OH wants break after 7 months of marriage!!!

choccybuttons

Hey hun

Get yourself sorted and put him on a back burner. Thats one thing I did learn from the rocky start I had with DH. When DH realised that I loved him and like being with him but didnt NEED him he soon bucked his ideas up. If he wants to come back it needs to equal terms with him paying ofr the house and car etc.

pretzelnut

kaze wrote: »

I don't know what else to do, when i asked him how long a break he wanted he said it will be as long as it takes. The thing is the longer he is away the harder it will be to take him back, i know that sounds horrible but i don't want to get myself all sorted out and then he wants to come back. Because it will basically be that he left me because i got made redundant and only wants me back because i've got money again.

How long are you supposed to sit waiting dangling on a string. Tell him to sling his hook, he's made his bed now he has to lie in it.

Sounds like he just wants to have his fun then when he's bored of that come running back to you.

You deserve much better and so does your DD.

He cant have it both ways.

kaze_2

princesswoo wrote: »

How long are you supposed to sit waiting dangling on a string. Tell him to sling his hook, he's made his bed now he has to lie in it.

Sounds like he just wants to have his fun then when he's bored of that come running back to you.

You deserve much better and so does your DD.

He cant have it both ways.

Thanks princesswoo and choccybuttons, thats exactly what i am feeling at the moment. Although I do still love him and want things to work out for the sake of DD (yes i know i must be mad), i have decided that i am going to get my act together, sort myself out (lose some weight, was a bit depressed about losing my job and did comfort eat a lot, luckily only 8 weeks) and get my self respect and confidence back and show him that i can survive without him, because i think at the moment he sees it as a bit of a game, (he thinks that if he came back after 2 days then i would have won??) That way if he doesn't come back, i haven't sat and wallowed and if he does come back it will be on a more equal footing (as in i get to actually touch the remote control lol). May sound very cold and calculating but life is to short to waste, but my number one priority is my dd, and her happiness.

pretzelnut

You dont have to be together for your DD to be happy.

I believe it is far better for a child to have parents who are seperated and happy than together and miserable.

Once you put yourself 1st and start to feel better about yourself your DD will benefit, she will see that you are happy and that will make her happy.

When it 1st happened to me it was a struggle to smile, but slowly i got back on my feet its amazing what a bit of lippy and some new killer heels can do for your confidence.

You'll get there - i doubt you'll stay down for long.

But if you do decide to take him back - dont give in to easily - make him work for it, that way you'll know he's serious about making it work.

kaze_2

Didn't think i'd be back on here so soon, really wanted to make things work with OH, and apparently so did he, have just found out though that he has been texting one of my so called friends since jan!!! now the odd text i can handle but 15-20 a night always after i'd gone to bed!!! only reason i found out was because his mobile was in my name and for some strange reason before i rang up to transfer it into his name i looked on net at previous itemised bills, maybe i had a sneaky suspicion, he was even texting her on our wedding day!!! can't believe he went ahead with getting married if he was that unsure and when we broke up she was all nice and offering support saying how horrible he was etc when in reality she was in contact with him, how stupid am i...

Money_maker

Oh Kaze, so sorry for you.

Ditch him and get on with your own life. And ditch her.

Too many threads on here about men treating their partners as 'cash cows'.

Good luck.

BeenieCat

omg kaze that is truly awful, i'm so sorry you're going through this

What a pair of scumbags :mad::mad:

zzzLazyDaisy

I didn't want to read and run. You must be really hurting right now. I am so sorry. There is nothing anyone can say to make it right, but it is true that time is a great healer (yes, I know it's corny, but it is still true).

It isn;t clear to me if you are working at the moment, but if you aren't, please make sure you claim the benefits you are entitled to. You have paid tax all your working life, and that is what taxes are for, to provide a safety net till you get back on your feet. Also your DD deserves the same as any other child in her situation - why do you think you should struggle and she should go without, when other people in your situation claim what they are entitled to?

You will eventually be entitled to help with your mortgage, but you must wait 13 weeks AFTER you first claim. No matter how long you put things off, you will still then have to wait 13 weeks.

Also, I don't know if you like reading? There is a book called 'How to mend a broken heart' by Paul Mc Kenna and Hugh Willbourn. Honestly, I know you won't believe me, but it really is a good book, and it did help me to wake up and get back on my feet when the man who I *believed* to be my soulmate walked out of my life.

Put yourself and your DD first. Whatever you do, do it because it is the best thing for the two of you.

With best wishes

Daisy

kaze_2

have already checked what benefits we can get and am claiming for everything i can, i just feel like such a failure, i have worked since i was 16 worked really hard to work my way up the career ladder in a mostly male dominated environment and now because of some rat bag i'm probably going to have to sell my house and car and end up giving him half of any profit i make, really did think we could work things out but it looks like there was never anything to work out, just don't know why he let the wedding go ahead, although thinking about it, i was the one paying for it all with help from my parents. i am so stupid just thought that after 6 years together that nothing could go wrong

BeenieCat

I don't think you have to sell the house til the kids are over 18 - i'm sure i read that on here somewhere.