Husband has baby with other woman?

katiesmummy

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

kaitesmummy what a fighter you are x so glad things have got better for you and your children x:T

thank you.

like i said, i still have bad days but on the whole things are 100x better for all of us.

i really hope the op has come back to read the responses

cookie0803

I have read the responses and thanks everyone for your support. The hardest thing is I still love him even though I don't quite know why, he never ever treated me like I was special, he never took me anywhere nice-he never ever spoiled me or ever just treated me.....I would spend ages thinking of things to do for birthdays, xmas etc and by the time it was my birthdfay he'd fallen out with me and spent it on my own with not even a card. Last xmas he said it was the most boring xmas ever!!! Nothing could ever please him no matter what lengths I went to and I went to him.

I have always been a very apt person, good at most things and my friends say the nicest person-sometimes too nice and yet he made me feel totally useless and a no hoper with no future and no chance of ever finding someone else.

Anyway I haven't heard from him at all now, and I've joined the gym and I start my new job next week, got childcare sorted, been shopping for my new suits and well life can only get better....in 3 months time I'll be back in shape, be settled in my new job and partying with friends and family at xmas and if i'l lucky maybe throw a holiday in .....ah lets hope life begins at 40...only few years away!

thanks all.

BitterAndTwisted

A lot of us have a blind-spot where partners are concerned and some of us gravitate to those who do not necessarily act with our best interests at heart.

I have a friend like that; every single partner that I know of has treated her appallingly and she tolerates it, even though her heart is being broken. These relationships are obviously satisfying a part of her that is not present in the majority of us and it's a terribly hard nut to crack. If I could buy a sack of confidence and self-esteem for her I'd be round the shop before you could say "knife". At present she is a raging alcoholic and she's not even 40 yet.

BeenieCat

cookie don't focus on the fact you love him too much, he doesn't love YOU or he wouldn't treat you like this. Easy to say i know, believe me.

I ask myself every day if what i feel for my ex is love because i say it is; and think it is, but the strongest emotion i have is PAIN - you know - the stabbing feeling that starts in your throat and waves over your whole body. Even when we were happy i never felt such an overwhelming emotion, but he's treat me like crap. Like you said, it came to a point where every special day was ruined, my last 3 birthdays have been spent in tears, and all i wanted to do was make him happy enough to stay with me!!

Of course, i can only sympathise with you rather than offer any kind of support, because i'm trapped in those feelings too and want him back!!

But seriously, what this man has done to you is pure evil, nobody deserves that.

ells888

tomorrow would be my 4th wedding anniversary, but my ex and i seperated 2 years ago. we split because he had another (well several actually!!) woman, 2 months after we split i found out during our marriage he had fathered another baby, up until this point i honestly believed we would sort things cause i loved him so much. This was a total turning point for me ... i saw him for what he was (couldnt possibly swear on here, but am sure you all know what i mean!!)... i havent looked back since this day. You need to get shut , and believe me you will prob have a couple of crappy months but you will never look back xxx sending ya loads of hugggs xxx

fantasia322

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/wrongandright.htm

Cookie I couldnt read ur 1st post because its been deleted, have read right through the thread though, and this is more about whats been happening to you NOW than your husband having a baby with another woman. Please read the link, take notice of what the other OP's say and start putting y ourself and your child 1st. Please,

katiesmummy

BeenieCat wrote: »

katiesmummy that's unbelievable what you've been through, and it's a disgrace how many people get away with this abuse.

I mean, go to the pub and clobber someone you're almost guaranteed a night in the cells, but mentally and physically abuse someone in their own home for years and nothing I know you said he went to prison but it obv didn't stop it happening

i found out quite late into our relationship that i wasn't the first gf he had done this to- he was in prison before for abh on an ex.

the sentences he got both times for attacking me were piddling- the longest was 18 weeks (he served 9), then he was released and things would be right back to where we started.

i loved him so much that i used to pray that he would change- in the end i had to accept that it was never gonna happen. i do still love him, but i know that i can never EVER be with him again.

incidentally, he got with another woman immediately after i left- 7 weeks into the relationship he tried to set fire to her while she was in her car :eek:

Mely

Very,very moving posts on this thread, they have brought me to tears, you ladies are so brave!
You must never,ever go back to those men (if you can call them men!). For your own sakes, and especially if you have children. Because believe me i know that the children will be the ones to suffer mentally and physically if you go back ! I went through it my whole childhood because my mum wouldnt leave my abusive father. He was mentally abusive, and physically violent. He was very charming outside of the house, and was a very popular and respected man in our community. But behind closed doors it was hell! I was always passing out at school or in the shop because he was punching me on my head. I always usually had a bruise or bump somewhere.
He once made me and my mum get out of our car when i was 5, as he said we were talking about him! My mum had to ring to ask if we could come home as it was getting dark, and we had nowhere to go. He said 'yes, but the house is a mess'. He had trashed the living room..smashed everything and even thrown food up the walls! He once threw a ball i was playing with in the fire, and when i started to have guitar lessons he stamped on the guitar, end of my lessons.
I could write a book about what we went through, but im just glad that ive come through it with no lasting physical injuries, or worse. The mental scars take a lifetime (if ever) to get over though.
Dont let this happen to your children
Love & hugs to you all,
Mel xxXxx

DeeDee74

cookie hun u are much better off without him.
yes it is hard when u love them, and u want things to work and think thay can possible change. but believe it's very few who actually do..


i know i spent 5 years with someone i did really love, he was lovelly at first as thay all are. but i lost count of the nasty comment's threat's and times he beat me up. he really was a nasty peace of work.
truethfully i only left after one serious incident,the police were fab to me he was well know to them as a local criminal and drug taker.
i have my police photo's still. if im having a bad time i pull them out and think how glad im not living like that anymore, and how much ive changed as a person.

hopefully we learn by these things if nothing else...
wish u luck hun x x

savvy

katiesmummy wrote: »

incidentally, he got with another woman immediately after i left- 7 weeks into the relationship he tried to set fire to her while she was in her car :eek:

Evil, pure evil!!! You were lucky there. I considered going to the national papers to put a warning out to other women about my psycho ex, so they wouldn't go through what I had, but I just didn't think they would listen. For ages after we split I kept a bucket of water under the letter box, just in case.

I was relieved when he finally stopped ringing me in the night and found another girl, but then I felt bad for her. Weirdly though, it turned out she knew a friend of mine and he asked me if I would speak to her because she had suspicicons about my ex..............I gladly put her straight and she said she it was early days and she was going to put a stop to it.............thankfully she was far more together than I was when I met him :rolleyes: