At my wits end and don't know what to do

Shoe_Gal

What a kind and thoughtful post - I hope it is read - and helps

WASHER

Excellent post sp1987, my other concern is what happens if one of the children are sick after the au pair leaves in 3 months time? You cannot send your sick child to a childminder and with 4 children you are going to have sick children more than most. I'm not saying this to put you off going to uni, I admire anyone wanting to further their career prospects, but its something you are going to have to address.

As someone else said in a previous post, you have more questions than answers, please cherrypie, come back and with the help of the peeps on this board we will try and help you with solutions to your many questions.

sp1987

WASHER wrote: »

Excellent post sp1987, my other concern is what happens if one of the children are sick after the au pair leaves in 3 months time? You cannot send your sick child to a childminder and with 4 children you are going to have sick children more than most. I'm not saying this to put you off going to uni, I admire anyone wanting to further their career prospects, but its something you are going to have to address.

As someone else said in a previous post, you have more questions than answers, please cherrypie, come back and with the help of the peeps on this board we will try and help you with solutions to your many questions.

With 4 children you are going to have periods of sick children too...as they all no doubt contract their ailments from one another! One may be off for two days with a cold then it filters through to the other three. Before the op knows it she has spent a week off in a house of screwed up andrex! Not a problem if the childcare is at home, i.e. mum or dad (even an au pair), you can just leave the illnesses to work their way through everyone. What happens if mum then gets ill, she may have to stay off due to the sensitivity of the pregnant women (I have a cold at the moment and feel practically immobile, lol). At least in a non nhs degree/career you can just go and infect everyone you mix with guilt free!

kittiej

Excellent last few posts, much better than I can put it anyway :rotfl:

Mind you if RAS couldn't convince cherrypie then I don't think that we will be able to either unfortunately.

You don't need to do everything now. There are things that can wait and I think you are getting in the way of yourself.

You have asked for help on here and other boards but I don't think the advice you've had is what you want to hear is it? Then again I'm not sure you make sound judgements either otherwise you wouldn't have £26k of debt.

One of the skills involved in being an effective learner is the ability to listen, and this is not just studying that I refer to it's in life as well. Only you can open your eyes and ears.

Right that out of the way, have you been on the old style board to see where you can cut back? If you have, have you drawn up any sort of plan?

What about transport for uni? How is this working out? Could you car share at all?

We will all support and help the best that we can but it is up to you And your DH to utilise the advice.

Trollfever

Apologies if I have missed it, but have the debt issues actually been addressed?

WASHER

No, they haven't, it seems most of the discussion is on the uni course and the OP hasn't even mentioned the extent of her debts in this thread, I found an SOA on another thread.

I do hope cherrypie comes back, WE WANT TO HELP YOU CHERRY, I'll look in again later to see if she has posted.

Fortheloveofmoney

RAS tried to help on the other thread but was also met with the same attitude and gave up.

One of the difficulties is that the OP doesn't know how much her bursary will be. Without knowing how much is coming in, it's difficult to advise on what to do.

Trollfever

One of the difficulties is that the OP doesn't know how much her bursary will be.

My understanding is that a bursary is to cover the costs of further education, not to pay off existing debts.

Fortheloveofmoney

Yes that's true however it is my understanding they also cover some living costs. RAS explains it very well on the thread containing the SOA.

cherrypie556

Trollfever wrote: »

Apologies if I have missed it, but have the debt issues actually been addressed?

No they haven't. That is what I wanted help with not people telling me that uni is not an option. No matter what anyone says, (and yes I know you are trying to help and advise) but we will be better off with me going to uni. The bursary i will get each month is money we aren't recieving now. If I was to take a year out then we would still be in this mess and still going to have childcare issues to deal with regardless as my youngest is only just 2! Why should i wait another year, it's another year of struggling, another year further away for me qualifying and another year of me being stuck in a house feeling like both my mentality and brain function is wasting away!

Why are people quick to say that how will i cope with sick kids etc, do you not realise i have spent the last 4 years thinking and going over everything to make my dream possible, i have thought of this iam not some dumb woman who is so thick she doesn't think of all this. You are all making me feel angry because you all think im stupid and thoughtless and think i haven't thought anything through. I have, i'm constantly thinking about it, I think about it all every day. My kids are my world and the are the most important thing in my life. I wouldn't be doing this if i thought i couldn't cope or i didn't have back up plans. But this was not the original post, not what I asked guidence on etc. I am starting uni in 2 weeks time and then after xmas the kids will go to a childminder. I feel like im repeating myself so much!

Now, my OP was about my debts, I wanted advice and guidence on them only. I have an appointment with the CAB on wed and one with the CCCS on the 29th.

The car is fixed, MIL gave us the money for that. I hope to car share once i enrol but atm I do not know where anyone is from and if anyone is local. DH is plastering the loft tomorrow and the only thing left to do is decorate and get carpets, which can wait.

Sorry if people think their advice is falling on deaf ears but you are all disscussing something which i haven't an issue with. My debts was the issue not uni.