Retired horse - end of the road?

Has anyone here ever considered having their horse put to sleep because they had reached their lowest point?

He is a wonderful old boy - about 27yo Thoroughbred; retired due to Navicular 3.5 years ago. He goes really downhill in the winter but has come back lovely this year as previous years. He doesn't seem to be in any pain although is stiff and sometimes a bit lame (he has bar shoes though which are meant to help).

I truly didn't think that we would have another winter together - but he seems well and happy having lived out (new rug put on last week) since June.

The difficulties are mine really; a s****y couple of years have left me always one month away from financial disaster; the strain is causing a horrible inertia that I can't seem to shrug off.

Even though I am a long standing friend of his son, the man who owns the farm has decided to double what I pay. This is after too many years to count of my looking after their horses (as many as 30 some times), the property itself when he and his late wife rode the length of the country (for "charity") and the dog and remaining horses (now only 6 thank God) thoughout the summer when he is away for days at a time.

I know that none of this counts but even if I pay this, I still have no say in what happens with my horse; I am not allowed to turn him out when I want or bring him in (these small things become sadly important when the horse isn't being ridden any more); I can't feed him when it is best for me (within reason) - if I want to feed him myself, I have to wait around until the others are fed. I also have to use poor quality straw and have the amount of haylage restricted.

I can't bear the thought that this could drive me to make a stupid decision but I simply don't have any extra funds (don't even have enough anyway) and can't see a good way out of the situation.

Has anyone else come anything like close to this?
(I am so unhappy.)
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Comments

  • lowis
    lowis Posts: 1,952
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    sorry to hear of your troubles. is there any other place where you can keep the horse? even though you are already paying for your horse to stay there, why can you not get access when you need it? there must be another place where you can stable him?

    have you tried appealing to your friend, his son? perhaps if you explained things to him it might give him some understanding and treat you with a bit more compassion?

    are there any local horse charities nearby who could perhaps put you in touch with a stable that can help your situation?

    good luck x
  • trudij
    trudij Posts: 1,905
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    edited 31 August 2009 at 6:18PM
    There are a lot of people in a similar situation with their old horses at the moment(the moeny one - not the farm one!) - and the rescue centres are overflowing with horses and ponies that their owners arent able to look after any more.
    To be honest - at his age,and with navicular,even without the current economic climate, you would struggle to find somewhere that would take him.Rescue and retirement homes are struggling themselves,and are turning people away daily. Its a horrible thing to think of,but often euthanasia is the best option for the horse.Especially if he struggles in the winter anyway,and if you cant feed him how you want to... not sure why you have to use poor quality straw,and you have to ration his haylage - but there are obviously reasons.He needs to move yards if you are wanting to keep him - there are lots of retirement liverys about that would maybe have room (have a look in H&H)- though i have a feeling they are expensive(and full!)
    Hes obviously very much loved - and to have reached 27,hes obviously been well looked after and has been very happy - wouldnt it be better for everyone to let him go while hes happy and you ahve nice memories of him,rather than hanging on for the weather to crack again,you to not be able to do what you want regarding his keep,and struggle to keep him? You cant make yourself ill worrying over him, and money, and where he lives - that wont help anyone.

    Im sorry if that sounds harsh - but its a hard decision to make at the best of times,and im not sure that what i mean is coming over properly here - but to be honest it sounds to me like you have already decided what to do - you just need some reassurance that you are doing the right thing.Which imo you are - whatever you decide to do.

    HUGE HUG for you anyway - sounds like you need one
    xx
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup
  • GotToChange
    GotToChange Posts: 1,471 Forumite
    Thank you for your reply. I have kept him there for twelve years and even moved house to be closer. There is nowhere else locally apart from full livery (waaay beyond my budget) and I know that I would struggle in many ways if I was to move to a large yard.

    The way of things is one out/all out, all fed at the same time. I pretty much subscribe to this but it would (have) cause(d) some real problems had he still been ride-able. It is incredibly frustrating to have my schedule dictated to quite the extent that it is. When I got the horse, I had a husband and a daughter - both are long gone and the farm itself has sucked me in (in a bad way). It seems so wrong to consider what I am considering but the farmer is ruled by money - if I don't comply, I know that there will be trouble. The long-standing relationship and friendship that I have with the son (and the fact that he objects to what is happening) will count for nothing.
  • rachiee
    rachiee Posts: 407 Forumite
    Hi i currently own 2 retired horses and they are the same as you describe, down in the winter up the summer. Its just the way it has to be sadly, i have 1 thats 24 and the other is 21. My old gelding loses alot of condition in winter and i have to feed him carefully as he has lamanitus! They both also suffer from stiff joints but again its just one of those things, i made the vow if they both were not very good this winter and worse than last year i am going to have to get them both p.t.s. Its hard but its a decision that needs making, i have owned horses for years, got my 1st pony at 2 years old! Alot of people on here think putting animals down is cruel and you should let them live the rest of there life, but when you see them lose alot of weight and become skin and bone and stiff and when they find it difficult to get up because of this its always for the best and emotions need to be put aside and thinking of the horses agony put forward. Can you move your horse anywere else? He sounds totally unreasonable.. Have you tried asking anyone else round your area for prices? I wish i could help you more. Also the amount of haylage restriction is very unreasonable and he shouldnt be allowed to do this! I would seriously consider moving him away from there for the winter at least so he can keep up some form condition over the cold months. Also putting a bit of Cortaflex or NAF superflex 5* in his feed helps alot, makes the stiff joints alot less painful. :o I dont know what else to suggest of the financial side of things as i have never been in that situation. Is there nobody in your family you could turn to for help?
    Theres 2 types of horse owner, a person who owns a horse and a horsey person ;)
  • GotToChange
    GotToChange Posts: 1,471 Forumite
    Thank you very much trudij and rachiee for your kind words of understanding and advice. I would say things along such lines if I was offering my own advice to someone but in the midst of it, I simply cannot think straight.

    I deep down do believe the path I should go down is for him to be put to sleep - but I quite simply cannot cope with the image of it (by either method, having seen both) or the actual reality; I feel myself actually holding my breath when I contemplate it.

    The arrangements have never been perfect in terms of turn out (it is only in the least four years that they have lived out for the summer) and I have had to go along with the quality and quantity of haylage and bedding. It has been the path of least resistance I suppose - or anything for a quiet life, I don't know.

    It was never meant to be like this, I always thought that I would happily be able to take all responsibility for just about everything but it hasn't worked out that way - between the neighbours blocking my car in on purpose (they have an issue with the farm [pre-existing] being there at all) to the sheer numbers of horses that have been there - with no staff and the farm itself being so very poorly managed and my own life circumstances going down the toilette... It would be easy to blame having a horse for all that's gone wrong, but it's been my own stupidity and rotten luck. I tell myself that he has had the most love he could have and a bit of a cushy life; I just can't bear him to go.


    (Family? What's that? Seriously, the FatherfromHell is another thread in a different place altogether....)
  • mills2009
    mills2009 Posts: 13 Forumite
    Hi

    I haven't read the other replies, so apologies if this is already covered, but you talk as if your current livery is the only option. Is there anything else locally that might suit your needs? Your current place sounds very restrictive.

    I speak as one who has contemplated PTS when I felt trapped in a situation livery wise, my pony is doing fab 3 years on on another yard. She has arthritis, but is managed on bute

    There are yards out there. There is NOTHING wrong with PTS if the horse's welfare is at question in any way, so please don't beat yourself up. But there may be avenues out there not yet explored. I will PM you if you don't mind

    Mills x
  • My heart's breaking here and I don't even know anything about horses
  • mb73
    mb73 Posts: 84 Forumite
    I deep down do believe the path I should go down is for him to be put to sleep - but I quite simply cannot cope with the image of it (by either method, having seen both) or the actual reality; I feel myself actually holding my breath when I contemplate it.

    The arrangements have never been perfect in terms of turn out (it is only in the least four years that they have lived out for the summer) and I have had to go along with the quality and quantity of haylage and bedding. It has been the path of least resistance I suppose - or anything for a quiet life, I don't know.

    It was never meant to be like this, I always thought that I would happily be able to take all responsibility for just about everything but it hasn't worked out that way - between the neighbours blocking my car in on purpose (they have an issue with the farm [pre-existing] being there at all) to the sheer numbers of horses that have been there - with no staff and the farm itself being so very poorly managed and my own life circumstances going down the toilette... It would be easy to blame having a horse for all that's gone wrong, but it's been my own stupidity and rotten luck. I tell myself that he has had the most love he could have and a bit of a cushy life; I just can't bear him to go.


    (Family? What's that? Seriously, the FatherfromHell is another thread in a different place altogether....)

    Is there no way you could find someone who wants an elderly companion and put him on a free loan to them? I've seen people advertising this sort of thing, and it could be a solution so long as it was someone knowledgeable who could cope with his management.

    I really feel for you OP - not an easy decision to make, especially if you're feeling low already.
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  • Raksha
    Raksha Posts: 4,570
    Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
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    I faced a similar situation with my dog earlier this year. I knew losing her was going to be really really hard, but we were so busy at work, I couldn't afford any time off work to get over it :(

    I've always held that it's better to make this sort of decision so it happens to early than too late - for me, with my dog I had pre booked the vet for a certain day and that was the day she finally couldn't get to her feet, so for me it was just right.

    I've also worked with horses and kept my own pony, I'd say if you decide this is the right time, better for him to go while the soil is still warm and he's enjoying his life, rather than leave it later in the year when the weather has started to turn.
    Please forgive me if my comments seem abrupt or my questions have obvious answers, I have a mental health condition which affects my ability to see things as others might.
  • GotToChange
    GotToChange Posts: 1,471 Forumite
    I can't see properly to respond to such lovely words. I have only just put on mascara and it is halfway down my face. I am going to reply shortly but for now have to go and find the (luckily, grey) horse in his field, get past the mob of his field mates and give him his nightly apple, mints and kiss on the nose (you know, the soft bit next to their nostrils).

    Can't breathe.

    x
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