't done it properly iykwim! My 'friend' didn't help by telling me 'don't you complain about childbirth, you don't know what its like!'. :mad: (Funnily enough, I haven't seen her for about 10 years now!)

Glamazon wrote: »

3 - is that the women's?
button - come & live with me to get ur private hospital!!!

No, we're on The Wirral. We can't go mixing with those commoners (Alex C included) at the Liverpool Womens! :rotfl:

money_maker_3

SS, I have had 2 sections and have never been told to wait 12-18 months !!

redmel1621

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Yay!! Congratulations sweetie!! :T

How did you manage to talk your hubby round?

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Or Mel did you trick him? (I'm soo not incredibly tempted to do that in about 18mths time :whistle:)

No I didn't trick him...I just simply said he is in charge of contraception....so we were using condoms and it was up to him to get them/use them etc and on a few occasions he couldn't be arsed....esp as they are in his bedside cabinet and if we weren't in the bedroom iykwim then he didn't bother!

Skinty, I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment, I know there is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better but it honestly does get easier with time. Does she have a dummy if not give her one. Also are you breast feeding, if so have you tried combi feeding with formula or switching completely to formula....DO NOT try and be a 'model parent' whatever the hell one of them is, just do whatever needs to be done to get through each day. FGS Kai is being a funny booger with his eating and is barely gaining weight I am chucking full bags of crisps and all sorts at him to get him to gain a bit of weight......some people may frown upon it, but they are not in my shoes so I couldn't care less what 'people' think!!!
As for getting you oh to do stuff with baby, my policy is don't expect them to help that way you can never be disappointed if they don't...I know that may sound odd but I just get on with it and when dh does help then it helps me out! (Luckily he does) And finally as for eating...stick her in her cot and leave her to scream.....I'm not joking, she will not explode, ut you have to eat or you will not be in any fir state to look after her properly!!!

Mel x

Glamazon

Aw SS - it will fly by! I can't believe that 7 weeks ago I was in hospital with a beautiful newborn baby next to me!

LOL @ 3 - am I a commoner? I had my NT scan at the Women's! :rotfl:

skintchick

Glamazon wrote: »

skinty - do u want to exclusively BF til 6 months? I'm sure that if u expressed, OH could help out which will give you a break and let him bond more with her - he might respond better to her crying and be able to settle her. My OH didn't do much but now he's done a bit more he knows what Jack wants when he cries (not just food everytime!) and Jack will settle with him.

Yes I do Glam. I dunno, I just feel weird about expressing, I really don;t fancy it. Can;t explain why thought

feelinggood wrote: »

I find it best to only rely on me skinty, and not expect OH to do anything. The pressure and expectation gets to him, could that be same with your OH?

Start getting cereal bars, toast, crackers, fruit and similiar things in so you can eat regularly.

One thing, do you need to settle her in bed early? Can you not just hold her and let her sleep in your arms till you go to bed? I don't have any success in getting a baby who doesn't want to sleep to sleep. Sometimes Toby is still rolling around in the bed awake when I'm dozing off. He is currently bouncing on my knee, shouting at the rabbit.

OH wanted her to start going to bed so we could have time together, which is nice when it works but it means I spend from 10.30pm each night when we go to bed, to 8.30ishpm each evening when she finally goes to sleep, doing baby stuff, then two hours in bewteen listening to the monitor and panicking she is going to wake up, while cooking, doing washing, coming online to check mails etc., and generally trying to do everything else.

It's too much.

She does want to go to sleep, she is just rubbish at going off on her own. Usualy that's OK cos I get her off quickly by feeding her or rocking her, then pop her down on the bed and come downstairs, but recently she has been waking straight up again and not settling back, and cos I get so stressed over it then she gets worse cos she picks that up.

I suppose I thought OH would do more - we did discuss it before she was born - but the reality is that he wants a break when he comes in from work. BUt I feel his break is when he gets to sleep all night! Cos I don;t even get that.

Maybe Im just in a bad place right now. Evenings are my worst time.

MEL we cross posted. She won;t take a dummy, I have tried, and I cannot leave her to cry, that would make me worse. I am OK at surviving on not much food or drink - my milk always seems OK. I did have lunch out with other mummies today although Lilia was crying through most of it! I really don;t want to do formula - that would upset me even more than this. I know she is just ill and it's not deliberate, but when she's ill I get no smiles from her and it doesn;t seem worthwhile at all.

money_maker_3

skinty, sweetheart, you need to talk to your HV or GP as soon as you can. All we can give is hugs, an ear to listen and tell you what we did / do , but I think you may need more than that. Please dont let it get too far. I refused help after Jas and was still suffering PND when she was 2

3onitsway

Glamazon wrote: »

LOL @ 3 - am I a commoner? I had my NT scan at the Women's! :rotfl:

Well, in that case, you must be! :rolleyes:

skintchick wrote: »

I suppose I thought OH would do more - we did discuss it before she was born - but the reality is that he wants a break when he comes in from work. BUt I feel his break is when he gets to sleep all night! Cos I don;t even get that.
.

Silly question!, but have you told him how you feel?
I know i'm absolutely rubbish at telling OH what I need him to do, I just slam around doing it myself, while throwing him the odd dirty look!

Feelie The men get to do all the fun stuff like throwing around/tickling contests! Its not fair. If there is reincarnation, i'm coming back as a bloke!

redmel1621

Keep perservering with a dummy!!! I gave up on ds2, worst mistake of my life!! And I am 100% certain that if ds1 and ds3 didn't have dummy I wouldn't think they were so content either....honestly I would never ever give in to my babies having a dummy ever agin. Kai didn't like it at first either but I kept on sticking it in and eventually he took it. Honestly I don't know how people manage without giving a dummy I seriously felt like throwing ds2 out the window a few times cos he wouldn't stop screaming I was seriously depressed because of it and it nearly destroyed my marriage!!!!!