Is anyone putting money behind the bar??

fantabulastic

Hi everyone.
I've been reading all the threads and messages for ages, but this is my first official thread so I guess I'm quite a newbie!! So just wanna say hi to all the brides to be!! Glad I'm not alone!

Anywho, I'm getting married August 2010 and have started to slowly but surely get everything sorted.
My OH and I had decided not to put any money behind the bar ( although if nearer the time, we had any spare cah flowing...doubtful...we would put what we could behind ).

Well, when we mentioned this to dear MIL 2B, she said it was disgusting that we weren't putting any money behind and it's the same as charging people to come to our wedding!! ( We're already paying for everone's 3 course meal, table wine, and welcome drinks ). A huge fuss was made, tears included, and now I've been left to feel that I'm really in the wrong.

My friends assure me that no one puts money behind the bar in this day and age, but being the first to get married out of all of them, I wanted to get a few more opinions. We have 200 people coming to the evening and let's assume the average going price for a drink is £3...that's £600 for one round!!!

Any help and opinions would be soooooo appreciated xxx

kazmeister

We had a wedding abroad so only had 20 people for our ceremony (14 family members were on holiday together anyway). We paid for a drinks package that included arrival drinks (bucks fizz) 1/2 bottle wine each, 1/2 bottle water each + drink for toast. In addition to this we put £200 behind the bar and were very happy that no-one ended up having to pay for a drink (and some of us were still drinking up until 230am!) Total cost of drinks averaged out at £25 per head.

I can appreciate the difficulties with the larger numbers tho. I would possibly suggest as a compromise, picking up the cost of the drinks during the main wedding breakfast as not everyone likes to drink wine.

Bennifred

fantabulastic wrote: »

Hi everyone.
I've been reading all the threads and messages for ages, but this is my first official thread so I guess I'm quite a newbie!! So just wanna say hi to all the brides to be!! Glad I'm not alone!

Anywho, I'm getting married August 2010 and have started to slowly but surely get everything sorted.
My OH and I had decided not to put any money behind the bar ( although if nearer the time, we had any spare cah flowing...doubtful...we would put what we could behind ).

Well, when we mentioned this to dear MIL 2B, she said it was disgusting that we weren't putting any money behind and it's the same as charging people to come to our wedding!! ( We're already paying for everone's 3 course meal, table wine, and welcome drinks ). A huge fuss was made, tears included, and now I've been left to feel that I'm really in the wrong.

My friends assure me that no one puts money behind the bar in this day and age, but being the first to get married out of all of them, I wanted to get a few more opinions. We have 200 people coming to the evening and let's assume the average going price for a drink is £3...that's £600 for one round!!!

Any help and opinions would be soooooo appreciated xxx

Let her put the money behind the bar if she's so bothered about it!

As a wedding guest, I really wouldn't expect it - you'll have spent enough, surely?

xJayJayx

we're not putting money behind the bar, they're already getting a meal, welcome drink, 1/2 bottle of wine and a drink for toasting with. It should be enough for them to want to be at your wedding they're not there for the freebies!
If your MIL thinks its so disgusting suggest she stumps up £600 for the first round and she what she says..

p.s nice to see a fellow essex bride x

shellsuit

People like that really pish me off.

If it's that much of a concern to her, why doesn't she put cash behind the bar?? How can it be seen as charging people to come to the wedding !!!!!!, they don't have to drink anything do they, especially as you're already providing some drinks for them.

I don't envy you with your MIL2B.......don't get upset over it though chick, SHE is in the wrong, not you!

P.S. I've never been to a wedding where there are free drinks, apart from with a meal and the toast!

JenE_2

Welcome!
We've just been to our venue and they've just done a wedding where they did jugs of beer and cocktails for the meal rather than wine as the guests didn't really like wine...
But we're not intending to do any more than you are - that does seem pretty standard in my experience. My mum has said something similar to your MIL, but I've just said if she wants to pay for it, she can!
Good luck x

Herbiecat

Hi and welcome

Im getting married abroad and want a free bar for my guests, reason for this is because they have all spent alot of money to be with us and I feel its the least I can do, luckily mom and dad have offered to pay for our reception and are going to be putting 600 euros behind the bar. Not sure how long it will last tho because our numbers are getting bigger and some of them can drink for england!!

If I was getting married in England I WOULDNT put a free bar on, only the normal wine and toasts with dinner.

Im with the other posters if your MIL is so concerned then she should pay for the bar.

Chris xx

up_uours

:mad::mad:all the weddings Ive been to and never had a free bar:mad::mad:

joolesw1972

I think people expect to pay at the bar, we've been to some lovely (& prob very expensive weddings & never had a free bar) I agree with the others, stick with what you & your oh have decided & let your mil know that she is welcome to put money behind the bar if she wishes to.

Fitzio

I don't think I have been to a wedding other than my own which had a free bar. We had a small wedding with only 36 guests, but it was at a really posh place with amazing food. We felt that we wanted to do something special for the small number of guests that we were having since we weren't supplying any entertainment and the drink would be really expensive. So we had a few rounds of drinks behind the bar, on top of the champagne for the toast and welcome drinks and wine with dinner. As it turned out, there was so much wine that the money behind the bar never ran out so it was free all evening!

Any other wedding I have been to, you get a welcome drink, wine with meal, and drink for the toast (at most). Maybe a couple of times the father of the bride has bought a drink for everyone as an extra on the day, but it's not standard.

If your MIL is so bothered, she should be contributing to your wedding and offering to pay for a couple of rounds herself. If she is not paying then you do what you want. I don't think anyone would expect it!!

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Teetotal weddings are the way forward. :beer: