My Partner has left me

Foofur

98sidney wrote: »

Very good advice here the CAB will speak to ocean finace on your behalf.

Involve your childrens school they can give you written id to say they know you etc.

School uniform join your local freecyle site and post wtd school uniform on there, worth ago..

What age are your kids as I may have some bits I will happily send you.

Single mum for 7 years so know what you are going through..

CAB is my first port of call on Tuesday. The uniform is brand new as the school is changing to a City Academy and its all the usual logo/three pleats/partridge in a pear tree jobbies.

Thankfully there is a lovely parent worker with the school, and she knew things had been bad so I'll give her a call on Tuesday too.

Southern Electric have changed the name on the account, and that bill should be with me in a few days. They were really helpful thank God.

I think its Ocean thats going to be the biggie, as I think the mortgage company will be fine, we've always paid on time.

xmaslolly76

On the telephone front it should be pretty easy to sort out . Just call and say husband no longer lives at the property you now need a new account in your name. Again they will send you some sort of confirmation normally a contract out that you can use as proof of address.

Freecycle is an excellent idea for uniform certainly give it a go :-)

Dont forget to get that new account open Tuesday. I used The coventry building society there basic account took me 1/2hr to open and set up there and then had my cash card with in a few days. Plus they are a little flexible with the id i dont have a passport so they accepted my Tax code notification from the inland revenue and my tax credits award :-)

Foofur

My washing machine has gone belly up and my sister in Dublin has offered to buy me one on her credit card. Is there any way of doing that in the UK?

Oldernotwiser

Foofur wrote: »

My washing machine has gone belly up and my sister in Dublin has offered to buy me one on her credit card. Is there any way of doing that in the UK?

She could buy it on line with Argos and have it delivered to your home address.

barnaby-bear

Foofur wrote: »

Thank you all for your advice. I'm from Dublin so getting to offices there shouldnt be a problem. Yes, I can assure you they are all his children! There was no major drama to the split up, we hadnt been getting on for a while and he left yesterday, no-one else involved and no abuse/violence issue.

I have just had some most fantastic friends drop a fridge/freezer full of food in bless them so at least we wont go hungry!

I have called Ocean Finance, and they were as arsey as I expected so not sure where to go with that, as I cannot give them what I do not have, but so far everyone else has been great so hopefully the others will give me a bit of space to get some funds together.

I have no idea where he is and he has his mobile switched off so realistically I'm not going to get any money out of him, I'm relatively resigned to that fact, sadly.

Thanks again for all your advice x

Although a secured loan, in practice the worse they can do is put a charge on the property for when it is sold. Theoretically they could go for a charging order to force a sale but probability a court would allow that with 3 small children and these circumstances is nil so priority is the mortgage and council tax. Best to make a token payment even if only a £1 to show good intentions not to default. Note times and names of calls and request payment is not taken as you have no access to funds with both halifax and loan company although this won't help stop them do it - it may well help you claim back any charges incurred. Explicitly make them aware you can not access the account and have notified them (note time and call so you can ask for recording later if they argue) financial companies have a legal duty to treat customers fairly and since you can't access the account or request an overdraft or payment stopped there is nothing you can do.

I suggested women's aid not because of any implied violence but because they are used to dealing with people who have lost their paperwork through a relationship breakdown.

barnaby-bear

financegirl wrote: »

I'm sorry to sound a cynical woman - but reading threads like this, make me realise that if i am to get married , I'm going to have a few secret accounts 'just in case'.

This is important for everyone - it isn't just relationship breakdown but if a partner suddenly dies or becomes incapable suddenly.

Wee_Bargain_Hunter

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

She could buy it on line with Argos and have it delivered to your home address.

Yes Argos will do this on their UK site. See here. (She might be a bit shocked by the difference in prices!)
Discount codes should still work but not sure if your sister can register with Quidco etc for cashback.

Dixons won't allow you to order from abroad etc.

princess_loki

i have to admit that when i left my partner (of 9yrs) i did take all of the paperwork - just to protect myself BUT i did keep paying half of the mortgage and bills and we had always had our own bank accounts. we opened one joint account and both paid in the same each month and then all bills came out of that.

i know that it is not much help now but in future always 'protect' yourself financially.

i think that advice from previous poster to get in touch with school to both try and get help towards uniform and also get a letter to prove your id is good.

another way of getting id would maybe be to pop into your doctors on tuesday and be nice to the receptionist and get them to do you a letter.

if things get really bad then you could call the police - in fact i think that this would be a good idea anyway both to protect you and the children. you can just call the local station and explain and they will give you a reference number so that if something happens or he comes back and there is a problem about children or an argument you can phone 999 and quote the reference - they will be there really quick and you will not have to explain. also the police have access to the duty social workers which could be helpful.

are you able to get a friend round to help change the locks?

another idea is to phone the samaritans - they will be there all night if you have a panic or something happens.

i really feel for you and it must be hard explaining to the kids.

best of luck and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

loki x

Funkyfarmgirl

do u have parents or family that can help u out at all for now.

Wee_Bargain_Hunter

Just been on the British Bankers Association site about ID requirements & they say that when opening an account:

If you do not have the sort of documents the bank accepts, talk to the staff and explain what sort of documents you can produce. Banks have special procedures to deal with such cases, which may involve consulting a more senior person or specialist part of the bank.

This is the link .
I'm sure there must be something that the Halifax can do for you since you already have the account and have provided ID before. It is an emergency after all. Perhaps you could ask over on the money boards here.
Like another poster suggested, it may also be worth looking at the Womens Aid website for some practical advice or useful links. Here are some useful links one two. Also there is a leaflet to download from here about financial arrangements.
In glancing at these links it seems there are crisis loans from the DWP, also other benefits so you could look on the benefit boards here for more advice.