Wife had to take time off work to care for sick Daughter

bestpud

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

some were passing judgement over us receiving something we dont seem to be entitled to. hardly our fault.

some were saying that if daughter is well enough to go to school, she is well enough to be left with a childminder, which we isn't.

You wife is not entitled to sick pay! You are receiving something you are not entitled to!

Nobody was blaming you, or indeed your wife's employer; people were saying GPs need to be brought to task over this.

I do think it would be your fault if you carried on with this, now you know you are not entitled to it, as presumably your GP would not force a note onto your wife, i.e. it would involve her asking and accepting?

It is reasonable to question if childminder could be used. You said that is not possible and someone else gave reasons why, so it was dropped as an option.

As I said, nobody has judged you, or insulted you, and you have no right to insult others.

bestpud

thorsoak wrote: »

Japanese company or not, they still have to comply with the law of the land regarding time off to care for young children (and you say your daughter is just 5).

It has been my experienced that once the HR department of any company is reminded of its obligations to its employees as defined by law that they do comply - Japanese in particular are very mindful of being on the right side of the law!

Given the wife is receiving full pay for being at home with their dd, you can't blame him for not even considering looking after her himself. :rolleyes:

After all, they believed she should be able to go back part time from her 'sick leave' and still receive full pay, so you can see he hasn't thought there wil be any need for him to lose any pay.

elsien

thorsoak wrote: »

Japanese company or not, they still have to comply with the law of the land regarding time off to care for young children (and you say your daughter is just 5).

It has been my experienced that once the HR department of any company is reminded of its obligations to its employees as defined by law that they do comply - Japanese in particular are very mindful of being on the right side of the law!

But the company does not have to give flexible working - quote from the direct gov site.

" your employer must seriously consider any application you make, and only reject it if there are good business reasons for doing so. You have the right to ask for flexible working - not the right to have it."

We don't do flexible working at my workplace - just not feasible or practical in our particular setting, and people know it's shift work with specific times that need covering when they take it on.

The full info is here if the OP wishes to look in more detail - I guess it depends what job he's going and the practicalities of his specific situation.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/Flexibleworking/DG_10029491

brians_daughter

ok, first i am sorry to hear of your daughters situation, i hope she continues to improve. it must be very stressful for you all as a family

Your wife should not have been given a sick note by the gp to care for your daughter, but i am not judging that. That is GPs mistake not yours. I would assume if someone was given a sick note in order to care for a child etc they would assume it was legal and above board to do this, although you are very lucky your wifes employer has not questioned this with HR and an outside Occupational Health company

Anyway, the point fo my post is to share with you a simular experience that our family was in,where we have had to take time off to care for a sick family member..

My mother had to have time off work to care for my father when he had 3 strokes in 3 weeks that left him blind and unable to walk. She took 2 weeks as compationate leave initially unpaid then went on to2 weeks holiday.

When the extent of his condition came to light she took 12 weeks unpaid leave - her employer actually chose to pay her 1/2 pay for this time as she has worked for the company for 37 years since leaving school and had only ever taken 11 days sickness leave as well as maternity leave to have my brother and i.

She then herself suffered illness directly related to dad, ie she became depressed, panic attacks etc and was then signed off work for 8 weeks by the GP - she got sick pay for this as she was ill.

Upon her return to work she went back 2 days a week initially and was paid for 2 days, she gradually built this up to fit in with Dads rehab process.

So in short your wife is 'entitled' to be paid for the hours worked when she goes back. Does she have any holiday entitlement she could use to 'top up' her wages whilst only there p/t. Maybe worth discussing her concerns with the employer and looking at the company handbook etc

Although i do not know your daughters condition have you not considered DLA for her, does she fit the criteria for this? May be worth looking into if her illness is to continue for more than 6 months and she has already suffered 3 months or more?

inspector_monkfish

feelinggood wrote: »

Well, you have the choice to not use the sick note, don't you?

I also think it is a reasonable thing, to assume that your daughter would be well enough to go to a childminder. In many cases, this would be true. Have you spoken to your childminder about this? Perhaps she might be willing/able to help out.

trust me, the childminder is not an option with my daughter's current condition.
maybe in a few months if she has shown significant signs of improvement, but certainly not yet.

inspector_monkfish

brians_daughter wrote: »

ok, first i am sorry to hear of your daughters situation, i hope she continues to improve. it must be very stressful for you all as a family

Your wife should not have been given a sick note by the gp to care for your daughter, but i am not judging that. That is GPs mistake not yours. I would assume if someone was given a sick note in order to care for a child etc they would assume it was legal and above board to do this, although you are very lucky your wifes employer has not questioned this with HR and an outside Occupational Health company

Anyway, the point fo my post is to share with you a simular experience that our family was in,where we have had to take time off to care for a sick family member..

My mother had to have time off work to care for my father when he had 3 strokes in 3 weeks that left him blind and unable to walk. She took 2 weeks as compationate leave initially unpaid then went on to2 weeks holiday.

When the extent of his condition came to light she took 12 weeks unpaid leave - her employer actually chose to pay her 1/2 pay for this time as she has worked for the company for 37 years since leaving school and had only ever taken 11 days sickness leave as well as maternity leave to have my brother and i.

She then herself suffered illness directly related to dad, ie she became depressed, panic attacks etc and was then signed off work for 8 weeks by the GP - she got sick pay for this as she was ill.

Upon her return to work she went back 2 days a week initially and was paid for 2 days, she gradually built this up to fit in with Dads rehab process.

So in short your wife is 'entitled' to be paid for the hours worked when she goes back. Does she have any holiday entitlement she could use to 'top up' her wages whilst only there p/t. Maybe worth discussing her concerns with the employer and looking at the company handbook etc

Although i do not know your daughters condition have you not considered DLA for her, does she fit the criteria for this? May be worth looking into if her illness is to continue for more than 6 months and she has already suffered 3 months or more?

thanks for info and sharing

that will prob be the path my wife goes down, a gradual return parallel to our daughters return to school

dla process is currently in motion, waiting to hear

inspector_monkfish

thorsoak wrote: »

Japanese company or not, they still have to comply with the law of the land regarding time off to care for young children (and you say your daughter is just 5).

It has been my experienced that once the HR department of any company is reminded of its obligations to its employees as defined by law that they do comply - Japanese in particular are very mindful of being on the right side of the law!

thats possibly the case with HR, but not necessarily with my bosses!
until you have worked for japanese, you won't understand, trust me!!

inspector_monkfish

bestpud wrote: »

Given the wife is receiving full pay for being at home with their dd, you can't blame him for not even considering looking after her himself. :rolleyes:

After all, they believed she should be able to go back part time from her 'sick leave' and still receive full pay, so you can see he hasn't thought there wil be any need for him to lose any pay.

its just not even feasable, regardless of my wife's situation

thorsoak

Do let us know what her employer thinks of the situation - all our suggestions seem not to be what you wish to hear

feelinggood_2

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

thats possibly the case with HR, but not necessarily with my bosses!
until you have worked for japanese, you won't understand, trust me!!

Have you discussed this with your employers? I've known people to work for Far Eastern companies, and all have been accommodating.