At my wits end and don't know what to do

supersavershal

ZiggyStardust wrote: »

Goodness me. So bettering herself by having a career isn't going to help her children?! Never mind being a positive role model to her children by working hard to get a good job. And as for saying there is 'no guarantee she'll get a job', isn't this an issue many of us face within different professions? I have a friend who went into a profession that was heavily over subscribed but she got offered a job at the place where she had a placement (within the NHS). It can depend on the part of the country you live in, personal experience, making positive impressions at placements and making contacts.

Ok, the point about parents evenings, school plays etc...what would the problem be if the father was able to make these? Would there be an argument if it was the MAN doing this course?? :rolleyes: Alot of mothers have to work long hours and shifts and can't always be there for these things no matter how hard they try or want to. I find the whole guilt trip put on some working mothers offensive and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

How ridiculas are you trying to turrn this into a sexist row? I am a working woman for gods sake, i have 2 children.
Lots of mums (LIKE ME) do work long hoursand shifts like you say but dont have to do the theory of a full time degree course on top.
Guilt trip? stop causing trouble by instigating rows.

I have done the course, have you?
I am helping my SIL do this course, she has a watertight set up and no debt.
I teach on this course, do you.
I am offering the OP the benefit of my experience, isnt that what the forum is for? Or should i pretend it will be ok to keep the thread in lala lad?

This course is not the same as other degree courses.

Mrs_Ryan

I know how hard it is to get on one of these courses - I've done it. I've also been in the situation where I had pressure not to start the course - I went ahead and did it.
I hate to point out, but what the OP actually said is that she would be worse off without starting the course so where's the justification in her staying home for another year? I work in nursing and note in my nursing mags that there is an awful shortage of midwives and that is impacting on the care of women giving birth.
On my course there were lots of women who were juggling doing the course with the care of small children and some with small children and elderly parents or relatives to care for and they were the ones who did the best and from what I hear got the best jobs at the end. Students with dependents are well supported financially and at the end of the course OP will be in the position to obtain a well-paid job to support them.
From what I hear that 'no guarantee that any midwifery student will get a job' is rubbish. Midwifery and learning disability nursing are the few areas of nursing that are desperate for staff - and like I say I work in the NHS so I do get to hear what's going on with stuff like this. I've just put 'midwife' into NHS jobs and it came up with 136 jobs - most of which had more than one post available so to say there are no jobs is ridiculous.
Yes, OP appreciates it will not be easy for her, but I think some people have been a bit judgemental. She isnt being selfish - she wants to give her kids a better life and further herself and whats so wrong with that?

pelirocco

supersavershal wrote: »

her family suffer whilst she does lates, earlies, nights, weekends, holidays, and degree level coursework for 3 yrs.How on earth is that condusive to family liffe.who will take children to first day at school, parents evening, school play, birthdays, christmmas day?
Like you said she is "bettering herself" her family will suffer and there is no gaurantee she will get a job.

We all do what we have to do , if this was a man would you have the same criticisms? her oh will be there .
The children will cope, we cant always be there for every moment of their lives. ,

supersavershal

cherrypie556 wrote: »

You might not be able to copeand your sil obviously cannot but i can. I have already done 2 yrs full time at college and coped remarkably well thankyou and i did that whilst heavily pregnant with my 4th. If you have nothing constructive or nice to say the please just p** off! also i would get you to tell ur SIl that she can't cope and she is making a huge mistake. See if she continues to talk to you. Spiteful!

I cope fine i work part time, am doing my masters and I am always here for my family.The college course is not comparable to the degree course its much harder.
My SIL has coped very well but is human and worries about her babies who are looked after by dad, grandparents and me.she does not have debt.
What i posted was constructive, its just not what you want to hear.as a student midwife you will need too be able to take critisism (it is on your paperwork your mentors will need sign you off on that.)
Anyway with the attitude shown here im not sure you are suited to the caring proffession.

the_cat

supersavershal wrote: »

Anyway with the attitude shown here im not sure you are suited to the caring proffession.

OUCH! A tad harsh!:rolleyes:

The OP has definately exhibited signs of 'attack is the best form of defense' and I agree with you about the difficulties she faces in choosing this move, but personal attacks on a total stranger based on frustration do you as little credit as it does her

supersavershal

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

I know how hard it is to get on one of these courses - I've done it. I've also been in the situation where I had pressure not to start the course - I went ahead and did it.
I hate to point out, but what the OP actually said is that she would be worse off without starting the course so where's the justification in her staying home for another year? I work in nursing and note in my nursing mags that there is an awful shortage of midwives and that is impacting on the care of women giving birth.
On my course there were lots of women who were juggling doing the course with the care of small children and some with small children and elderly parents or relatives to care for and they were the ones who did the best and from what I hear got the best jobs at the end. Students with dependents are well supported financially and at the end of the course OP will be in the position to obtain a well-paid job to support them.
From what I hear that 'no guarantee that any midwifery student will get a job' is rubbish. Midwifery and learning disability nursing are the few areas of nursing that are desperate for staff - and like I say I work in the NHS so I do get to hear what's going on with stuff like this. I've just put 'midwife' into NHS jobs and it came up with 136 jobs - most of which had more than one post available so to say there are no jobs is ridiculous.
Yes, OP appreciates it will not be easy for her, but I think some people have been a bit judgemental. She isnt being selfish - she wants to give her kids a better life and further herself and whats so wrong with that?

Sorry but you are wrong, students with children on my module with children acheive lower marks and have more time off.Last group of 18 to qualify only 12 got postes where they trained,4 moved to get jobs, and 2 are banking as hcas.6 dropped out or were deffered.

supersavershal

the_cat wrote: »

OUCH! A tad harsh!:rolleyes:

The OP has definately exhibited signs of 'attack is the best form of defense' and I agree with you about the difficulties she faces in choosing this move, but personal attacks on a total stranger based on frustration do you as little credit as it does her

You are correct, im sorry.

supersavershal

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

-.'ve just put 'midwife' into NHS jobs and it came up with 136 jobs - most of which had more than one post available so to say there are no jobs is ridiculous.

But only 1 job in teeesside, for band 5-6, so would need to compete with experienced midwives.
If you work in nhs you will know a shortage does not mean recruitment, god ive never worked in an nhs hospital that hasnt had a shortage of staff!

QueenBeruthiel

Perhaps we should all take a deep breath and a step back?

The OP is clearly determined to do this course which we all seem to agree will be extraordinarily difficult course (as compared to the usual type of course) but will lead to a rewarding career.

The car is fixed; there is a futon and hopefully a room, for the au pair. This is forward progress.

If the course looks like it will begin before the husband's "books" are signed off by his accountant - the OP might be advised to approach the appropriate department at the uni and explain the predicament - which can hardly be unique. They should be able to advise.

supersavershal

pelirocco wrote: »

We all do what we have to do , if this was a man would you have the same criticisms? her oh will be there .
The children will cope, we cant always be there for every moment of their lives. ,

She doesnt have to do it, she wants to do it.We are there for important milestones when they are young.
As said before its not a gender issue, i am a working mum too.