Please help want to split but husband wont move out

lucysmum_2

Hi please someone help.

After lots of issues I have decided I want to divorce my husband. Its been a long time coming I think, and sadly here we are. We have two children and if I am honest I think I have stayed for them. But things arent good. Another reason was that I always assumed I couldnt manage on my pwn as I have worked part time since having the kids and dont earn very much. I have put my details if I was to leave into entitled to and was very surprised to find out I may be ok. The problem I have got now is, our house is jointly bought and my husband doesnt want to leave. Not for the house but because of the kids. My husbands work is in a nearby town and he drives there but my work and my childrens school and nursery is within a stones throw of the house and I dont see why we should go anywhere (my family are about half an hour away anyway and I dont drive). I really dont know what I can do if anything. I want him to move out and be on my own but obviously the kids need their dad and their needs are absolutely paramount (though you could argue that if he cared THAT much he would have aboided it coming to this ... ) I know I need to seek legal advice but Im just not ready to walk into a solicitors yet.:wall:

viktory

lucysmum wrote: »

Hi please someone help.

After lots of issues I have decided I want to divorce my husband. Its been a long time coming I think, and sadly here we are. We have two children and if I am honest I think I have stayed for them. But things arent good. Another reason was that I always assumed I couldnt manage on my pwn as I have worked part time since having the kids and dont earn very much. I have put my details if I was to leave into entitled to and was very surprised to find out I may be ok. The problem I have got now is, our house is jointly bought and my husband doesnt want to leave. Not for the house but because of the kids. My husbands work is in a nearby town and he drives there but my work and my childrens school and nursery is within a stones throw of the house and I dont see why we should go anywhere (my family are about half an hour away anyway and I dont drive). I really dont know what I can do if anything. I want him to move out and be on my own but obviously the kids need their dad and their needs are absolutely paramount (though you could argue that if he cared THAT much he would have aboided it coming to this ... ) I know I need to seek legal advice but Im just not ready to walk into a solicitors yet.:wall:

So far, my sympathies are with your husband. Where do you expect him to go and live? Who do you want to pay the mortgage once he has left? The taxpayer or him? How old are the children? Have you spoken to them about this?

Personally, if you are unhappy I think you should move out. Why should your husband be expected to walk away from everything he has worked hard for because you have decided it is over?

alwaysonthego_2

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

lucysmum_2

Anyone with some positive advice please?

You dont know the first thing about my husband and why I want a divorce I didnt see the relevance in telling you all the gory details.

When I said on my own I meant with the children

ariba10

Methinks this has been posted before?

viktory

lucysmum wrote: »

Anyone with some positive advice please?

You dont know the first thing about my husband and why I want a divorce I didnt see the relevance in telling you all the gory details.

When I said on my own I meant with the children

If you don't like advice that doesn't pat you on the back and tell you the best way to remove your husband from the home he has spent years paying for, then don't post on a public forum - or at least give all the relevant information.

Failing that go and see a solicitor.

cabbage

Hi

I wish people wouldn't judge on this forum. With all due respect we only get one side of the story so are not in a position to judge and until you are in someone's shoes you can't understand what they are going through - its not always black and white. Rant over now for the advice:

I would have a look at www.advicenow.org.uk they have some excellent factsheets for people in exactly the same situation as you find yourself in. Have a browse around the site and then perhaps get a free 20 min no obligation appointment with a solicitor. Also think about mediation as its a quick way to reach a settlement and spare the kids.

lucysmum_2

Viktory I can see that you clearly have some issue with me (maybe something that happened to you I dont know) but frankly you seem to be aggressing me and I wanted a point in the right direction not grief. For your information I wish to leave my husband for years of domestic abuse which my children are now old enpugh to be affected by.

We bought this house together when we first got together before he started drinking and abusing me. And by the way he spends all his income on on drink so what little I do get goes on the bills and the kids.

He has not spent 'years of hard work' paying for this house - I have spent years trying to keep my family together and I cant take it any more.

lucysmum_2

Thank you Cabbage, thats all I was after, the LAST thing I want is for my kids to be hurt

foxy-roxy

I know you said you dont want to see a solicitor just yet, but if he is refusing to move than that may be your'e only option.
When my mum and dad divorced, my mum ended it, my dad left my mum everything, the house, car, money, and went to live in a friends flat on the settee.
It made me love him so much more for not making the split anymore worse than it could of been.

Good Luck

gizmo111

You need a solicitor but also try www.ondivorce.co.uk where you will get good non-judgemental advice and support.