Karmacat: To Infinity And Beyond!

hypno06

Re the clothes, I have a suit that was MiL that she bought when her oldest was a baby (for his Christening I think) and he is in his mid 40-s now.......I don't wear the jacket so much because it is the wrong "shape" for me, but there is nothing wrong with it, but I do frequently wear the skirt - work, weddings, funerals, you name it, I have worn the skirt for it! It is superb quality, and I often get really nice comments about it!

So it is definitely looking for an outlet for "vintage" clothing - if they are well made, they will have a value, I am sure.

Karmacat

Thanks Hypno - not sure if I want to keep it or sell it, its one of the things I tried on that still actually fits me, but I'll certainly investigate it.

I'm not going to be online much after the next 5 mins - my sister's just setting off to come here and help me excavate the garage. Gulp. Midday meal is cooked, choccy cake from Waitrose is ready, I have to get washed and dressed and do the dishes, and frantically tidy whatever else I can. Such a shame that on a fairly humid day like today, the daddy-long-legses are out in force, I'll be rushing about and freaking, I know it. OTOH, I've already told her I'll wear a bandanna today, so at least all the wildlife won't get into my hair.

Sometimes I despair of myself:rotfl::o:rotfl::o:rotfl::o

elantan

Sorry didn't mean to preach just concerned lol

Karmacat

Sweetie! El! Its very nice that you're concerned, I like it .... I love the caring and concern thats shown on this site, and its also lovely to be able to laugh and joke.....

Today was brill - my cold does seem to be over, and my sister was down for a good while. We chatted for an hour or so, and she led the charge into the garage - my ideal was to reach the packaging cases at the back, and she just went for it. The back of the garage is completely cleared out, and I've swept it. Lots of packing cases flattened, and their polystyrene stacked. Two nasty old chairs with paint all over them that were here when I arrived taken to the tip, lots of other stuff too. The cleanliness and order in there is staggering. I'd made a meal we could prepare quickly, and it all went well. My brother phoned - very unusual, but I'd phoned him recently when his job was on the line, and he phoned me back, and I put him on speakerphone, so it was really, really lovely. He's just made a butternut squash pie while his wife was at a patchwork class and he grew the squash too. The man is a domestic god on a par with Shaun, why on earth does he have me as a sister? :rotfl:

This all feels great!

Double_Trouble

Just catching up from when I was MIA thank you for the posts on my diary:T

Re the Mom situation I can sympathise when I was younger I was the one expected to uproot my life because of a parent situation which was fair enough because I was single and they were married - then when my father died and my mom moved nearer to my sisters I had to fight to get her for special occasions birthdays christmas mothers day etc. then when she needed to move in with someone again I was the one expected to take her (although I was now married and with young children) which I was happy to do - now 11 years on they are retired and I have to almost beg them to have her if we want to go away and they no longer fight over special occasions they just dont bother or expect to come here and have a holiday creating even more work for me - the only one who is really good is my sister in law - our family life has been seriously compromised as a result of caring for my Mom I don't resent that but I do resent my sisters not playing fair - sorry I am ranting - but do consider all the implications if you do decide to take on the role of full time carer.

DTxx

Karmacat

DT, thanks for taking the time to post in detail, thats not ranting..... To be fair to my lot, nobody *assumes* I'll be the one to give up my life and look after her - I was the one that offered. I simply didn't think about myself in doing that, because I just couldn't bear how scared my mum was while she was looking after my dad as he was deteriorating.

And my sister and my brother, who both have families, have done every bit as much as I have - more in some ways, because they both have cars, and help out in that way as well when they visit. For a long period of time, it was my *choice* not to have a car, not a financial necessity, so again they were helping in more ways than me. My mum's chatted more to me as the single one, but as my sister is now sadly widowed, that will gradually change too.

The offer my sister has now made to my mum is much more realistic - that if something happens to our auntie (my mum's sister, who's very ill but lives right by my mum), and my mum wants to move to be with my sister, then my sister will stay where she is for as long as necessary.

I couldn't live with my mum, I know that now. To be there on an equal basis with my sister would be brilliant, and very do-able. We get on well, and her 'kids' (both in their twenties!!!) are good too. I think thats the way forward.

Pippilongstocking

Hey KC well done on the garage

Off to read and rummage some more

OliveOyl_2

Things change with families, and alliances move.
When I was a single parent my Mum was feeling superfluous with the other 3 happily married (I felt a failure :rolleyes: she felt unnecessary ) and we grew very close.
Fortunately she adores Popeye, but when I married 9 years ago she distanced herself from me .
Parents then moved closer to my brother & family, even giving him a share in their house. Pa openly admitted that he did so because he wanted to give bro a reason to look after them & the house. But it didn't work out, bro and his family moved away - I was furious! (He's still profiting from the growth in the house value, but isn't the practical support that he'd promised to be.) I do understand the reasons (career) that he moved away but I'm still cross that he isn't there for them, though he is thick skinned and I'm too reserved for them to realise. :rotfl:
Hopefully (I will get to the point eventually;)) neither you nor your sister will feel trapped by your decisions for the care of your Mum.

Karmacat

Oof, thats complex, Olive. I can understand why you're cross with your brother - I wouldn't confront either in that situation

As to our situation now - I don't think either of us would feel trapped by her proposal on how to look after our mum. It'll just need a bit of time to come to fruition - I hope you can get there too.
xx

elantan

Well done for kicking the garages !!!! ... Am proud of ya ...I did the smae today but it was no where near what u went through just sons stuff ... But I remember when back in feb ( I think it was) I did my whole house took me atleast six weeks ... But the control over my life I felt when I achieved it was just stupendous and worth all the effort