Is anyone putting money behind the bar??

SkyKitty

Hmmm...

I've been to free booze weddings and cash bar weddings and have honestly enjoyed them both. I am sure my friends and family would rather celebrate with us and pay for their drinks than miss out on the occaision entirely.

We are having money behind the bar, as it is a gift from FIL2B. Which I kind of expected as he did the same for H2B wedding a few years ago.

If we had to pay for it ourselves though, we would have to think very hard about it as it does add up to an awful lot of money.

In fact I'd rather have a cash bar and request no gifts, that way guests aren't out of pocket on both drinks and gift. As it is we have requested no gifts, as we recently moved to the Isle of Man and are getting married here, and I already feel guilty about guests having to pay for flights and accommodation, as there is no way we could afford to pay for that for everyone.

JBD

catwoman wrote: »

My SIL gets married next week and her parents are suprising her with a free bar! I don't see the point, my SIL isn't going to benefit from that is she? I think they should have paid for a honeymoon or the reception instead as they are on a very tight budget. At our wedding 9 years ago they heard a few people moaning about the hotel drinks prices so I just think they want to keep guests happy at their DD's wedding!

Hubby and I think its ridiculous as they aren't rolling in it anyway and it will probably go on a credit card!! sorry had to get that off my chest!

I think this really says it all. To us hospitality towards our guests came before a honey moonetc. If/when my kids get married I would much prefer their guests to enjoy themselves. Both myself and their Dad would die of embarassment if we heard guests complaining about the price of drinks.

kelda_shelton

my view is - in this day and age in accepting an invitation people know what they've let themselves in for. They know they're going to be spending money at the bar as they would in any other night out. If you dont consider this to be a night out that you wish to spend money on then dont accept the invitation. Politely decline. Of course, you expect a small buffet or something & a cup of tea but I wouldnt expect my drinks on tap!

JBD

I personally think a wedding is a bit different to a 'night out'. of course everyone would expect to pay for their own drinks on a night out. It is a celebration, a family event.I wouldn't expect guests to pay for their orange juice at one of my kids birthday parties. To me it is exactly the same thing.

Rosie75

Providing orange juice for a child's birthday party is a bit different to picking up the bar tab for 200 people to drink for an afternoon and evening, though? Particularly when you've already paid for a meal and drinks package (wine, champagne, etc). Are you honestly saying you wouldn't mind paying £4.5k just on a bar bill (as someone above mentioned), seeing people totally drunk at your daughter's wedding as a result, and being so careless with your money that they forget where they put their drinks down and going to buy new ones? Sorry, but I think there are other ways to provide hospitality than giving people free rein on the beer pumps. My guests will be given drinks with their meal, and then a couple of drinks afterwards, but I prefer to know from the outset what it's going to cost rather than be presented with a bill in the thousands afterwards. Plus, as you say, it's a family occasion, there will be children there and I'd rather people didn't get completely trolleyed at my wedding. I just don't see that people enjoying themselves has to go hand in hand with putting away lots of alcohol, which - unfortunately - seems to be what free bars descend into.

frannyann

I can hand on heart say I have never been to a wedding with a free bar, and would be surprised if any of the guests expected it. It may be a cultural/generation thing. But if I get some grub at an evening do I am chuffed. As I see it going to an evening do to celebrate a freinds wedding, doesn't need to include people getting trolleyed at the happy couples expense. For those I have invited to the actual wedding and meal, we are providing drinks with the meal, quite a few actually!!

JBD

Rosie maybe we were just lucky that noone got absolutely trolleyed or was throwing up or really badly behaved at our wedding, people just seemed to relax without overdoing it. In fact I've never seen it any wedding I've been to. And I've never been to a wedding with 200 guests either. still I would still contribute to the drinks bill. Perhaps people expect different things at weddings nowadays, we didn't have campagne either

JBD

Sorry, would just like to add didn't mean to be offensive to anyone as everyone has different expectations I think weddings do cost a lot more money these days. I'm sure everyone's weddings will be lovely .

Kynthia

Is it possible to have all soft drinks paid for?

I quite like the idea of being able to treat guests, especially the unfortunate designated drivers and teetotalers, without people going mad and being wasteful which often happens with free booze.

Although the thought of budgeting for an unknown cost is worrying.:eek:

Claire_Bear

Don't some people give tokens inside the invitations or something which you can hand into the bar in return for your free drink. That way you can control how much you spend and it can't be abused because everyone gets one drink. Then people won't be getting a drink, having a sip then leaving it somewhere and just going back to the bar to get another