SAHM needs to pay off debts

slm6002

OH keeps £568 for his own expenses.

Lorry ins = £85
Lorry loan = £197
Mobile Phone = £48 - i am currently looking at this for him to save money
Fuel = £60
Gym = £24.75
Smoking = £45
Going out /darts each week = £108.25

I realise that he should quit smoking and perhaps consider going to darts maybe once every other week, but this is his relax time. The insurance for the lorry is due to him having a recovery truck and using it for that purpose. Very few companies were actually willing to insure him. He is making some money from this business but as he has only started this in the past 3 months it will take time to get business in.

I hope that answers a few questions that you have.

wannabedebtfree_2

Does the truck pay for itself?? Is it earning him more than its costing?

I think your hubby's £226 per month spend on non-essentials is a little excessive if you have debt to get rid of, so that needs to sorted, can he not limit a night out to £10 one a week?? That would free up £50-75 per month.

I've gone on entitledto again, using the full figures and you should be getting about £315 per month from the tax credits, which is a little more than you are currently getting, but still worth looking into.

Personally, I would get my OH to give me all of the money, and then give him back an 'allowance' - I know lots of others do this and it seems to work for them!

My OH is the SAHD, so he only earns £75 per week, he gives me £60 and keeps £15 a week for fishing/games/cd's whatever, but more often than not he doesn't spend it and when he has a couple of hundred quid saved we've done something like bought our wardrobes (my clothes were in piles around my bedroom for 5 years!!!!) but if we are having a tight week he would just give me the extra £15........

I assume that your hubby has not had his lightbulb moment yet, otherwise he wouldn't think spending £52 per week purely on stuff for his own entertainment is reasonable (I know he probably needs the mobile for work but this can be cut right back), and yeah if he works hard then he deserves some treats, but I think this needs to be cut back by half.........we all defend our partners, but if he was my hubby and I was worried about debt I know the resentment would start to build, if I was struggling to pay the bills but saw him off enjoying himself to the tune of £52 per week I would not be a happy bunny!!!! Just don't let it get to that point........you both need to sit down and go through it together....he needs to see what is being paid out every month and then you probably won't have to 'ask' for extra money from him, he might just 'give' it to you!

Anyway, hope it all went well at the hospital today and enjoy your dad's wedding tomorrow (well today actually - its just gone midnight!)

x

slm6002

Yes ds operation went well and he is back to normal. Dads wedding went well and he seems happy. DD was very happy with her homemade birthday pressies from us which saved us £25 pounds.
I plan to sit down with OH tomorrow night and discuss the following:

Recovery business- is it likely to pick up and be worthwhile
Smoking - cut down / quit
Going out- cut down

And no he hasnt has his lightbulb moment yet
Need to tread carefully as he is very touchy when it comes to money and thinks he is not providing for his family. I will explain that we can cope on this money just as long as it is spent more wisely.

wannabedebtfree_2

Yeah I know that - my OH thinks if I complain about money I am getting at him (he works part time and is the SAHD) but thats not the case, if you tread carefully and say "look - this is how much we have coming in - this is a realistic budget - we can manage if you have £X per week spends instead of £52" reassure him that you know he is doing what he can!!

I don't actually mind about the money that comes into our house, I would just like more support around the house, I need to tackle a different issue with my OH, but its just as awkward!! I get resentful because I do feel that as he only works 13 hours a week he should keep the house in order and do the cooking, in reality he does the washing up 4 days a week and hoovers once in a blue moon, he cooks probably 3 times per month (if that) and thats where my resentment comes from - but as far as he's concerned its me and the kids that make the mess so we should clear it up "I'm not your skivvy" is his words - grrr.....men.....!!!

slm6002

totally understand and yes we have those issues to but from the other perspective. He does expect me to run around behind him tidying every little thing, rather than taking his tea cup to the sink for example. Hope that does not come accross as having a go at you though as i am sure you do your share when your at home

wannabedebtfree_2

I do everything else............LOL............thats why I get resentful!!! I'm not the tidiest of people I admit, but when I work full time and am doing the equivalent of a full time degree on top of it I could just do with some help!!

I do the cooking, washing (he puts a couple loads on sometimes), cleaning, shopping, running the kids round, tidying etc etc etc, the only jobs he does are;

washing up - 4 times a week
mowing the lawn - maybe once a month (if that)
vacuuming - maybe once a week (if that)
washing - maybe 1-2 times per week (if that)

So its very hard for me, the house is getting worse and worse because I am so tired/stressed all the time, and when I have the time to do stuff I just want to relax for a bit!!!

Hope the chat went well

x

slm6002

Well still working on the chat for tonight. So far today i have managed to list everything in freezer and cupboards ready to popover to storecupboard challenge,2 loads of washing which in need to get off the line as now dry. Defrosted one of the freezers whilst logging what was in it. This has been on my todo list for ages which is good.

Am also trying to get some insperation about meals for this weeks meal plan as its shopping day tomorrow so need to get list ready.

missymoo81

men hey!!! I was with a guy for years who thought he'd done his days chores when he made the bed, which would have been fine apart from i worked full time and he worked part time. so very frustrating!!!

And men are funny creatures when it comes to money I've found, if you say anything about maybe needing to cut back and tighten your belts a little bit they think that you are questioning their masculinity?? How so I have no idea, i think it comes from caveman times when the men provided for their wife etc etc.... which is a little outdated in my book!!

they are all pains in the !!!!!s, but we wouldn't be without them.

By the way slm I just read your diary from start to finish, and well done you you've made a massive step just writing a diary, everything soon follows suit. I started my diary last week and everything seems to be falling into place.

Keep your chin up hun

Missy x

slm6002

thanks for that and yes what more can we say but 'men!' will look out for your diary too

slm6002

well oh and i had a talk last night and although not everything is decided on he now knows that we need to start working on the debts.

Smoking is going to be cut down and hopefully stopped by end of next month.
Recovery truck business is just about making money but he will stop doing 'favours' for people and start charging everyone. Will review this in a few months time.
Going out - he will stick to the one night a week unless the pool team is desperate one week but other than that he will not go out.

well i have done a small shop as trying to use stuff in the freezers etc this week.