Is anyone putting money behind the bar??

frannyann

We are having a paying bar too! Couldn't afford to supply the amount my family could put away :rotfl:
My mum wants to buy everyone a drink after the meal for 30, but before the evening 'do' as part of the 'Brides' family bit, as she can't really afford to help us with costs (nor would I expect her as nearly 39 myself and second time around!!) But she wants to do something as a token! I thought it was a nice touch!

piglet74

i have NEVER been to wedding with a free bar, we had an open toast, but that was it,

money behind the bar......wud not dream of it!!!

if MIL wants that, then let MIL pay for that!

nozzy6

we're not having a free bar either, and I would never expect it! We are paying drinks after the ceremony, with the meal, for the toast, and we're paying for a glass of wine for all the guests at the start of the evening do, so the evening guests get one on us too.

If I win the lottery between now and may 22 next year I'll be having a free bar, but otherwise no way!

sunshinejoclaire

I have been to a lot of wedding's and none have ever had a free bar.

I have also worked at a lot of weddings (ex restaurant/bar supervisor) and never saw a free bar in any of the venues I worked in!

We provided quite a lot of drinks at our wedding (welcome drink, toast drink, 1/2 bottle wine pp, and a spirit mini as favour ), but under no circumstances would I have paid for all the drinks - it would have ran into a couple of thousand on alcohol alone!

hunnycat

we are not having any drinks for guests at all at the moment, closer to the time when we know exactly how much we have (i have over budgeted for everything) then i may include a welcome drink.
I am liking the idea that JenE has with the cocktails & beer jugs may have to enquire at our venue

Rosie75

The only weddings I have been to where there was an open bar were ones where the parents were funding it. Perhaps you ought to mention this to your MIL? And, come to think of it, none of those weddings were in this country.
This kind of thing really annoys me. People often go on about the cost of weddings how it never cost as much in their day, but often it's the parents putting pressure on the couple to spend more. My mother doesn't like very much at all about the small-scale wedding I'm having, she thinks it's not lavish enough and is embarassed about "what people will think". She expects us to put on the kind of wedding she and her friends want, and for us to fund all it. The best thing is that neither of our parents had to deal with this kind of thing for their own weddings as their parents organised and paid for everything!

We're not having an open bar, by the way. The day guests will already have had a drinks package, and we'll be giving the evening guests tokens (snowflakes as it's a winter wedding) with their invites that they can exchange for a drink at the bar. That means everyone gets two or three drinks rather than the money behind the bar running out because some people like to knock back the free beer. But then my wedding is much smaller than yours and the tokens won't end up costing anything like £600 per round!

*Louise*

I have only been to one wedding with a free bar, and it was a relative of DH's, who were both really well off (London banker types) so they put 3k behind the bar.

At our wedding we didn't have a free bar, we had a drinks package for everyone, then my FIL bought a round of drinks, after that everyone got their own, and no one expected anything else.

OP, if your MIL wants a free bar, then sh eshould pay for it. If she sin't paying for it, then she has no right whatsoever to insist that you provide the money for it. Drinks with the meal, yes - free bar so everyone can get bladdered at your expense? Nope.

Especially to the extent that there were TEARS over this discussion!! (yours or hers?) I think that is shocking that someone cannot listen to a reasonable explanation and things get to that extent.

xJayJayx

fantabulastic wrote: »

I forgot to say I've told my mum that under NO circumstances will I let her and dad put any money behind the bar!! It's the principle now!

P.s. xJayJayx...where are you getting married?

Woohoo good on you!

I'm getting married at Ashwells in Brentwood.
Where are you getting married?

aimee21j

Lydia82 wrote: »

Sounds like I'm the odd one out, there's no bar at our venue, so no choice other than to provide drinks all day.

Mine was the same- I haggled and took our own without paying corkage :money:

TinyPablo

I've been to a lot of weddings recently and not one has had a free bar and I would'nt expect them too. I'm getting married July 2010 and having wine for the toast and my dad's paying for it, thats it. Don't let your MIL upset you, your guests will be delighted with all the time and effort you have put in the make the day enjoyable as possible.