Wife had to take time off work to care for sick Daughter

inspector_monkfish

TotallyBroke wrote: »

No you are right I do not know her symptons and you do. But can you say that a Teacher that is responsible for many children with possibly no medical training or certificates is the best childcare solution for a sick child. Whereas a childminder that is first aid trained and possibly one that has chosen to develop their medical knowledge to look after sick and disabled children is not.

I really think this thread can be put to bed now. Your initial questions have been answered and you have dismissed them and any suggestions of what you can do to make the situation easier and better.

You originally asked what your wife's rights were in regard to being off work and getting full pay. The answer is None. She can have the right to having compassionate leave at no pay but she has no rights to be off work on full pay. The only thing your wife can do is speak to her employer and see what they can suggest for her.

The thing you can do is speak to your employer and take time off to look after your daughter, if you find yourself being penalised later on due to this then you can come back and people will advise on putting in a formal grievance against your company.

Good Luck and I truly wish your daughter recovers soon.

2 teachers have had specialist medical training in how to cope with her, so we are more than happy for them to look after her.

churchrat

My dd became unexpectedly and very very ill about 10 yrs ago. I was working in the public sector at the time. I gave up work to look after her. We had no money and have just about finished paying off the debt we accrued from that time. There is no doubt that our entire family suffered at that time and it was an experience I would wish on nobody.

I did not expect my employer to pay me for not being there ( although they were very helpful at first, it was only when it became clear that I would not be returning quickly that I left) and we did not try and "wriggle" around the system to find loopholes to enable us to get money to which we were not entilted (and I would put a sick cert for me in that catagaory). We did explore all the options available to us at the time, such as charities which dealt with our dd's particular health problem and working any hours I could fit in, although this was difficult.

It is an awful, desperate and frightening thing to go thro--your child is ill and that is unfair enough, and then you have all the money worries as well--and then you come on here and people don't seem to be telling you what you want to hear.

The truth is that there is very little that your dw's employer HAS to do, and it sounds as tho they are being really helpful already. I am assuming that you have already explored all the benefits options (not read all the thread-apologies) and gone to all the relevant charities.

The soc services idea is a good one, many offer a sort of "befriending " service where the child is put in touch with others with thier condition and/or families in similar situations.

I know it all seems unfair, really I HAVE been there, but the main thing is that your dd seems to be progressing and can go back to school soon. As you have said it is a phased re-introduction I assume that she will be able to go full time at some point and as your dw works in a school she will be able to match hours with her.

For me the most important thing was that we all came out of the experince alive--something that was by no means certain. There are posters on the dfw board who were not that lucky. I would not say it was an experince which was good for us, but we certainly learnt a lot and in many ways came out stronger.

You seem to have the important things sorted-- school and her health, and money really is not as important. Sometimes finances have to take a back seat and we are worse off than we planned to be.

good luck with your child, I hope all goes well with her and the rest of your family.

inspector_monkfish

churchrat wrote: »

My dd became unexpectedly and very very ill about 10 yrs ago. I was working in the public sector at the time. I gave up work to look after her. We had no money and have just about finished paying off the debt we accrued from that time. There is no doubt that our entire family suffered at that time and it was an experience I would wish on nobody.

I did not expect my employer to pay me for not being there ( although they were very helpful at first, it was only when it became clear that I would not be returning quickly that I left) and we did not try and "wriggle" around the system to find loopholes to enable us to get money to which we were not entilted (and I would put a sick cert for me in that catagaory). We did explore all the options available to us at the time, such as charities which dealt with our dd's particular health problem and working any hours I could fit in, although this was difficult.

It is an awful, desperate and frightening thing to go thro--your child is ill and that is unfair enough, and then you have all the money worries as well--and then you come on here and people don't seem to be telling you what you want to hear.

The truth is that there is very little that your dw's employer HAS to do, and it sounds as tho they are being really helpful already. I am assuming that you have already explored all the benefits options (not read all the thread-apologies) and gone to all the relevant charities.

The soc services idea is a good one, many offer a sort of "befriending " service where the child is put in touch with others with thier condition and/or families in similar situations.

I know it all seems unfair, really I HAVE been there, but the main thing is that your dd seems to be progressing and can go back to school soon. As you have said it is a phased re-introduction I assume that she will be able to go full time at some point and as your dw works in a school she will be able to match hours with her.

For me the most important thing was that we all came out of the experince alive--something that was by no means certain. There are posters on the dfw board who were not that lucky. I would not say it was an experince which was good for us, but we certainly learnt a lot and in many ways came out stronger.

You seem to have the important things sorted-- school and her health, and money really is not as important. Sometimes finances have to take a back seat and we are worse off than we planned to be.

good luck with your child, I hope all goes well with her and the rest of your family.

thanks so much for your kind words and reasoned thoughts


wife went to see her employers today and they are being extremely reasonable. they cannot do enough to help.
we are are very lucky that my wife must be bl00dy good at her job, that they seem to be bending over backwards to do all they can to understand our situation and help her out

oh, and daughter has managed 2 mornings at school this week unscathed, but extremely shattered, so thats a brilliant start to the new term.

krisskross

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

thanks so much for your kind words and reasoned thoughts


wife went to see her employers today and they are being extremely reasonable. they cannot do enough to help.
we are are very lucky that my wife must be bl00dy good at her job, that they seem to be bending over backwards to do all they can to understand our situation and help her out

oh, and daughter has managed 2 mornings at school this week unscathed, but extremely shattered, so thats a brilliant start to the new term.

I agree with them helping as much as possible but not them paying council tax payers money to someone whose domestic circumstances means they are unable to work. This should mean that everyone who decides to be a SAHM should be paid a proper salary as should carers of anyone.

What does your wife do?

thorsoak

Excellent news all round - hope things continue going so well!

SuziQ

I have a child with special needs which for over 2 years went undiagnosed. When I needed to go back to work,I had to do 6 weeks training with NHSDirect (fulltime daytime) and had to look for care for him. The childminder lists that I recieved stately clearly what skills/training the childmonder had/was prepared to undertake and it was relatively easy to find a minder who was able to accomodate his needs. Some childminders are nurses or teachers who are doing the CM job to enable them to be sahm-you may actually find a cm who is well suited to your needs you know-especially if you go through the Health visitors/school nurses at your local clinic as they often visit children with needs being minded and would be ablt o tell you of anyone they knew with the skills needed. Ironically the lady I used had a child with the condition my son was eventually diagnosed with.

I do hope your daughter gets well very quickly now and that you and your wife can have some relaxation return to your lives,it musthave been a ghastly time for you all.
(And to those people on here who said tax payers money shouldn't be used to pay for your wife-I was under the impression we were living in a compassionate welfare state. If your dd had been kept in hospital for all this time-which is what used to happen back in the 70's when I trained as a nurse-it would have cost the state far far more for her care in hopsital than to support caring parents at home to care for her in a safe environment where she is unlikely to catch
mrsa/c diff etc!!)

krisskross

SuziQ wrote: »

(And to those people on here who said tax payers money shouldn't be used to pay for your wife-I was under the impression we were living in a compassionate welfare state. If your dd had been kept in hospital for all this time-which is what used to happen back in the 70's when I trained as a nurse-it would have cost the state far far more for her care in hopsital than to support caring parents at home to care for her in a safe environment where she is unlikely to catch
mrsa/c diff etc!!)

So everyone with a sick child/husband/wife etc should be paid full pay by their employer if they need to take months off to care for them? Companies would soon go bankrupt if many employees falsely claimed sick pay like this lady has. Harking back to what happened in the 70's is nonsense. I was in hospital for 14 days following a routine removal of gall bladder. Time in hospital now post surgery is about 2 days. My husband was out on his 5th post-op day after triple bypass. Things do move on you know.

I am a trained nurse as well, but with more up to date training.

viktory

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

you really are quite nasty aren't you

:rotfl::rotfl: I think you'll find you are being most unpleasant to a well respected long term poster who has been polite and factual.

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

As i said before. Heartless. (and i'll add bitter to that now.)

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

thank-you for a straight forward answer, rather than an underhanded snidey one!

ShaShaSha

gosh what an awful situation!! I do hope your daughter returns to full health very soon.

Its lucky your wifes employers are so understanding I know your wife does have the right to unpaid time off to care for your daughter, and that if your child needs care, the school can provide someone to help your daughter at school - I had a carer with me when I returned to school, she was trained for handling me etc and dispensing my medication - so may be an option? Id call the social work and ask for advice, if she needs help/supervision/care to return, they should be able to help

Hope your situation improves, and glad your daughter is back at school a few days.

inspector_monkfish

viktory wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: I think you'll find you are being most unpleasant to a well respected long term poster who has been polite and factual.

yes, i had worked out there is a bit of a 'clique' on here.



thanks so much to all the supportive posters on here.

now that we know the circumstances with my wifes employers, and how they are being extremely helpful, to which we are of course extremely grateful, we can relax a little and concentrate fully on getting our daughter better, healthy and back into full time education again...

regards
IM