Husband has baby with other woman?

myothercarisaferrari

Cookie, you story sounds like my mother's.

My dad has 4 kids - two with my mum and two with other women. The first was born within a year of marrying my mum and the second two years before they split up.

He blamed her for and she believed it. My mum went into self destruct and didnt eat, didnt sleep and almost lost her job. At 17, I was working two jobs and doing my Alevels, tring to find money to pay the mortgage and pay bills, all the time worrying I would come to find my mother dead. I did this for 7 months solid until I broke down in the 6th form common room as someone drank my cup of tea.:rolleyes:

After reading your post, I hope for your sake and more so your children's, I hope you leave the b8st8rd and take him for all he is worth. You say you love him, but do you love youself and your children more?

If you take him back now, it won't end. It will continue and get worse and he will think it is acceptable to treat you the way he does.

Women are strong creatures, but it will be the children who suffer with a lazy, unreliable ar5ehole of a father (and trust me I know this).

I suspect the women who write threads like I love my husband but...read the advice and don't take it.

Sorry x

myothercarisaferrari

Just read your next post. Wow Cookie what a charmer you have there x

Deestar36

I'm not sure what it is you're scared of - being on your own perhaps, not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel? Trust me that's a natural feeling and you will get through this. You do NOT need this man in your life; you are so much more without him - your email proves that. You have feelings - he clearly doesn't. Concentrate on you and your children, be the strong person you are without him - your children will see that of you and will grow up to see what a scum bag he really is (without you giving them any input) - trust me, I've been there and witnessed it with my own eyes. BE STRONG, YOU DON'T NEED THIS MAN !!!
xx

BeenieCat

You are obviously scarred by the way you've been treated, and understandably so.

I have just split with my ex but what he's done is nothing compared to this. He won't change, ever. The only way for you to stop being unhappy is to make positive steps to become stronger.

See your GP and ask to be referred for counselling, learn that you don't deserve to be treat this way.

Personally i could never ever forgive him for this, it's disgusting. Your children deserve a life without a role model like this and you will do a better job alone, and your kids will love you even more than they already do when they're older and understand how amazing you are for raising them alone despite what you've been through.

worriedsik

Cookie

He is an abuser & wont change you are the only person that can make a change ! as long as you accept what he is doing ( and you are ) he will keep doing it please make a new life for you and your son or you will be abused for as long as you stay in this and if you dont want to consider yourself then consider the children.
he sounds like a controll freak who has insecurities you deserve so much better than this
The lies about his new baby alone is horendous ! what a pratt

pinkshoes

You love him because it's force of habit. You no doubt love the person you THOUGHT he was, not the scum bag he actually is.

Walk away from this horrible man, and do NOT look back.

From what you write, this man is destroying your self esteem and confidence, and the only way you will ever get it back is my making sure he stays out of your life.

Regarding his child, you should set up contact via one of those contact centres, which will supervise him playing with the child. That way he won't do anything silly like run off with the child, and you will never have to be in the room alone with him.

tsstss7

Ali1501 wrote: »

get rid!!

he's scum!

like he said

PrincessPlaty

Cookie, please listen to lynzpower and all the others.

I have been there and with the help of everyone on MSE and lynzpower especially i got through it and came out on the other side.

You dont deserve to be treated this way, please dont put up with it for any longer for yourself and your childs sake.

Its one of the hardest things in the world to do but once you have done it you will feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders.

Sending you lots of hugs xxx

paddy's_mum

I've said it before but I'll say it again.

There is only one question. Which person is the innocent and deserves your love, protection and loyalty - your husband or your son .... ?

Okay, you've thought about the answer .. so your only way forward is now clear to you, isn't it? Good luck - there is a world out there clean of this kind of filth.

Rockporkchop

Please stop letting this excuse for a man treat you like a doormat.

If any friend of yours was going through the same thing and had sent you the emails you have written, you know exactly what you would say to her.

You know you have to erase this man from your life so do it immediately.