Getting Married in Secret

frannyann

Because of complicated family 'stuff' at the time, my older half sister did this and just took her mum with her. We all found out with a post card from their 'holiday' telling us it was actually the honeymoon. Whilst I totally understood why she did, there was a little bit of 'oh, I would have liked to have been there' She came to my (first) wedding a few years later and said it would have been nice to have 'all this fuss' which was quite funny, cos I hated every minute of it and would have much rather done it her way!! Horses for courses and all that! Good luck

nat82

I wanted to do it this way but OH didn't so we comprimised and did it very low key only having immediate family and extremely close friends. We didn't tell anyone else until afterwards.

It's your day and if this is what you want then go for it. My mum would have moaned about it but she just moaned about the wedding anyway!

I would never not forgive my children if they did it this way. I'd respect their wishes and be glad that they were happy with their decision and were getting married for the right reasons.

xxx

DKLS

My colleagued did this, all we knew was that they were going on holiday to the states, we all received a powerpoint file on their return, which had 99% standard vegas holiday snaps, the last image was them in a chapel, with the words "PS we got married" apprantly it was worth the disgruntled rellies and friends, as if they had a traditional wedding it would have descended into world war III.

Rockporkchop

We did!! We couldn't be bothered with the whole wedding business so we just flew off to Mauritius and got married on a beach, just the two of us. We had witnesses we met at the hotel there (who are now dear friends and godparents to our children).

The family weren't too pleased at the time, and still mention it occasionally but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. Our memories of our wedding day are wonderful and personal and it was completely worry and hassle free. We wanted the day to be about the the two of us and the vows we were making to each other and not about what dress to buy or whether we could sit certain people next to each other at the reception.

I would recommend it to anyone.

zztopgirl

Im doing this next week too, notsayingaword are you a date/elopement twin?! Good luck and best wishes for next week, am hoping we have some sunny weather!!!

We have both been married twice before and both very shy, my previous weddings were very quiet affairs though (h2b's last wedding was very ott and he hated every minute). Mil2b knows we are intending to do it, and isnt happy about it, but my parents are totally laid back, it just saves all the hassle of trying to please everyone.

Nobody knows we are getting married next week, and I feel a bit lonely that I cant share my excitement with anyone except the friends who will be our witnesses. But we certainly wont feel we are missing out on anything, its exactly how we want it.

As others have said, its our day and we will do exactly what we want. Will come back and post a wedding report if you like!

Herbiecat

zztop you can use us as your stand-in friends and share stuff with us.

Please report back and let us know how it goes. Pics would be good too, we all love pics lol.

Snuggles

NOVASTAR wrote: »

Has anyone got married without telling ANYONE about the wedding beforehand? How did you feel about it (keeping the secret from friends and family) and what about afterwards (do you wish you'd done things any differently?)
My OH and I just want a very low-key wedding .. just the two of us at the registry office really ... no fuss .... just turn up .. sign on the dotted line and then fly off on honeymoon after telling the parents etc.
I'd love to know if anyone has tied the knot in this way.

Oh, this is EXACTLY what me and OH would love to do. I have always said if i ever got married I would just do it one day and tell everyone afterwards, but now that we are engaged it has been made quite apparent that a few people would be deeply hurt not being there (my dad especially).

We don't feel it would be fair to have some family there but not others, and as I have a large immediate family it looks as though our wedding could end up being much bigger than we want, and it is putting us off setting a date.

I want the day to be just about me and my OH, I don't want to have to worry about whether other people are having a good time, and I hate fuss or being the centre of attention. I just really don't like the idea of a "wedding" and would love to be able to just get married quietly, just me and my OH.

I am getting quite depressed even thinking about the wedding, as I know it is going to end up being something I won't enjoy. I am normally the sort of person who would go ahead and do what I felt was right for me, but this is so hard as I don't want to hurt anyone.

OP if you think your family will be ok with it, then do it! I wish I was brave enough

notsayingaword

zztopgirl wrote: »

Im doing this next week too, notsayingaword are you a date/elopement twin?! Good luck and best wishes for next week, am hoping we have some sunny weather!!!
QUOTE]

We're getting married on 9/9/09 - a very memorable date so no chance of OH forgetting our anniversary! I'm glad we're doing it this way as it is hassle free - in fact there's nothing to do now except wait!

toshkininny

I'd like to do this, because I hate being centre of attention. I just want to go to a registry, and have my mum and dad there, and our children - but I don't particularly want my OH's mum and dad, because his mum always takes over everything, and also finds fault with everything.

My OH has been married before, he says that if my mum and dad are going then so should his - my argument is they've already seen it do it once! So we are in stalemate! Then I'd feel guilty about brothers and sisters not being invited, so there it goes on, and we will never go ahead and do it. I would feel really bad about getting married without my mum and dad being there, though, my mum would never forgive me.

toshkininny

Sorry Snuggles, I've said roughly the same as you!