Please help want to split but husband wont move out

bestpud

ariba10 wrote: »

Methinks this has been posted before?

Yes, I recognise it too!

Last time it was a 'friend' asking though, wasn't it?

pinkshoes

Why don't you ask him to sell the house, and split the equity (more to you if you will be looking after the kids) so that you can then have plenty of money to rent privately in your chosen area?

When did you buy the house, and how much equity does it have in it?

Pee

If there is no possibility of rebuilding your relationship - and based on what you say about domestic abuse, that doesn't sound likely - speak to a solicitor. You could have an injunction to get him out of the house but if he is really dangerous, you may prefer to move away yourself so that he doesn't know where you are...

viktory

lucysmum wrote: »

Viktory I can see that you clearly have some issue with me (maybe something that happened to you I dont know) but frankly you seem to be aggressing me and I wanted a point in the right direction not grief. For your information I wish to leave my husband for years of domestic abuse which my children are now old enpugh to be affected by.

We bought this house together when we first got together before he started drinking and abusing me. And by the way he spends all his income on on drink so what little I do get goes on the bills and the kids.

He has not spent 'years of hard work' paying for this house - I have spent years trying to keep my family together and I cant take it any more.

I don't even know you. However, I do know that your first post was entirely and totally about you with just a passing mention for the children and then your husband.

For the record, I also don't believe you re the abuse. It just does not ring true in your first post.

Incidentally, how old are your children?

Dinah93

never use the excuse of 'staying for the children', kids aren't dense, they know if mummy and daddy aren't getting along and fighting in front of them is providing them with a template for future relationships.

Start divorce proceedings, and as part of the divorce the financial entitelments will be worked out. While it won't be comfortable living together while getting divorced, sometimes it is easier to let the courts decide who gets what.

purplepardalis

viktory wrote: »

I don't even know you. However, I do know that your first post was entirely and totally about you with just a passing mention for the children and then your husband.

For the record, I also don't believe you re the abuse. It just does not ring true in your first post.

Incidentally, how old are your children?

How can this post be 'Thanked' for being useful? It clearly contains no useful information for anyone

BeenieCat

purplepardalis wrote: »

How can this post be 'Thanked' for being useful? It clearly contains no useful information for anyone

I think the Thanks button is also used as an "I agree" button.

bestpud

purplepardalis wrote: »

How can this post be 'Thanked' for being useful? It clearly contains no useful information for anyone

Many would say it is not useful to start a thread asking how to get one's husband out of the house, while also saying the children need their father, and then later post some claptrap about him being violent.

Here's the thing:

People in abusive relationships do not often tell their OH they want him out and the wait for him to do so!!

Most would not dare say a thing, and would flee with the children to a place if safety. Telling a truly abusive husband you want him out is not something I'd recommend - would you?

If they are together for the sake of the children, then you have to ask why it is better they stay in that house with an abuse the 'children are now old enough to be affected by' [OP's own words], don't you?

Therefore, the OP's post is not at all helpful to women genuinely experiencing domestic violence!

purplepardalis

BeenieCat wrote: »

I think the Thanks button is also used as an "I agree" button.

That's the kind of answer I was after..... Although it does seem to be a blatant abuse of the Thanks system.

I will no longer look at a member's 'Thanks' score as a reliability of their helpfulness.


Sorry OP for hijacking this slightly - whatever situation you are in I hope you have a happier life in the future

hartcjhart

I agree totally with Viktory,if YOU say the marriage is over why the hell should your husband have to be the one to move out,
if you are unhappy you damn well move out:mad: