OH wants break after 7 months of marriage!!!

zzzLazyDaisy

kaze wrote: »

i'm probably going to have to sell my house and car and end up giving him half of any profit i make

Not necessarily. The house is in your name and it has been a short marriage. Also you have a child to care for. It is very unlikely that the courts would award him any of the equity in that situation.

But if you are certain the marriage is over, you should see a solicitor. You can't get a divorce until you have been married a year, but the solicitor will be able to tell you what your rights are re the house and car.

Is he giving you money for his daughter? If not make a claim to the CSA, he should be supporting her.

kaze_2

Losing the house and car is the worst case scenario which i'm hoping is not going to happen, have just changed from contributions jsa to income support and now have to wait 13wks for help for the mortgage, spoke to cccs and found out that my outgoings are £350 month more than my incomings, not sure how they work that out as i'm sure i can live for lot less than their computer allows for. so now need to plead with the bank to make sure they pay all my payments up to the end of the year and sell as many things as i possibly can to try and make up any difference between outgoings and incomings, funny thing is once mortgage paid i am going to be better off than i have ever been when i was working full time and earning decent money. No wonder some single mums don't want to work, i have worked out that by the time i have paid childcare and travel i will have just about enough to cover the mortgage and nothing to live on and thats earning the average wage for the area i live in, the whole benefits system has gone mad, i want to work, been going mad being stuck at home and dd needs to be in nursery as its good for her, but on paper its looking like i shouldn't even bother as i will be better off, surely thats not right??

daphne_descends

OP your H sounds like a knob, people can split hairs over you asking him to leave but why the hell shouldn't you have? He doesn't get any moral high ground for asking for 75 a week pocket money (at age 28 LOLOLOLOL) and spending it on fags - what a LOSER!

You are SO better off without him and so is your daughter - honestly what kind a man doesn't change his kids nappies or give them a bath?

RAS

kaze wrote: »

spoke to cccs and found out that my outgoings are £350 month more than my incomings, not sure how they work that out as i'm sure i can live for lot less than their computer allows for.

You certainly can. For instance they allow nearly £300 for groceries and £50 for clothes for a family of 4. Many people on MSE would get that down to £125 -150 and about £10 by careful menu planning, shopping, joining www.freecycle.org (or its new incarnation) etc.

I suggest you go over to old style and or the DFW forums and put up you own Statement of Affairs so you can devise a budget you can live with. Then you are no selling stuff uneccesarily.

Have you sorted out maintainance yet?

fantasia322

viktory wrote: »

Your thread title is wrong. From what I can gather in your first post, you asked him to leave. I agree he should be supporting you and your child but kicking him out is hardly the adult mature way of dealing with things, is it? Quite frankly, after only 7 months of marriage you should both be trying harder to make things work.

You cannot claim HB on a property you own. The state will pay the interest only on your mortage after 13 weeks - and only on a mortgage £200k or under.

I actually really get the impression you were unhappy in the relationship and are using this as an excuse.

It's easy to kick your man out when you have the security of knowing that the state will keep you and your child reasonably comfortably.

Your poor child - another one to grow up without a father in life.

Bit unfair as you are assuming that the OP will not allow her childs father to be in its life. You also make it sound like single mothers do a bad job. I know some single mothers (who are single through no fault of their own) and are doing a fantastic job of parenting, are NOT on benefits, who ex's have been actively encouraged the share the parenting but absent themsleves from their children through choice. Please don't tar everyone with the same brush. Very judgmental IMHP

RachelW1987

fantasia322 wrote: »

Bit unfair as you are assuming that the OP will not allow her childs father to be in its life. You also make it sound like single mothers do a bad job. I know some single mothers (who are single through no fault of their own) and are doing a fantastic job of parenting, are NOT on benefits, who ex's have been actively encouraged the share the parenting but absent themsleves from their children through choice. Please don't tar everyone with the same brush. Very judgmental IMHP

I agree totally!!

My OH is the youngest in a single parent home as his father used to be violent to his mother so she left as she didn't want her children to witness it.

She did a bloody fantastic job and worked 6 nights a week in a care home to provide for her kids! His gran used to look after them on a night time. My OH has a great job and a home and car of his own

So much for growing up fatherless eh??

fantasia322

Considering my thanks count it is quite obvious that my 'smug, judgemental comments' are shared by many on MSE. It is also clear I have helped many, many people.

You all need to grow up a bit and realise that people have differing opinions and are perfectly entitled to post those opinions. quote.

Oh dear viktory, Having a high thanks count does not make it clear that you have helped many, many people.
It just means that he who shouts loudest gets heard.
Just because a lot of people click thanks it doesnt mean they have been helped, it simply means that 'they have clicked thanks.
I'll take it you know a lot about being single parent, that you are able to show the pitfalls so eloquently. I would think that the ones, who are best able to help are the one's who have been there and done that. I daresay that you may have helped some, but its obvious from this thread the the OP doesnt need your type of help so perhaps it would be kinder to put up or shut up.

astonsmummy

viktory wrote: »

The conceived a child and therefore must have loved - or at least liked :rolleyes: each other once. Both parents have a responsibility to the child to try and make the relationship work. 7 months is not trying terribly hard. Of course, there will always be circumstances when the relationship is not working.

People give up too easily these days.



:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Considering my thanks count it is quite obvious that my 'smug, judgemental comments' are shared by many on MSE. It is also clear I have helped many, many people.

You all need to grow up a bit and realise that people have differing opinions and are perfectly entitled to post those opinions.

Oh and if I offend you that much, please put me on ignore.

I wouldn't use a thanks count as an excuse, half of MSE are smug judgemental morons

fantasia322

astonsmummy wrote: »

I wouldn't use a thanks count as an excuse, half of MSE are smug judgemental morons

I have'nt been around long enough to know. I just think people find it a lot easier to to this kind of thing in forums because there is an anonymity that lends a false sense of security IFYSWIM.
I'm as opinionated as the next person if I feel strongly about something.
I just think there's ways to word what you want to say without being intoxicated witih the exhuberance of one's own verbosity, (like Viktory) lol

Jo_F

viktory wrote: »

but the fact remains that children do much better with both mother and father.

I'll just do my Jesus act and resurrect my childrens' father from the urn shall I? What a self righteous, pompous, condescening little twit you are, I hope it is all perfect up there in your ivory tower.

What good is is going to the do the children to be growning up in a house where the mother is running herself ragged trying to do it all, while dad sits there doing nothing, living there rent free and never lifting a finger or contributing a penny to the household? Sure that's going to give them a great idea of what life it like isn't it?