HELP need advice, just split with partner today

climbgirl

Nobody's trying to knock you for doing well, good on you for trying to get ahead in life! It's just that what you're saying doesn't always add up (perhaps because we don't have all the info, I don't know). It is contradictory to say that you can barely manage to walk up two flights of stairs but then that you'll be able to take on a job in a bar that is usually pretty tiring physically. You can't jump down people's throats for that.

The numbers just don't really add up, that's why people have problems with your posts, not because they're jealous that you're trying to do well for yourself. You said previously that you've signed on for a mortgage on your own, based on your partner's income (which could be termed as fraud anyway if he's not signed on the actual mortgage) and you no longer have this income. You can pay the mortgage on your current earnings but not childcare as well so you're looking to take on more work to cover that but given what you've told us about your health issues, this isn't going to be straightforward. And somehow in all this you're going to find enough money to do up this house to sell it for a profit.

If you can pull it off, brilliant. But it's a damn precarious situation and you could very well end up in a heck of a lot of debt because of it.

black-saturn

But she said even now without taking on extra work the mortgage payments are less than half of her income.

missk_ensington

Thanks Jo and Foxy, Jo yes I have to agree you've beat me there! lol
I'm not doing so much-I work over 3 days and not in until 9.30, and uni has now finished until October so I now have all of Monday and Thursday off whilst my sons in nursery. I'm not doing quite so much as it would seem-I only work 14-16 hours a week (sat on my !!!!!! in an office!) and my uni work isn't too stressful (touch wood!). I'll sepnd my time off doing stuff in house, but most of it will be done by professionals anywy, and all I have to do is stand there cracking the whip! lol

Of all this, there isn't a lot I am actually physically doing.

Foxy I know what you're saying, but its easier said than done. My son's dad walked out when I was pregnant and everyone said have an abortion, when I didn't it was like my life had ended! Its not so much for what other people think, I really (and I know Im shallow in saying this) want the nice things in life-disposable income, nice holidays, a nice car... in the future and I'm not gonna do it sitting in a rented flat. I could wait until I finish my studies but my little boy will be 5 then my additiona studies he could be 10 before I finish, with no money and £20,000 of student loans. How would I ever turn that situation around quickly?

People might think Im materialistic in saying this, but I do want lots of money and I want to say i earnt it through intelligence and hard work, and want people to say 'see that girl with all them houses? she's only 30 and she had was pregnant at 17, who'd have thought she'd end up doing so well' Ok maybe not 30 exactly, but you get the jist and thats my personal goal, that is what will make me really happy!

missk_ensington

It wasn't based on my partners income in the literal sense, but my partners income was a big neccessity in paying our bills AND doing it up. I can afford the former, but not both without borrowing. Yes my mortgage was partly fraudulent, I could only borrow £60,000 on my true earnings so I added some VAT as I needed £82k. Yes its not completely moral, but I had money they weren't taking into account for mortgage purposes like £12,000 a year in student loans and grants! (This was in case I dropped out of uni, but hows that any different to getting a mortgage then quitting your job?!?)

My (now ex) partner has £80,000 of debt and verging on bankruptcy, hence why I was a sole applicant.

I just want to do well, not get people's backs up.

Foxy106

missk_ensington wrote:

Thanks Jo and Foxy, Jo yes I have to agree you've beat me there! lol
I'm not doing so much-I work over 3 days and not in until 9.30, and uni has now finished until October so I now have all of Monday and Thursday off whilst my sons in nursery. I'm not doing quite so much as it would seem-I only work 14-16 hours a week (sat on my !!!!!! in an office!) and my uni work isn't too stressful (touch wood!). I'll sepnd my time off doing stuff in house, but most of it will be done by professionals anywy, and all I have to do is stand there cracking the whip! lol

Of all this, there isn't a lot I am actually physically doing.

Foxy I know what you're saying, but its easier said than done. My son's dad walked out when I was pregnant and everyone said have an abortion, when I didn't it was like my life had ended! Its not so much for what other people think, I really (and I know Im shallow in saying this) want the nice things in life-disposable income, nice holidays, a nice car... in the future and I'm not gonna do it sitting in a rented flat. I could wait until I finish my studies but my little boy will be 5 then my additiona studies he could be 10 before I finish, with no money and £20,000 of student loans. How would I ever turn that situation around quickly?

People might think Im materialistic in saying this, but I do want lots of money and I want to say i earnt it through intelligence and hard work, and want people to say 'see that girl with all them houses? she's only 30 and she had was pregnant at 17, who'd have thought she'd end up doing so well' Ok maybe not 30 exactly, but you get the jist and thats my personal goal, that is what will make me really happy!

I hope you acheive your goals . I've re-read through this thread and have to say there are not many 20 year olds around these days that are as willing to work THAT hard lol let alone one who seems to have alot of odds stacked against her. I wish you well in your endeavours, you'll have to let us know how you get on.

lynzpower

Miss K,

IM not telling you what you can and cant do, I admire your get up adn go, I certainly dont have half of what youve got. But if this is the situation "I get exhausted doing every little thing. Just changing from one lecture hall to another in 5 minutes at uni has me clutching my chest and nearly in tears. And don't start me on stairs! One flight I can manage, 2-3 and and I'm choking like my throat has been closed up" then please, dont throw your self into bar work, or any other manual jobs. Im healthy, and I struggled with it.

Im not being down on you, but you are asking is a plan is practical. I think its not, and you need to change tack. But if you dont want to hear that, fair enough.

Fran

climbgirl wrote:

...... But it's a damn precarious situation and you could very well end up in a heck of a lot of debt because of it.

That's what I was thinking too, you will have student debt to pay back (in fact I'm not sure why you're bothering with a course as you appear to be keen on launching into a buy/sell career). Also don't underestimate the cost of your child! You also talk about borrowing of relatives. You won't have the hours in the day to do what you say which is:-

Commute to college (70 miles around Manchester area)
Attend course full time
Drop and pick up child from carers
Decorate the house (with a young child this will be difficult)
Do bar work
Do other work that you have mentioned (teaching?)
Spend time with your child

To do this you are:
Using student loan
Using DLA
Borrowing from relatives
Looking at college access funds
Working some hours
Child Maintenance
Child Benefit
Working Tax Credits

However, what if:

Your child is ill
No-one wants to buy the house (you will still have to pay commuting, childcare to get to your course) or you can't make a profit or you make a profit but it doesn't cover the debts
You need another operation or your health says NO!
You get thrown off the course for not attending

DLA might well be withdrawn if you are seen to be doing all this with no problem and with all the publicity about fraud there will be plenty of people who might report you. They would ask for proof of blackouts etc., but how can you prove that if you have them at home? If you have them at work, will they still employ you? If you have them while driving...... (I bet you haven't informed DVLA).

The money that you receive for DLA is for the extra costs of a disability which in your case is to have someone there if you black out. It's not fair on your child either to put them at risk. If you are getting middle rate care then you have said that you have night time care needs as well as day. The low rate mobility would be because of needing someone with you in case you black out. You seem to need someone to be there and yet you have tunnel vision for the house disregarding everything else as secondary, including your own health and that of those around you.

Not only that you are going headlong into a situation that potentially can end you up with serious debts and you might well run out of funders/gifts from family/work.

You are asking for advice on here but I'm not sure you're taking in what is being said in return.

Rachie_B

miss k re doing the house up

kitchen ,just go for bog standard B&Q etc one ,or maybe pick up ex display one
try and get away with as few units as you can and fill the "gaps" with open shelving,maybe chrome or the floating type shelves

if the floorboards are in ok nick you could hire a sander and rope a mate into helping to sand / varnish them ?

lynzpower

Rachie

I watched one of those house programmes once and they cut corners by getting an ex-display. thing is obviously it didnt fit properly. if miss k is wanting to turn around quick profit, ex-display probably isnt the way to go?

Penny-Pincher!!

Fran-I fully agree with everything you have said.

I suffer with disabilities and 2 years ago was earning alot of money, I am now on benefits and my OH is my FT carer:rolleyes: Im only 31. I had worked very hard to get to where I was in my career and had alot of problems stemming from my childhood that I also had to deal with. I receive DLA at the same rate as you and I cant do a fraction of what you can do. As Fran has stated DLA can be revoked at anytime and I think also that if DLA knew of everything you are claiming to be doing they would find it difficult to understand how you have a disability whilst doing so much IYSWIM.

At the end of the day...surely your priority is your child and your health

I am also concerned about you driving and blacking out. I used to work in insurance and I doubt very much that you could get car insurance if the company truly knew of your problems. Have you been completely honest with them and have you informed the DVLA. You are suppose to let DVLA know even if you have poor vision so blacking out at any time would surely be worse than this and would need to be reported.

HTH

PP
xx