The advantages of being single

Glen0000

ailuro2 wrote: »

I think that's the secret - being happy on your own, being able to love your own company, then you can truly find your other half.:D

I agree. From this thread a lot of couples seem to live in each others pockets, not healthy!

kindofagilr

Some of these reasons are insane, makes me pity the relationships you have had in the past (just a general comment, not aimed at anyone in particular)

larmy16

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I get vicarious pleasure from it because I don't have to live it myself any more. Any way, I don't think of it as time "wasted", it's a time-investment to me

I suppose I am thinking more of the friend who spends hours complaining about the abusive man they are seeing and how terribly he treats her. You then make suggestions of what they could do and then they turn round and start listing all his good points and why they want to stay with them! Then in when a new man comes along, you don't hear a dickie bird from them!

foxy-roxy

I liked the fact, when i was single, that when i got home from work i could put the music channels on and dance around my flat singing and not get laughed at, i could put the christmas decs up when i wanted to, i got kittens because i wanted to, i could just have crumpets for my tea because it was what i felt like.
But now i am in a relationship, i love it and would probably feel lonely if i was still on my own, but i do miss meeting up with mates straight from work and not going back home until i felt like it, because that's just selfish if i did.

I think it depends on each individual, some people are just not ready to commit to relationships so are very happy being single and others are ready for a partner and hate being sinlge.
Swings and roundabouts as they say.

BitterAndTwisted

kindofagilr wrote: »

Some of these reasons are insane, makes me pity the relationships you have had in the past (just a general comment, not aimed at anyone in particular)

Eh, I thought we were just having a laugh, not being completely and utterly serious. Some of the things I listed have never been a feature of any of the relationships I've had and I expect that 's true of some of the other posters as well.

fantasia322

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Eh, I thought we were just having a laugh, not being completely and utterly serious. Some of the things I listed have never been a feature of any of the relationships I've had and I expect that 's true of some of the other posters as well.

It was meant to be lighthearted, but I also hoped to gain a little more insight so that i could convince my serial wife mate that she needs to learn to love herself, learn to be happy on her own, and stop sending the message to her 4 daughters that you have to have a man if your life to be happy.
I do think that if she achieved some of the above, she might find 'real' love instead of bouncing from relationship to relationship. It's sad really.

Buddingblonde

I have a friend like this who in her whole adult life the longest she has been single is 6 months!! She has gone from long term relationship to long term relationship. If one is not working she starts looking for the next - has always cheated on partners rather than ending it.
She says that she cannot be happy on her own but the problem is the fact that with every new relationship (and friendship for that matter) she morphs into whatever she thinks that person likes (a bit like run away bride - the Julia Roberts and Richard Gere film).
She is now in a relationship with a woman - she says it will do until something better comes along. I seriously worry that she will never be happy as she has no idea who she is, what she wants and where she is going!

Being single was the hardest thing in the world for the first 3 months - once I got the hang of it I found it sooooo empowering. I am now happy in a long term relationship but I would not find it hard to leave if I thought that it had lost it.

BitterAndTwisted

Blimey! Being in a relationship with a same-sex partner if you're heterosexual just to tide you over until something better comes along is a strange and desperate way to live your life. Not to say how unspeakably cruel and unkind it is to use a partner in such a way when they're supposed to be the one person in your life you love and respect most.. Crazy stuff. I feel utterly sane and well-balanced in comparison, even if currently a long-term celibate which is not necessarily by choice.

January20

fantasia322 wrote: »

It was meant to be lighthearted, but I also hoped to gain a little more insight so that i could convince my serial wife mate that she needs to learn to love herself, learn to be happy on her own, and stop sending the message to her 4 daughters that you have to have a man if your life to be happy.
I do think that if she achieved some of the above, she might find 'real' love instead of bouncing from relationship to relationship. It's sad really.

I hope this is the message my daughter is getting from my lifestyle, that you can have relationships, men who are lovers (only one at a time please ) and men who are friends, but that ultimately, if one wishes to remain single, there is nothing wrong with it.

Thankfully, my friends seem to have got the message and stopped hinting about me getting into a relationship. My life is just as successful and meaningful eventhough I am single.

Glen0000

foxy-roxy wrote: »

But now i am in a relationship, i love it and would probably feel lonely if i was still on my own, but i do miss meeting up with mates straight from work and not going back home until i felt like it, because that's just selfish if i did.
.

Not selfish at all as long as you let your partner know you might not be home so they dont worry. My wife did this about once a month when she was at uni. I had no problem at all as long it is not every night. She is an adult and I trust her. She once rolled in about 6am, but I was fast asleep anyway!