Thank F*** It's Friday !!! ****Daily Chat Thread 18 Sep****

spud30

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I have finally read your post properly and see I still got it wrong mixing alcohol with your DS - sorry

Blimey BB....DS is only 11 - I would be worried about my parenting if it was him with the problem :rotfl:

Ames

Oh Spud, that sounds awful. But if it's only just started getting bad then maybe he can pull it back. Have you told him when he's sober how nasty he is drunk? He probably doesn't realise how badly it affects you all, but now's the time to get it through to him, when it's still doesn't realise, and before it becomes doesn't care.

Burlesque_Babe

lol - I just hadn't read it properly and the words kind of went together. I saw alcohol and thought it was a friend and then everyone started saying about your DS and I thought - whoops, it's not a friend, but then I went back as your DS being on the plonk didn't make sense either :rotfl:

Must be the rather potent glass of rose I've quaffed (the irony there shining through!!)

sallyx

I think getting evidence of him like that is a great idea...and also record a bit of you on there saying how unhappy it makes you and your concerns. Plug it in and make him watch it....I bet he is either mortified and changes or he doesn't and then its you who has to decide the way forward. We are all here for you xx

spud30

Ames wrote: »

Oh Spud, that sounds awful. But if it's only just started getting bad then maybe he can pull it back. Have you told him when he's sober how nasty he is drunk? He probably doesn't realise how badly it affects you all, but now's the time to get it through to him, when it's still doesn't realise, and before it becomes doesn't care.

I just dont know how to say it hun. He's a lovely fella, just not when he's had a drink

spud30

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

lol - I just hadn't read it properly and the words kind of went together. I saw alcohol and thought it was a friend and then everyone started saying about your DS and I thought - whoops, it's not a friend, but then I went back as your DS being on the plonk didn't make sense either :rotfl:

Must be the rather potent glass of rose I've quaffed (the irony there shining through!!)

I think I need a glass of whatever you've had :rotfl: :beer:

Ames

Then I think getting a video would be a good idea. But I think maybe going out and asking him to watch it whille you're gone would be a better idea, let him have chance to properly think about it rather than just knee jerk saying what he thinks you want to hear. If you give it time to sink in he might take more notice.

Burlesque_Babe

spud30 wrote: »

It's DH that is horrible after a drink, so your situation is very relevant. Nothing physical so far, just verbal. He lays one finger on me or the kids and he's out on his arse

sorry to hear With my ex, it was sometimes depression linked, sometimes needing to spend money to prove we had some (we didn't which made him want to spend it) him saying 'I don't have anything expensive, so I will have wine just so it's something for me' (we didn't have anything posh because of the amount spent on alcohol!), money burning a hole in his pocket whenever we did have some, not believing 'cheap' wine was worth having......I won't go on :rolleyes:

Whilst he is drunk, I can't offer a solution other than let him get on with it in another room. I never found a solution overall sadly. The problem with us is that it spiralled - I changed - I got to 30 and wasn't the person he met at 19. He also changed and we started to drift and the alcohol was an accelerant really. The only (small) mercy is that he wasn't interested in spirits and it was 'only' evening drinking.

I do look back and it's quite sad really because he is such a good guy and we are good friends now but alcohol (in particular wine) to him is like an 8 year old being given cart blanche in a sweet shop on pocket money day.

If it's getting regular, maybe have a chat with one of the alcohol help groups for some advice xxxxxx

beanielou

How many nights is he having a drink?
Weekends?
He works night shift?

Burlesque_Babe

GunJack wrote: »

BB, did you ever get that laptop sorted for nephew (I think ) ???

ooh, possibly not me - I don't have a nephew

I did have my own PC which went BANG very spectacularly - I swapped the PSU and the static made it go BANG again a week later :rolleyes: I am now on my own lappy.