Retired horse - end of the road?

candygirl

Sorry I haven't got any constructive advice for you hun, but sending you massive (((HUGS))), and hope the situation improves for you and your lovely horse xxx:o

cally6008

Sending you such huge vibes. Words cant express the feeling that your posts have given me (shock, disgust towards the males, sympathy, sorrow ,, I dont know). I wanna help but I'm t'other end of country.

moomin5

I think you really need to move and be able to enjoy the time with your beautiful horse. It doesn't sound like the situation will be resolved and why should you have to put up with that kind of abuse as a paying customer.

I've found the people on this site are quite helpful so might know of somewhere http://www.saddle-up.org/forums/ and try some of the other horsey ad sites.

cally6008

please note - you have to pay to post on Saddle Up

Fire_Fox

Got2Change I felt from your first post you seemed depressed, and of course this awful bullying that you are being subjected to must only be feeding into that. Are you able to ask your GP for help, medication or counselling on the NHS? The loving relationship between you and your dear horse seems to be being complicated and tainted by the negative relationship between you and this unpleasant old man.

Can you discuss your concerns over putting your horse to sleep with your vet? At some point it may become essential that this is done, and it seems best you are prepared rather than you worrying about it so much that you have nightmares. Your vet must be an animal lover yet will be able to see the situation with more objective eyes, and perhaps make suggestions of how the experience can be as little distressing for both of you as possible.

BitterAndTwisted

The darling horse is getting TLC from Got2Change but Got2Change needs rather a lot as well at the moment.

I do hope you can sort something for your beautiful companion. I don't know anything about equines but I dearly wish there was something I could do to help.

brighthair

I couldn't read and not post. I had my TB PTS at age 21 due to suspected laminitis and query Cushings disease. Basically one day I led him in from the field and he stopped. I turned round to see why, and I saw it in his eyes, and then sat in the middle of the field crying. He told me that day he wanted to go. On the day he had a massive dose of bute so he could go out in the field, one of the memories of him is seeing him rear and the sunrise behind him. I slept in the stable with him the night before and it was heartbreaking as he looked so well
He went by injection and it was incredibly peaceful. You need to go with your gut instinct. The hardest and bravest thing I ever did was to make that decision, but I would have been selfish to keep him alive. It was a horrible, painful thing to do, and I still cry over him now but I know it was the right choice. It sounds bad but better too early than too late

GotToChange

I just want to make a quick post to thank you all for such support and kindness and even interest in my somewhat self-inflicted saga.

It was decreed that we (him, his eldest son [my friend] and I) have a discussion. This was agreed between them plus the other son and I was only told by my friend. I did not say that I wouldn't but because I didn't outright agree, he told his dad that I wasn't willing. When I arrived there yesterday evening (after a day that had already been a bit of strain), the "talk" was not going to happen - he (the elder) had thought I wasn't up for it and was tired anyway.

My poor friend could only look on as, far from attending to my horse with any great sense of satsfaction, just the bare minimum, I almost totally lost the plot. I had psyched myself up so much, written notes and prompts to myself (including to not shout) so that nothing important would be missed. I was absolutely dreading it. Anyway, it has now been rescehduled (insisted upon, not by me) for THIS evening. Oh joy. Again, so far today, my list of notes to myself has become even longer.

I hate so much that I simply could not be left alone - nothing that I do has changed - and will (I predict this) be told that I must this, that or the other - OR ELSE!

The suggestion upthread that I "need help" is so very true. But there is no-one TO help (in recent months, there has been some bad "stuff" with my Father [who I hadn't seen for years], my Uncle [I thought he could help me to figure out my Father but instead it turned out he was off on a trip to visit said father[in Canada] the very next day] and even my Mother - with whom I am rarely in touch (very long story) and in my misery I called her only to find out that she was quite literally about to board a plane to go to the US with my half-sister who is playing in the World Darts Cup or something like that. She wanted to know why I was calling but of course I couldn't tell her; her way of trying to "understand" was "What do you want now?" My life was sheer c**p without any of this - but you know what? - the old chap at the farm thinks (he doesn't know the full extent, just some) that 1) it is of no relevance - except for 2) I must deserve it and therefore he of course thinks that I deserve all that I get from him too.

See how un-horsey this all is? I don't mean for it to be that way. I have bound myself - and of course my beloved animal - up in all this and cannot break free. I didn't expect to have to - and do for sure know that I have to take the horse away whilst he - and I - have some life left in us. The alternative is unbearable.

I am very sorry to wallow; I appreciate every word that you have all written. I can't seem to take (which?) action - it's paralysing.

mehefin

GotToChange
i am so sorry to read your saga.. what a bar steward!
On a practical note - have you asked your farrier if he knows of anywhere - ours is a mine of information as he goes all over the place. Your vet may know of somewhere too.
i hope it all turns out ok.. i really feel for you and i know how difficult it is to make 'that' decision.
Hugs
Mehefin

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

If things are this bad and you are seriously considering having your friend PTS (because that's what a horse is), it has to be better to grit your teeth and take a risk in moving him somewhere - anywhere - and walking away. He may be old and ill - so is the farm owner - but when your horse goes, you're not going to have any relief from the 'what if I had moved him?' type of regrets. Even if he goes during a move, it has to be better than getting bullied away from feed - and the obvious tension in everyone, as well as you is going to be screaming at him that you're in trouble.

So, you take the risk, move your horse - then you can walk away from the cantankerous old g!t (who may well be going senile and/or bankrupt - both of which can result in 'I AM IN CHARGE!!!!!!!' declarations as the shouter is so scared of losing control) - and even if the move doesn't go well, at least you tried and took control of the situation.

Otherwise, you have him PTS and, despite not having to go down the farm anymore, as there is nothing to keep you there, you feel that, on top of everything else, they killed your horse, too. Not a nice thing to hold inside you.

Hope you reach the most satisfactory solution in all this. It's my opinion that taking action, even if the outcome is not all you hope it would be, leaves you in a better state psychologically than doing nothing to alleviate an unacceptable situation, as that gets people feeling weak and helpless and as victim.

x