Husband has baby with other woman?

cookie0803

Could you cope with it?

lynzpower

Can you explain to us why you repeatedly tell us you love this guy? Whats good about him??

shellsuit

I think you're mad to put up with all that!

He sounds like a complete and utter selfish, ignorant, arrrrrshole!

The baby isn't the problem, he is.

lynzpower

Ive re read this again. I I fear for you.

Quite frankly none of this would have happened in my world.

I would have had a proper white wedding based on 100% trust and true love. I would be surrounded by freinds and family for a full on knees up.

My OH wouldnt go cheating on me. With anyone.

My OH would not force a 17 year old girl to have a termination

My OH wouldnt be happy about his child not lasting to term. My OH woulsd not "blame me" he would be overjoyed that he was going to be a daddy.

My OH would not verbally abuse me after having a miscarriage

My OH would not verbally abuse me till i was so worn down I was too ground down to fight back

My OH would not stop speaking to his sister who got pregnant! He would want to be around and a hands on Uncle to give the child guidance/fun/ elationship/ positive role models etc.

He swears at me in front of our son and everytime he sees our son I end up in floods of tears and ill. He makes me feel like everything is my fault.

Darling you are abeing abused and you should probably try to speak to Womens aid for support. This is really not OK, other women simply dont get treated like this.

You deserve better, you just need to believe it.

morocha

I feel sorry for you, big hugs, i do not think he deserves you, he never will.... life goes on, try to focus in bringing up your children, make the most of what you have now.
what about the children ? do u see their dad ?

mummy_Jay

You sound very scared and confused.

From what you have said this man has lied to you, cheated on you and abused you verbally.

Do you really want this man to influence your son into believing this is the appropriate way to treat women, as they just accept it?

You deserve a healthy relationship, and your son deserves to know what one is.

But you and your boy first.

Dancing_Shoes

Please please do not take this man back!!

This man's verbal abuse (and yes it is a valid form of abuse:mad:) is wrecking your self belief and pulling your life towards the gutter where he obviously lives his life. Irrespective of the other child involved you have yourself and 5 children to consider and he is never going to be the wonderful husband/partner you deserve. He doesn't deserve your love, concentrate and yourself and the children. Sort out access and maintenence from him regarding your son and move on with your life. You will one day meet someone who is deserving of your love and you will wonder what you ever saw in this creep:mad:

Ali1501

get rid!!

he's scum!

gremlin

cookie0803 wrote: »

I love him but I think to get back together now would mean a lifetime of suffering, what do you think?

Please read and re-read what you have said as many times as it takes for it to get through to you what you have endured at the hands of this man.

You say you love him, WHY? He abuses you, plays you off against another, has cheated on you, lies to you and blames you for his short-comings.

This is emotional abuse. I understand you are worn down so much you want it all to just get better, this is what they do. He is an ABUSER, his love for you is worthless and he just wants to control you.

Cookie, if you take him back I promise you he will not change, he will continue to mistreat you. Listen to what the others have said. Please please google help for domestic abuse and talk to these people. Get help to be strong, then you will see this relationship for what it really is.

Good luck

cookie0803

I have been very confused for a long time now....the other day he called me fat pig, fat swine, fat c*nt, !!!!!, harlot, slag, hooker etc said i repulsed him....all because he had been through my handbag and found a flight ticket with a mans name on...I went London a few weekends ago on a charity event with friends and the guy who run the charity bought the tickets...however he went to notting hill festival and who knows what he does given his track records....i wouldn't mind most weekends i spend waiing around to take our son to see him and end up missing things i'm invited to. This weekend a perfect exmaple, i got asked to go camping with a friend and another friend asked me round for a drink sat night....what was I doing? seeing him and being verbally abused and accused!!!

As for my first ex huband we had an ammicable split and were friends....until he met another woman and become bitter, would not see his kids more than one night a week, never took them on holiday and would not contribute financially. It took 2 years to get anywhere with CSA, I had one payment and then he left his job...he now works PT self employed and money goes through his soon to be wife so CSA cant touch him. I even offered that i wouldn't go CSA or ask for money if he just had them in school holidays a few weeks a year....hs answer was no he didn't have resources for that...as it stands his GF has alienated the girls and they won't go at all now.

Its been so difficult dealing with all of this and my other ex as the kids have of course been taking things out on me.

I was so scared of him though the other day when he was shouting at me cos he assumed I had another man....the truth is the last thing I want right now is another man and further complications....I just want to get back to how I used to be before all of this mess...3 stone lighter, happy, fun, confident and full of life..

lynzpower

I was so scared of him though the other day when he was shouting at me cos he assumed I had another man....the truth is the last thing I want right now is another man and further complications....I just want to get back to how I used to be before all of this mess...3 stone lighter, happy, fun, confident and full of life..

Being scared is no fun.

What do you want to do next?

MSE will give you loads of support, you dont need to be alone, we are all here for you xx