My husband has really annoyed me

kindofagilr

alwaysworried wrote: »

He isnt very happy and has said I will be working for hardly anything and if its company I need I should do voluntary work !!!!!!

I think he sounds really controlling now, its like he has a problem with you earning your own money for some reason.

As for sorting the childcare out on a friday, they are his kids too, I hope he doesnt forget that

Hopefully there will be an after school club they can attend.

Zazen999

Are you 100% sure he is at golf on a Friday....with his past history?

alwaysworried_2

jenner wrote: »

no, i know you said it in response to someone asking if he needed to do more chores, but you phrased it in a very telling way, you said that he didnt need to d the shopping for YOU. but he wouldnt be doing the shopping for YOU if he did do it, he would be doing it for the family, just like you do it for the family. You said it as if it was YOUR job, it isnt your job, you just happen to do the shopping at the moment. chores are neutral, as a couple you could decide who does what based on practicalities and skill.

so now he's not going to take his child to hospital, what sort of man is he? im sorry, i know he's your husband, you have committed to him and had a family with him but i would show him the door to be honest

Hello again,

Sorry wrong choice of words I used. He doesnt mind doing the shopping, I meant that he wouldnt need to do anymore shopping or chores than he does already.

Sorry to have confused you about that. My head is all over the place at the moment.

To the other posters (sorry cant do multi quotes), There is no after school care for my children.

I have called my mum and told her, and she has basically said if its going to cause me problems at home then I should just not bother taking the job.

Do you know what im in a no win situation here because it doesnt matter what I do im going to be unhappy one way or the other.

alwaysworried_2

Zazen999 wrote: »

Are you 100% sure he is at golf on a Friday....with his past history?

Yes defo, he goes golfing with my dads friends

Floss

Zazen999 wrote: »

Are you 100% sure he is at golf on a Friday....with his past history?

Putting doubt into the OP's mind isn't fair......she has to trust him & believe what he says to give the relationship a fair chance.

Zazen999

Floss wrote: »

Putting doubt into the OP's mind isn't fair......she has to trust him & believe what he says to give the relationship a fair chance.

???

Friday just seems to be an issue....and he seems pretty determined not to miss his golf......

RedBern

Well done on getting a job offer - it's a tough market out there so pat yourself on the back and as others have said, it's a real compliment that a past employer wants you back. You need to negotiate this with your husband - it may be that this has come as a surprise to him and his initial reaction has upset you, but when he's had a chance to think about it, he may think differently?

However, you have a right to go back to work if you want to and if you can - and if that doesn't impact on the childcare arrangements. If it does, then you will have to get something sorted - like asking your husband to do his share. That includes taking his child to hospital appointments! Ask your husband why he is so opposed to you earning money - suggest you could put it away from something special - like a good holiday next year, or just rainy day money - or, if he still sulks, stick it in your FO pot and don't let him see a penny of it!!:rotfl:

Keeping_Motivated

The way I see it is as long as your children are fine and as long as you can cope with family, home and work (which from your post you can) then you are doing no harm.

Do what you want to do. It is not your responsibility how your husband feels about it, its up to him how he handles it, he has choices. You are not going back to work to make him feel bad and you working will only affect him ONE day out of SEVEN and even then it won't be hard, he will get quality time with his children, its a lovely thing seeing your children run to you at the end of a school day.

Let him sulk, tell him calmly that you want to do this and that the family will not be affected other than you being happier and that unless he can come up with a genuinely rational reason for you not to do it then this is something you are going to do. For goodness sake you have not had an affair, you are not asking to go away on a luxury holiday without him for a week, what exactly does he think your crime is?

Don't let him transfer his feelings on to you, you focus on what you felt when you were offered the job, let him wallow in his negativity.

Good luck

Money_maker

Looking at the OPs previous posts, her husband seems to be quite strong in his views.

My DH wasn't too happy when I returned to a small p/t job - 2 evenings a week. He understood, however, that I needed to get out and talk to adults (!), basically get away from running the household and be paid for it as well.

It's really about time you stood up to him. Explain the advantages for you/him and thank him for his support (before he creates again). You should be a team working together not with him bringing you down.

Money_maker

RedBern wrote: »

, stick it in your FO pot and don't let him see a penny of it!!:rotfl:

Err, what a FO pot or is it rude?