Getting Married in Secret

NOVASTAR

Has anyone got married without telling ANYONE about the wedding beforehand? How did you feel about it (keeping the secret from friends and family) and what about afterwards (do you wish you'd done things any differently?)
My OH and I just want a very low-key wedding .. just the two of us at the registry office really ... no fuss .... just turn up .. sign on the dotted line and then fly off on honeymoon after telling the parents etc.
I'd love to know if anyone has tied the knot in this way.

Rachyuk3

My mum did a few years ago.... they just went off, got married & told us all afterwards. Wasn't a problem at all for anyone, although she does say now that she wishes they'd have had some sort of party/celebration afterwards.
Hope you have a fab time!

McKneff

:eek:Speaking as a mum of grown up and married children , if they had don that to me, i would have been mortified and hurt beyond measure.

It would be a long time before i could forgive them no matter what the reason.

blushred2

Never been married, so not able to speak from experience.

Not keen on big fusses, so think ur idea sounds lovely.

Just you and him, romantic and what its all about.

Good Luck

Yellowbug

we considered this, but once people knew we were engaged it became apparant they would be very upset if we did do it

i guess it depends what your relationship is like with your ffriends and family really, only you know how they will react to it



im now really enjoying the planning and the talking to everyone about the wedding...but theres still a part of me that thinks it would have been very cool to have gone to vegas and done it on our own lol

notsayingaword

I am actually doing this next week!!! However we have invited our parents as we need witnesses :rolleyes: but haven't told the rest of the family. We gave our parents a month's notice so they would be around. We'll have a meal after and then I intend to post on facebook to let everyone else know .

NOVASTAR

Thank you Rachyuk3 and McKneff for your replies.
My Mum got married this way (25 years ago - 3rd marriage) and although my Nan was a little upset appreciated that it was their decision. A couple of years ago my brother who lives in another country did the same thing and we as the family were all ok about it.
I know that my family and friends will be ok as over the last few years its been indicated that this is the way that i'd like to do it if/when i got married.
I just wondered how keeping it quiet from friends and family made you feel as at the moment i am wrestling with my conscience ..... want to get married .... but don't want a fuss or anything, so it's not like we can tell anyone as it would then escalate and we would feel obliged to make the day special for other people instead of for ourselves. We will have a get together for everyone when we get back from the honeymoon.

NOVASTAR

notsayingaword - thanks for this.
This would be perfect except that both sets of parents have re-married , so there would be two Mums, two step Mums, two Dads and two step fathers - oh and then the obligatory Nans who are both in thier mis 80's and part and parcel of the deal!!

notsayingaword

It is extremely hard to keep it quiet, I have a big family and a huge wedding is my idea of a nightmare. They have all had the weddings they want and this is what I want - if they don't like it then tough! My mum and OH's parents will be there and that's enough for us. It's harder for my mum as she's so proud and wants to shout it out but she can't.

NOVASTAR

notsayingaword - i'm sending you my very best wishes for next week and hoping you have a really fantastic time! x

DitzyTwinkle

NOVASTAR wrote: »

Has anyone got married without telling ANYONE about the wedding beforehand? How did you feel about it (keeping the secret from friends and family) and what about afterwards (do you wish you'd done things any differently?)
My OH and I just want a very low-key wedding .. just the two of us at the registry office really ... no fuss .... just turn up .. sign on the dotted line and then fly off on honeymoon after telling the parents etc.
I'd love to know if anyone has tied the knot in this way.

I want to and my mum (dad died when I was 18) is fine with it thankfully. Just have to find a fiance :rotfl: I'd like just a quiet wedding with my parents and his parents at the reg office and a proper old fashioned buffet type party in a rented room, I have no interest in a "big day".

Seriously though, it's your day