DH's 60th B'day and I have social phobia. HELP!!

LameWolf

Thanks everyone - particularly for ideas for topics of conversation. I'm totally useless at small talk, don't watch tv and have zero interest in fashion, so I'll make a point of mugging up on these a bit beforehand, so that I don't look completely dumb. (My interests run more towards animals, computing and RPG games - I spend my evenings bashing trolls rather than watching Corrie LOL).

DH always does my hair for me; I may be able to work it that we colour and trim it the day before; good idea, that. And he bought me a red skirt the other day (I soooo hate clothes shopping that if I see something I like in passing, he immediately buys it) so I'll probably wear that.

Jenhug - I'd never go for hypnotherapy. I simply don't trust anyone enough to let them hypnotise me, unfortunately.

Pee, good idea about getting there early - I can grab a comfy seat then; I usually perch up in the corner, as I can rest my sticks up against the wall and no-one falls over them. Assuming I can work it that we're in the Public bar.

I've got to say, the amount of support I've been offered here has made me feel a good deal easier in my mind. Thank you all.:o

jenhug

I understand what you mean, but hypno is not like you see on the tv!
you just sit in the chair and close your eyes, you can get up any time you like, you remain in control. You are aware of everything going on around you, please don't just dismiss it, have a think about it and maybe do a little research?

You can have it done at home if thats better for you, and a friend could sit in the room with you.

LameWolf

Hello all, I hope you don't mind me resurrecting this thread?

It's now less than a month til DH's 60th; we've spoken to the pub landlord, and he's going to supply a buffet :j and the idea is that everyone who turns up gets bought one drink. DH has emailed his 2 best mates; one has said that he and his wife will be there (that's Molly-Dog's owner, and also the chap whose wife thinks I'm a waste of oxygen) and the other has replied, but not committed himself either way. I gather an email has also been sent to the members of the bikers club that also meets there; DH has also spoken personally to several other people he socialises with at the pub.

I think I've talked him into letting me do the driving - I explained that getting into a taxi, with a driver I've never clapped eyes on before, and probably have considerable difficulty getting in and out, will be more hassle than me driving our nice, comfy Honda Jazz that I can get in and out of with minimal aid.

I've got my bottle of Bach's Rescue Remedy - it now resides in my handbag!

I'm still feeling very nervous about the whole thing though, particularly as I've been having a major self-esteem crisis recently; actually, I don't really know why I'm posting again - just needed to "tell" someone, I guess.

Anyway, thanks for taking the trouble to read.:o

Pee

Would you really find it easier not to drink? These things are very personal, but I'd find it much easier to drink... and with a month you could find a taxi driver with a taxi that you liked/ that was easy to use.

Have you got your outfit sorted?

Odette

Why dont you turn this on its head and try and see it as an oppertunity to grow and learn from being in a social situation?
Being in your state must be very debilitating but wallowing in it is doesnt help. A positive mental attitude is really helpful in this situation, why dont you try and imagine having a nice time?

Penny_Watcher

Good for you Lame Wolf :T Well done.

So you'll have your newly 'done' hair and lovely red skirt (excellent choice for a Winter skirt by the way). I know we've never met, but if I did happen to meet you at this get together I'd be very interested in hearing about the work you do with the home-from-home dog service, and Molly-Dog

LameWolf

Pee wrote: »

Would you really find it easier not to drink? These things are very personal, but I'd find it much easier to drink... and with a month you could find a taxi driver with a taxi that you liked/ that was easy to use.

Have you got your outfit sorted?

I'm trying to cut down on my alcohol intake - I shouldn't drink the amount I do, with the meds I'm on, so it'll be an excellent opportunity NOT to over-indulge.:o Also, DH can very easily drink too much and spoil the evening for himself - I'll be better able to gently steer him into slowing down if I'm not drinking. He's already agreed that a tomato juice every other drink will be a good idea for him, btw.
I've thought about it a lot, and I honestly think I'll feel more "in control" this way; also there won't be the wait for the taxi at the end of the evening - experience tells me that even if it's pre-booked, they never turn up on time.

As for the outfit..... well, I have the red skirt he bought me recently, or I have a black gothic-style skirt and top that are very comfortable. I can't afford to buy something specially (even if I could be bothered clothes shopping), but I think I can find something in the wardrobe that'll do.

I imagine he'll get out a suit and his favourite tie - an MC Esher design one that his mum gave him.:o

Pee

I don't think you are supposed to slow him down drinking on his birthday! He's only 60 once, remember!

As long as you are happy with the driving, and yes, even pre-booked, it's rarely on time and if it is it can be hard in advance to predict the right time.

Either red or the black gothic sounds nice. I don't see why it has to be something new at all, something you've been complimented in might be nice but something he chose to suit you sounds very good.

Have you thought of some topics of conversation for the more tricky ladies?

Rachel021967

Lame Wolf I'm sorry for your situation. I also suffer from social phobia but not as bad as you. I get very hot and sweaty and have mental blocks and by the time I've thought of a reply the conversation has moved on. I feel more relaxed around animals. Could your husband's friend bring along his dog to keep you company.

wannabe_sybil

Lame Wolf - just to say hello and that I will be keeping everything crossed for you! I recently went through the ordeal of my sister in law's birthday 'do' and found that it was actually quite easy to fade into the background. I also found lots of people happy to talk about little bear and his latest adventures. I am confident that there will be at least some dog lovers there, and that is at least something.

I really hope that it works out. It sounds like everything is under control. I love the sound of the gothic skirt and top, I am sure you will look great.

Have a big sticky hug from little bear, who has just taken one bite out of every single one of a bag of apples.