At my wits end and don't know what to do

QueenBeruthiel

Where is the au pair coming from? Abroad? I assume so as can't imagine anyone in this country working for £70 pw. Do you also expect her to take the older children to school, and collect them? That seems a huge amount of work for pocket money wages. I do not want to be negative, but I think you should be realistic here, and get a Plan B in place just in case the au pair isn't up for all this and does a bunk - she's not even got a bed to sleep in! You are putting a lot of faith in an unknown quantity.

dancingfairy

If you are going for a DMP I would write to all your creditors , explaining you are getting help from CCCS and sending them 1 pound, then use the money to pay the essentials ie to buy food etc.
Yes it will trash your credit rating but if you are going to do a dmp then it will be trashed anyway.
It would help to do a SOA for now and one for the future in terms of finances etc to see where you stand.
df

whitewing

£70 + board and lodging for a 25 hour week follows Home Office guidelines for au pairs. They are in it mainly to improve their English and get experience of our culture. I have had au pairs in the past and it has generally been a great experience. I wouldn't employ an au pair for under 5's, but that's my own viewpoint - you are certainly allowed to do so. Being an au pair is a real adventure for a young person, and great for your own children to gain an understanding of different cultures etc.

dancingfairy

Can your DH get a part time/full time job? and then fit the other jobs in around the fixed work? I appreciate that may not be what he wants to do but if work is that scarce at the moment?
df

QueenBeruthiel

whitewing wrote: »

£70 + board and lodging ..

"Board and lodging" implies a bed to sleep in - problem!

I'll say no more. I hope it works out.

DCFC79

dancingfairy wrote: »

Can your DH get a part time/full time job? and then fit the other jobs in around the fixed work? I appreciate that may not be what he wants to do but if work is that scarce at the moment?
df

I think what fairy says is important, as teh work is drying then your DH should start looking for a part time job or full time, try th job centre website, jobs section in the local paper, have you listed the outgoings for things like tv, internet, landline as you can get a cheap bundle from sky/virgin for all 3, is there anything you could sell on ebay, just some ideas cherrypie

Toto

Can you ebay enough stuff to buy a bed from somewhere cheaply? Tesco have had some great offers on beds recently.

I am also going to uni in 2 weeks on a midwifery course and yes it is tough to get onto but they can defer for a year if things get impossible. You will have a guaranteed place in 2010. I realise you don't want to do that.

Have you got your bursary? Do you know how much you will be getting? I don't yet, the uni forgot to send my bur99 so it all got delayed. As your hubby is on a low income you should get a decent award.

Toto

Also, if your husband isn't doing so well with the self employed work, could you not think about him being Mr Mum and staying at home full time with the kids? at least for a short while until things pick up and you have your funding all through and can afford to finish the loft and buy a bed?

kissjenn

whitewing wrote: »

£70 + board and lodging for a 25 hour week follows Home Office guidelines for au pairs. They are in it mainly to improve their English and get experience of our culture. I have had au pairs in the past and it has generally been a great experience. I wouldn't employ an au pair for under 5's, but that's my own viewpoint - you are certainly allowed to do so. Being an au pair is a real adventure for a young person, and great for your own children to gain an understanding of different cultures etc.

CherryPie following on from Whitewing's post above and the concerns of QB please think long and hard about what you appear to be asking an au pair to.

Firstly she's likely to be very young and away from home for the first time, maybe a new country and language as well. You are inviting her into your home in a weeks time and you don't have a bed for her and will have to move yourself or ,as some have suggested, her into an unfinished loft conversion. One which may not have the appropriate building regs or signoff and therefore be classed as unfit and dangerous.

Secondly, you are about to embark on a 2 year Uni level course which will involve 12 hour shifts, weekend working and copious amounts of studying. You will not consider defering. At home your au pair will then be expected, as you have no other childcare, to take care of 4 children under 7 for periods of up to and over 12 hours.

Thirdly, you husband is desperately looking for work to keep all this afloat. He will I imagine be out of the house for long periods. He will be unavailable to drop off and pick up children from school regularly if working.

Fourthly, you are painting a picture of an au pair effectively working 60+ hours per week assuming your husband is home 2 days a week. Somewhere in all this the basics of shopping, cooking, washing etc need to fit in.

If you want to make this work on a practical level - forget finances for a munite - I suggest you sit down and create a huge timeline for the period from now until Christmas and factor in every event you know about.

• School Dates and times for each child.
• Drs, dentists, hosital appointments.
• Au pair holidays.
• Jobs your hubby has contracted to do.
• Uni times and dates.

Create 7 lines on a piece of paper (Excel is better) and days and times above.

So on Monday 28th September from 8am - noon (for example)

• Mum - Uni
• Dad - Work
• Child 1 - School Holiday
• Child 2 - School Holiday
• Child 3 - Home
• Child 4 - Doctor
• Au Pair - Home

Now you know that you or hubby has to take Child 4 to Dr and you have to go in late or he does. Doing a master plan will let everyone know where they are meant to be (useful when they're a bit older). If the kids have any activities swimming lessons, tumble tots etc they all need to be added in.

What you want is achievable but you need to understand the logistics of it all and if you have only 25hrs of Au Pair be very selective about where you use her AND have a backup plan ready.

HTH

barbie_babe

Hi I am a student Mental Health Nurse. (Just about to start my third year). I have four children and my husband had to give up being self employed for me to go to uni. (This is fine bursary people agreed to this when we rang up and asked if he could do this.)
We get normal bursary (500 a month I think your bursary is the same) and we get extra as he is staying at home. I think its called dependants allowance which bumps up our month bursary to 970 pounds we also get 188 a week tax credits (that’s for four children) and 230 a month child benefit. Also any children at school get free school dinners.

I think you might be wise for your husband to become the full time carer (cancel au pair) if the money you get coming in dosnt cover outgoings. Look into cutting everything you have to pay for to the min. If you still have problems maybe selling the car that not working and anything you can get your hands on may work and use the working van for just yourself to go to uni and placements.

I know this won’t help you to get food for this week but might help in the long run.
Hope you are all ok and this helps you.