At my wits end and don't know what to do

Jo_R_2

Hey

I have been following this post with interest as we have a lot of parallels!

I have three kids aged 5, 3 and 6 months - the last one being a bit of a surprise (as much as they can be!) I had decided I wanted to study midwifery but wanted DD2 (the 3-year-old) to be at school... Which she definitely will be now but baby coming along means he will be just shy of preschool age when I plan to start (all going to plan obviously!) I need to work through 2 years of Open University first to get up to scratch with my science, but also I wanted to knock more of my debt on the head as the last thing I wanted was to be struggling with loan repayments on a student bursary.

I'm slightly unclear about your debts and what you want to do as regards them... Will the bursary cover the repayments you need to be making if your DH's work dries up again?

I will say that I have studied to Master's level previously whilst working full-time and that was a struggle - and that was BEFORE I had kids so in a way I'm dreading it because I know it will be hard... I remember working 7am-5pm, coming home then doing uni work 7pm to 3am and then starting again... Luckily what got me through was the fact I *love* studying, and now, like you, I can balance out the massively hard slog I know will be before me with the fact I can't wait for my brain to be active again, so I completely understand that.

I do think you need to get financial plans in place for the sake of your peace of mind just in case DH has trouble with work drying up again - you really don't want to be struggling with so much else to contend with.

I admire your determination - just don't be blind to what *might* happen - lay plans in place - I know you've spent ages thinking about how you're going to do this - have you addressed how you got into debt so you can avoid the pitfalls again?

ZarZar1990

No advice, just good luck to offer.
and if you posted a full SOA with your uni bursary included people might see you'd be better off
Everyone just wants to help honest.
Also check out the board for small every day tips to help cut day-to-day spends
xxx

Nargleblast

When I did nurse training about ten years ago my bursary was around £5000. It probably won't have gone up that much but with dependents you can sometimes get extra help. I do remember knowing what my bursary was going to be several weeks before starting the course so I am surprised you haven't be advised yet. Mind you, my training was done in a different part of the country, and systems are different from one place to the next.

wigglebeena

cherrypie556 wrote: »

No they haven't. That is what I wanted help with not people telling me that uni is not an option.

Did anyone say that? Did I miss someone saying that?

cherrypie556

Thanks for those nice words Jo. Nargle, I don't know what my bursary is because I haven't applied for it yet. I can't apply for it because we need DH's accounts which are still at the accountants. We collect them in 2 weeks as she is off this week.

If DH's work dries up again (fingers crossed it doesn't) then he will just have to sign on whilst he looks for other employment and this means he will be at home so no childcare.

The debts are just short of 24k, we have checked with one of our loans and it is 2k smaller than we thought so thats good (in a way lol) They are all from about 7 years ago when we got married, got a car and moved into our first home which needed completly furnishing. As some do, we took out loans to clear the CC but then things happened (cant remeber what now) and we ended up using them again. (yes i know...) We did start snowballing and got a 0% CC but ended up been late with a payment so that got scrapped, we also cleared that partic CC but then MIL had the baliffs round demanding £1200 for council tax arrears which she asked us to help with I said no, DH didn't. She pays min amount each month so thats going up, although she is meant to be paying the interest as well. I still am fuming with DH for doing this as his mother never learns and she had been warned numerous times that the baliffs were coming but chose to ignore. We have 2 loans which will be both cleared in 2 1/2 yrs and according the the NHS bursary calc, we should be entitled to 11k, but i don't hold out much hope for that! lol

bunny999

Your husband won't be entitled to JSA (cont based as he is self employed). He won't be entitled to means tested as they will take your bursury into account.

the_cat

cherrypie556 wrote: »

If DH's work dries up again (fingers crossed it doesn't) then he will just have to sign on whilst he looks for other employment and this means he will be at home so no childcare.

But that would mean you would lose the space with the childminder. No-one is going to be happy to keep places open for your children unpaid

penny.pincher_6

I can see everyone's points here, however I also know that with some things in life you just can't keep waiting for a perfect time to do it, as that may never come - I think what OP is doing is taking a leap of faith, and I believe that's what most great achievers in life have done at some point!

My husband and I have had similar situations with studying - I finished my undergraduate degree at 39 weeks pregnant with our first child and my husband only in part time work (he was obviously looking for better) and for the last6 weeks of my pregnancy we had NOTHING as I couldn't apply for benefits (I was still technically a student until I graduated) and I didn't qualify for SMP because I had done a one year placement so hadn't paid any NI contributions for that year (the only year I had EVER not paid them!!) But we muddled through with the faith that it would get better. My husband then did a PGCE, which again left us struggling badly in the weeks we waited for grants/bursaries etc to come through, and the year he started teaching (2 years ago) he also started a masters in leadership (even though everyone, including me told him he was crazy to do).

As a result of it all he just started a job as head of faculty which will finally put us in a position to get debts cleared rather than the constant feeling of treading water. I know if we'd worked everything out on paper to see if we were able to do it all the results would have been a resounding NO, but we took a leap of faith, and while we're no means out of debt, we at least both now have better earning power and I will never regret that we went for it.

Best of luck with midwifery!!

supersavershal

from your posts on another thread i see you are only starting your course now.you have 3 really difficult years ahead of you.my SIL is in her 2nd year and has a great childcare and financial set up, she is struggling with the demanding workload, shifts and guilt about not spending time with her babies.i dont think you will cope, you wont last 6 months.you are not considering the impact on your family, and like i said previously not many vacancies if and when you qualify.

supersavershal

penny.pincher wrote: »

I can see everyone's points here, however I also know that with some things in life you just can't keep waiting for a perfect time to do it, as that may never come - I think what OP is doing is taking a leap of faith, and I believe that's what most great achievers in life have done at some point!

My husband and I have had similar situations with studying - I finished my undergraduate degree at 39 weeks pregnant with our first child and my husband only in part time work (he was obviously looking for better) and for the last6 weeks of my pregnancy we had NOTHING as I couldn't apply for benefits (I was still technically a student until I graduated) and I didn't qualify for SMP because I had done a one year placement so hadn't paid any NI contributions for that year (the only year I had EVER not paid them!!) But we muddled through with the faith that it would get better. My husband then did a PGCE, which again left us struggling badly in the weeks we waited for grants/bursaries etc to come through, and the year he started teaching (2 years ago) he also started a masters in leadership (even though everyone, including me told him he was crazy to do).

As a result of it all he just started a job as head of faculty which will finally put us in a position to get debts cleared rather than the constant feeling of treading water. I know if we'd worked everything out on paper to see if we were able to do it all the results would have been a resounding NO, but we took a leap of faith, and while we're no means out of debt, we at least both now have better earning power and I will never regret that we went for it.

Best of luck with midwifery!!

Well done you, but OP has 4 children under seven to bring up, she can do this when they are at school.she is not considering her families needs.i work in health- she wont cope!