OH wants break after 7 months of marriage!!!

BeenieCat

viktory wrote: »

Oh and you are the !!!!!!. Every child has the right to have two parents - it is definitely, always better for the child.

So you think parents should stay together for the kids no matter how unhappy? :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

kindofagilr

viktory wrote: »

Oh and you are the !!!!!!.

FYI I didnt call you a !!!!!!

RootyTooty_2

Please try to ignore viktory.

This poster seems to enjoy posting smug, judgemental comments.

We all know that two loving parents are the ideal. Unfortunately, some people make lousy parents.

jackiegibbo

Just read your post and am so sorry to hear of your dilema.
Not got much to add really but i do wish people wouldnt come on here and have their little disputes about their opinions as it doesnt help the poster at all

kelloggs36

To the OP, make sure he supports your child, afterall he should not be able to walk away from that responsibility and should be able to maintain contact at all costs. Maybe that will shock him into understanding that things cost money and he can't just behave like a spoilt teenager anymore, expecting you to pick up the tab for everything.

viktory

BeenieCat wrote: »

So you think parents should stay together for the kids no matter how unhappy? :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

The conceived a child and therefore must have loved - or at least liked :rolleyes: each other once. Both parents have a responsibility to the child to try and make the relationship work. 7 months is not trying terribly hard. Of course, there will always be circumstances when the relationship is not working.

People give up too easily these days.

RootyTooty wrote: »

Please try to ignore viktory.This poster seems to enjoy posting smug, judgemental comments.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Considering my thanks count it is quite obvious that my 'smug, judgemental comments' are shared by many on MSE. It is also clear I have helped many, many people.

You all need to grow up a bit and realise that people have differing opinions and are perfectly entitled to post those opinions.

Oh and if I offend you that much, please put me on ignore.

Rev

viktory wrote: »

Every child has the right to have two parents - it is definitely, always better for the child. Sadly, it is now the norm to be a single parent. Doesn't make it right though.

It's far better for a child to be brought up by a single parent in a stable situation than two parents in an unhappy relationship and doing things because they feel they should. It's not 100% always better for a child to have two parents in their life.

My cousin has a child, she's a fantastic mother, sadly the child's father isn't fantastic at all, quite the opposite. He makes the occasion half hearted attempt to see his son, more to appease his own guilt at not bothering than anything else, so now the child has been left wondering why he isn't good enough for his father to bother with, low self esteem etc, and no matter how much his mother tries to boost his confidence, his fathers half hearted attempts and broken promises are damaging the child.

He'd have been much better off if his father had not been present at all in his life.

There is no right or wrong in this type of situation, it's all about finding out what's best for the child involved.

whothrewthat_2

Whilst everyone may berate Vicktory, I actually agree with some of his comments and feel that if someone is looking for advice its better to have a balanced viewpoint than everyone automatically assuming that the OP is in the right. That said there are tactful ways of putting things!

For what its worth, I've added my two'penneth worth below:

My husband has just moved out after 7 months of marriage, mainly because he wants to have all his money for himself.



We have been together for 5 years and have an 18month old, when i first met him i had a good job earning a decent wage, with my own house nice car etc i supported him when he left the army until he found a job, everything was basically ok until i got pregnant and he had to start giving me money to help start saving for things for when baby arrived and when i was on maternity leave, he had £75 pocket money for himself per week to cover things like cigarettes and beer, altho was always asking for more.



To cut a long story short i went back to work but after 10 months got made redundant, company outsourcing to india!??! While i was at work everything seemed to be going ok, we had a lovely wedding in mexico in jan 2009 and i thought things were ok, not brilliant but ok, after all when you have an 18month old its never going to be easy.

But here's the crunch, when i lost my job and money started to get tight things got worse to the point where he has now moved out, have to admit did snap at him and tell him to go as he was expecting me to keep handing over more money when basically there wasn't any money to give.

Everything is in my name so was i wrong to expect him to help me pay for the mortgage, general living etc. Am starting to feel bad for getting him to leave but part of me feels it was the right thing to do, as i have always helped him out but now he doesn't want to help me.

The fact that you told him to leave does put a different spin on things. You say its your house, your car, etc, maybe he feels a bit patronised by the fact that you have effectively reduced him to a lodger status. I do think that expecting him to pay for a house that isn't a joint asset is a bit cheeky, even though he is living there in many ways. True he has a child with you and he needs to contribute to that expenditure, but other than giving you house keeping why should he pay your mortage?

Either you are married or you are not, trying to have a foot in both camps will not work. The message you are sending to him is that I hold all the cards mister and at any point I can give you the boot, effectively you seem to have reduced your marriage to a parent-child relationship and rather than challenging this he has started asking for pocket money!! I'm not justifying his actions, frankly I think he needs to grow a pair, but equally you need to recognise that you have contributed to this situation.

Also, it is incredibly hard leaving the forces after a long period of time, particularly if you have recently been on Operations. You lose a sense of identity and really feel the loss of a routine and status. My OH went through this and his head was all over the place for a good long while, even now he has the odd wobble but is getting there.

I think you were wrong and for the sake of your daughter you really need to give it another go. Mistakes seem to have been made on both sides, but surely its worth fighting for? You both need to have a very frank talk and get your cards out on the table.

Please don't get pushed down the benefits/CSA nightmare road, there may be a way from this if you are both willing to swallow your pride.

I know I sound a bit preachy but its so sad that these days we seem to throw things away without realising that it can work.

Good luck and all the best.

LittleMissAspie

viktory wrote: »

All the OP cares about is her house, her car and how much she can claim.

Are you being offensive on purpose? Of course she cares about her house, do you expect to her be happy to get repossessed? She mentioned a car once as an example of her hard work and she hasn't even asked how much in benefits she can claim. She said she thinks she might be able to get housing benefit.

And by the way I had a miserable childhood as my parents had blazing rows almost every day. The atmosphere was horrible and I wish they had divorced.

princess_loki

RootyTooty wrote: »

Please try to ignore viktory.

This poster seems to enjoy posting smug, judgemental comments.

We all know that two loving parents are the ideal. Unfortunately, some people make lousy parents.

thankfully i have been ignoring viktory for a year now!!! just click on the name, go to the profile and then add to your ignore list - most excellent and highly recommended considering the often nasty and vindictive comments.

love to all
loki x