HELP need advice, just split with partner today

Anastacia

black-saturn wrote:

I've personally experienced jealousy about being debt/mortgage free. I'm speaking from my own experiences.

I dont think I ever read that thread although i do recall you getting a bit of a grilling about managing to feed your family on a very small amount. (there was some question about whether making soup for a week with a couple of vegetables & half a pint of water was possible think ? I am sure it is possible).

I imagine we are all envious of the debt free/mortgage free but that doesnt mean we wish anything but good luck to anyone who is trying to do well, just means we dont like to be messed around by people who cant remember if they have bought a house or not, etc etc.

Are you happy in your home, your kitchen & in your life ? Thats the main thing i guess, even ahead of being mortgage freem & I hope you are. I am just asking that you dont classify us all as unpleasant & mean spirited when i find the DFW nerds anything but.

Anastacia

Fran

Anastacia wrote:

I imagine we are all envious of the debt free/mortgage free but that doesnt mean we wish anything but good luck to anyone who is trying to do well, just means we dont like to be messed around by people who cant remember if they have bought a house or not, etc etc.

I agree with that and would like to add that if you ask friends/acquaintances for advice you would hope they told you honestly how they saw it. The criticisms are more important than the praises, which are all very nice for moral support but might not be the most useful in terms of help.

If for any reason MissK can't work/ do the course, such as more operations, and ends up on Income Support there is a potential delay of 6 months before help with mortgage interest payments kicks in. In fact she couldn't go onto IS if for any reason she left the property and still owned it as capital.

Childcare is hard to find, especially the number of hours needed when doing the course and working. Would they travel with you to college or be looked after near the house? When you are working someone will have to be caring for the child too, what is that going to cost and will it in fact be worth working?

There are too many factors in my opinion that point to it not going as planned. Also too many inconsistencies in what's been said on different threads. It's not that anyone wishes anyone bad, it's just that experience does count.

Ali-OK

I can only add good luck to Miss K and my own experience.

I had a £30K mortgage on a house that needed alot of doing up, but not at much as yours sounds! I worked full-time on a good salary (@ £30K) and when I became a single parent and still worked f/t, I found it very tough going financially to bring in professionals and get it turned round. It took 5 years in total and I sold it unfinished (no kitchen just basic sink and a pantry).

I bought at £15K less than houses similar nearby and sold for a profit of £60K and moved up the ladder, but please remember that house prices started to boom again when I sold, which pushed the profit up more than just the work.

It can be done, but you need a fair bit of money spare to do it. Thinking you can do it, is very different to actually doing it. But I wouldn't do it again!!

missk_ensington

The information is conflicting bcause 2 weeks ago I wrote from the circumstance of a two parent family with a decent income and seemingly a future planned, and this week I'm a lone parent!

Kevicho- thanks, finally someone who uderstands the big players all made their money by taking risks, and certain 'Entrpeneurs' I wont say any names incase the forum gets sued, they obtained their capital from dubious means. Yes there are some slightly dodgy, occassionaly mildly illegal suggestions in my post but I'm not a bad person! I pick up wallets and habnd them back, I used to volunteer before my OH left at a rest home, I give back moneyu when Ive had too much change. God, I'm that soft I reduced my hours on a business trip by 6 hours because I felt mean letting them pay for me to sit on a train doing nothing!
I wouldn't ever rip off small businessesn like the one I work for, or normal people, but the Gov and banks and big corporations I'm very sorry to say I have no scruples in ripping them off. My bank give me interest of 3.5% on savings and take 17% on my credit card! I pay 381 a month in interest alone on my mortgage! (I am referring to the bankruptcy thread).

My student loan doesn't have to be paid back for 4-5 years at least, I should bloody hope Ive made a small fortune by then! Want my degree a) in case at some point I have to or want to stop this and just get a run of the mill job and b) when I'm in my fifties I don't want to be doing up houses, so I'll want to lecture and work in Education (the sector Im now in) as a hobby.

missk_ensington

PS. Childcare-Im not in uni now til October except 2 exams, and I work 2 part days and nursery is paid and open Mon-Fri 7.30am-5.30pm.

I only work 14-16 hours a week, that is literally all I have to do except some revision! The other 25+ hours a week I'm not working an my child is in nursery.

Will look into ex-display kitchens if one will fit. And for whoever mentioned my mum giving me money, she doesn't have any cash, she is ALWAYS investing. Of the propertie with mortgages the rents just cover loans, of the ones not mortgaged all the profit gets ploughed into another investment.

I'd just like to say, I'm 20 I haven't been in a pub since Christmas Eve, the next time will be my 21st in October, I dont smoke, I rarely buy clothes, and when I do its from matalan or Asda perhaps one item every few months, I cook every night of the week and shop at Lidl, I dont buy takeaways, and don't buy makeup and beauty products - ots soap and deodrant and not much else. No expensive creams and perfumes.
This is why I've managed to do well so far and why perhaps others haven't. I can't speak for everyone, but my friend is always saying she's in debt and can;t afford to live etc etc, but she smokes 10 a day, goes out 1-3 times a week, buys ready meals and any bonus cash she wasn't anticipating goes on a new outfit or a meal out!

I think I deserve any money I make because I've sacrificed a lot because it means so much to me

jesster_2

Of course you deserve any money you make, no one's denying that.

And i wasn't suggesting your mum GIVES you money, i was suggesting she invests it somehow, if what you need is cash upfront to pay for doing the house up. Purely a business arrangement, esp if you're planning on selling up fairly sharpish.

Re kitchens: depending on what state the units are currently in, have you thought about replacing the tops and doors rather than the whole units? Works out much cheaper.

Fran

:rotfl:

Oh come on....... you must have some faults??? :rotfl: :A

missk_ensington

What do you mean faults? I sure do, I blasted 2 grand last year having a boob job! Unfortunately I can't take them back for a refund in my moment of hardship!

Jesster- I'm currently discussing with my mum-in-law (sons granny) that she buys 10% of house, essentially the value of my deposit and she takes out the sme amount when I sell. I worked out if I sold at 110k the profit she'd make would be equivalent to outting it in a bank account with a 21% interest rate. I'm still waiting for her reply, if she gives me 9k ish I can return 3k I borrowed from my dad as the shortfall in my deposit and have 6k left. This is still no easy task doing house on this amount, esepcially as it needs WHOLE kitchen, its literally an empty space, there's no floorboards its cement (dont ask cos I dont know why or who put it there!!) a fireplace (just a hole) curtains, bathroom (it works and will do for now but cant sell with it) carpets, walls etc... and a new boiler (heard I can get one about 500quid plus fitting)

This is why advice on cheap websites or sales that are on, and ex-display stuff will be really useful for me!

all_hours

missk_ensington, would you be able sign up with some temp agencies and work one or two extra days each week? If the childcare costs are already included in your figures then it would be earnings after tax.

Or after your exams could you cut the nursery days down to 3 days, or are you committed to the full week? I'm not clear on the set up, you say it's already paid for but you also say you need to cover your childcare costs.

Why did you decide against a lodger?

I'm sorry if these have already been answered, I've read both threads but there was a lot to take in and I could have missed something.

I think you should try and continue with the house. I know how difficult it can be in rented accommodation when there are children to consider and as you say rent is a drain with nothing to show for it.

Good luck.

missk_ensington

All hours- Ive been given money to pay for nursery, so if I reduced the hours the Childcare Grant people would want the money back, so it wouldn't be beneficial.

I currently work through an agency, and it wouldn't be worth getting another job because I get £140 quid a week in working tax credit, Id have to declare added income, so I'd probably make £50 for 2 days after tax and travel expenses but lose £40 in tax credits.

And before anyone says 'but you said a few pages ago you were going to do cleaning, get a bar job....' that was intended to be cash and I make no apologies for not declaring £7-8 a week for a few months I might get for 2 hours cleaning for pocket money.

Anyone know how much it should cost to pay a CORGI guy to fit a new boiler?