I am fed up with doing all of the cleaning cooking and washing...

princess_loki

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Dinner - house dirty? what dinner?

been doing this for 4 days now - he will soon get fed up with sarnies - especially when bread 'is not there'!

princess_loki

princess_loki wrote: »

been doing this for 4 days now - he will soon get fed up with sarnies - especially when bread 'is not there'!

but then he will just buy me a chinese - which i love.

hot.chick

are these people lodgers or family?

Any

I think you are far too nice. I would understand your niceness towards your boyfriend...and that is only maybe, depends whether you are not overlooking other jobs he might be doing for you...

But lodger?????? Mindering over tea????

Tent in the front room? Well, I tell you what, it would be on the front (or back if it's hidden from neighbours) garden in the rain so they learn their lesson. They either put it away or they can buy a new one.

I like the idea about the cleaner. To be honest we did that with my husband and our house is much friendlier ever since. No arguing over who has done what (well, we still do occasionally..but very occasionally) and who had hard day at work and who didn't wash the bathroom last time...

Also there is a rule that every Wednesday night there is half an hour run around the house and picking up clothes, books etc from the floor so the cleaner actually cleans and not tidies (she comes on Thursday morning).... You could say that unless they do that, the cleaner will put that on their bed and not touch their room? Because you want the cleaner to clean for everyone and not waste her/his time on just one really lazy person?

Whichever way you decide - YOU ARE NOT THEIR SLAVE.

How old are they out of interest?

Zazen999

You all need to decide on which chores you are doing and stick to them; it's called SHARING.

I'd agree with putting the rent up to pay for a cleaner; but a cleaner won't be doing the cooking and the washing up and the clothes washing and the ironing and the tidying up and the other daily stuff....these are the things that need sharing out between you or a rota made up.


p.s.....the problem with your note that you have left is that you have stated that you FEEL like you are clearing up - which just belittles you even more. If you were going to write a note then be blatant and not timid.

Rockporkchop

You should really get them to do their share, although I say this as a total hypocrite who has been trying to train her DH for 20 years. He is still about as much use as a handbrake in a canoe.

It's all very well paying for a cleaner but unless you get one that comes several times a week, you are still going to end up doing most of the jobs you list above. Try it though and see if it works out, getting them to pay obviously.

If it doesn't, I would put their rents up by at least 25 quid a week each like everyone says, but I would keep the money myself. It won't seem so bad if you are getting paid for it!

Any

Well I am absolutely and completely AGAINST ironing LODGER'S clothes.. Why would you even start doing that??
The same goes for cooking.

Is he even a lodger? This seems very strange..

Yes, even with the cleaner there will still have to be rota for the washing up.

carolinosourus

I really don't think that you should have to do ANYTHING for your lodger, if he's not helping out then tell him that he's going to have to leave and you'll get a new lodger who you will set ground rules for at the beginning.

I had a similar problem with my bf (it's all a case of standards as he just didn't care if he was living in a pigsty), however if I ASKED him to do something then he generally would, but with a lot of huffing and sighing. I went onto chorebuster.net (hope I'm allowed to post links) and we made a rota, and as it was there on the fridge, he got on with it without me (usually) having to ask him to do it! And told him that no washing would be done if he didn't put things in the washing basket etc.

zzzLazyDaisy

There are few things worse than being treated like an unpaid servant in your own home. If that's all they think of you, boot them both out and replace them with fully functioning human beings

Pee

I treated my ex pretty much like this for about a year before we split up. My reasoning was that he would either not work at all or work part-time, which kept him in drink, just about, but he wasn't contributing to the house in any way other than cleaning it, so why should I go out to work and then come home and clean up a mess just to make his life more comfortable, when God's honest truth, it really didn't bother me. I would say that my attitude by then - albeit caused by his behaviour before - meant that relationship no longer had any kind of chance at all of being beneficial or fulfilling to either of us.

If the cat is catching salmonella, that is a very serious problem... you probably do need to do something about food hygenie as a cat can survive in the wild with presumably partially decomposed birds without ill effects... is the cat starving if it is eating putrid food?