MSE Parents Club Part 5

weezl74

Oooooh elle, I'm glad you're there...

Wanted to return to something you said last night about homebirth.

Reassuringly I don't believe from reading the research that the situation you described last night can happen medically. (ie going to 40 weeks with an undiagnosed placental abnormality which ruptures mid-labour as you described)

I'm happy to explain more about why if you'd like.

I'd hate you to feel your choices were limited in the case of a next time, when I don't believe they NEED to be.

However, very few women who've had a traumatic first birth want to be away from the medics at a second birth, so I completely understand if that's not something you would want.

I just wanted to say I do believe you have choices.

As before I hope that's not 'over the line' and it comes with lots of love . I remember you saying you were interested in my 'findings' though, so there you go!

Tine, I also (so as not to leave you out) feel that there are reassurances from yours and Alex's story, but am very happy not to write about that now I know how you feel and that you have decided about a number 2. And I really respect that.

elle_gee

tiamai_d wrote: »

..Oh meant to ask, is the swing a single or can it be a double pump? Because on ebay the pump in styles re going for the same price. (still anrgy about that one that went for £21.99!)

Single only, I think - haven't seen a double convert for it. I think it might be because the Pump In Style is an older model and maybe doesn't have the two-phase expression thingy

elle_gee

weezl74 wrote: »

Oooooh elle, I'm glad you're there...

Wanted to return to something you said last night about homebirth.

Reassuringly I don't believe from reading the research that the situation you described last night can happen medically. (ie going to 40 weeks with an undiagnosed placental abnormality which ruptures mid-labour as you described)

I'm happy to explain more about why if you'd like.

I'd hate you to feel your choices were limited in the case of a next time, when I don't believe they NEED to be.

However, very few women who've had a traumatic first birth want to be away from the medics at a second birth, so I completely understand if that's not something you would want.

I just wanted to say I do believe you have choices.

As before I hope that's not 'over the line' and it comes with lots of love . I remember you saying you were interested in my 'findings' though, so there you go!

Tine, I also (so as not to leave you out) feel that there are reassurances from yours and Alex's story, but am very happy not to write about that now I know how you feel and that you have decided about a number 2. And I really respect that.

Thanks weezl. It was the doctors who treated me who mentioned what I described last night I'm not thinking about it for now though..

My decision to have another child is not only based on the pregnancy/birth but also - hugely! - dependent on what care Rhys needs in the future. While he may be okay day-to-day we still have the possibility of his kidneys packing in (for want of a better phrase) at any stage of growth so we need to be fairly secure with what's going on there first... The thought of being pregnant and then my first born needing a transplant which I couldn't give him (only due to being pregnant) is too much to bear.

SusanC_2

Sami_Bee wrote: »

SM, can you afford te £10 one from llyods?

We had that one and it only just survived long enough for us not to need a new one for Alice.

Sami_Bee wrote: »

I think I get mine around the same time every month :think: I'll have a peek - really need to put money in my account, I think I'm over drawn
only peeps who get it different are like single mums or something who can have it weekly

We get our tax credits weekly. We never asked them to - that's just how it came. And then every time you give them new information (even if it doesn't affect the amount you are getting) they give an extra one off payment and recalculate the weekly payment amount (and don't send us the paper work until after we've started getting different payments). It drives me mad having to change all the weekly payments in my spreadsheet. Also when we first started getting CTC, they were sending us weekly cheques in my name even though they were already paying WTC into our joint account. Who with a newborn baby is going to go to the bank every week to pay cheques in?

Dribblekitten wrote: »

Anyone else tested for Tomy?

I've been a Tomy tester for over a year but never had anything.

SusanC_2

elle_gee wrote: »

The thought of being pregnant and then my first born needing a transplant which I couldn't give him (only due to being pregnant) is too much to bear.

Can you be (or have you been) tested to check if you are a tissue match?

BrunoM

feelinggood wrote: »

Wipes here and no creams. Toby doesn't seem to get irritated by anything. He also doesn't tell me that he needs changing, I just have to keep an eye on him. He'd happily sit there all day if I let him!

Meant to say, wipes here, cotton wool for the first 6 weeks or so though, Sudocrem only when it looks red and sore (maybe once every couple of weeks).

Dribblekitten wrote: »

Hope everyone with tumbling babies, Weezl especially, is ok. These stories are making me start to childproof the house, as well as hearing of a toddler drinking some rinse aid at the weekend (for a dishwasher? I don't have one so don't know) eventhough there was a lock on the door. Must get some cupboard locks.

Elijah has just worked out how to open the washing machine door (BIG yank on the lever...). Combined with his obsession for putting things in or taking them out of containers, ....
He also opened the cutlery draw once and took out a huge carving knife :eek: I turned round and saw him waving it around, almost had a heart attack... child locks on the cutlery and the under-sink stuff now, and more in the post at the moment!

elle_gee wrote: »

I think that's hugely disrespectful, myself..

Elle! I worry about your sleep! are you like Mrs Thatcher? For others its now and again but you're every night!

It certainly is disrespectful. I have to have an inkling of agreement with Sami here though, their pressing themselves on you is disrespectful of you and in fact "most things about the way you live your life" given their message - but "two wrongs don't make a right" I guess. I've never personally been more than curt with them getting the door shut again...

Weezl thanks for your wise thoughts again I agree, rigid time boundaries would be a good for now!

Jvic28

Good Morning everyone!

WEezl74 wrote: »

The bleeding's stopped, but that's mostly cos he hasn't had another poo (again) yet despite the sugar water. Rang the HV, got told we don't really worry until it's been 6 days.

Hi Weezl, I would take him to the GP anyway. At my GP if you take a baby along they can't refuse you. I should imagine it's the same everywhere. Sounds like a bad case of constipation with the bleeding and sticky outie bits!! Ouch! If it gets worse he may stop eating so ignore the HV and take him to the GP.

WEEZL74 wrote: »

JVic sorry you had such bad aftercare, quite a few people have said that about UHW

Yeh, and it didn't get any better when I got home. They took my stitches out at home and a few days later my wound ruptured when I was out. My midwife came and stuck a pad on the hole, came back the next day to steri strip it but didnt have steri strips so had to cut up something else sticky to use, then she left her gloves in the car so had to go get them (i live in flats) then she didn't have any tape to stick another pad on top...I had a different midwife nearly every day and I had to get up every day for weeks to see them even though they don't give you a time (like waiting for a washing machine to be delivered). I know staffing is the problem but they need to try and remember that these aren't everyday occurences for us and can be life changing.

MrsTine wrote: »

as it is then next time I know a lot more and will be a LOT more assertive about being admitted and given a MW earlier than I was this time! And I probably got one a lot earlier than most people as it was but the pain was just so bad! Maybe the fact that gas and air and any of the other painkillers they gave me had no effect is clouding my judgement?

My experience has resulted in me not wanting to go through this again but if an accident were to happen I would probably want a home birth even with the problems I had last time. There's no reason that the next one shouldn't be straight forward. I've been told this wouldn't be possible but I can't understand how they can force me to have my baby at a hospital I don't want to be at.

elle_gee wrote: »

The nurse has just left. Had a long chat with her - she was saying how amazed she was with how well Rhys was doing and how well I'd coped with it all. Was asking lots of questions - I think it was a roundabout way of asking me if I'd got PND

You are doing so well. I remember when you had Rhys as you were due after me but popped before me. I don't know how you've managed with everything going on at the house too, I can barely manage to get dressed well alone anything else. My HV did a questionnaire thing with me and scored it to determine whether I was PND. Have you had that done? To be honest I cried everyday up to filling out that questionnaire and I still came up rosy so I don't know how useful they are.

elle_gee

SusanC wrote: »

Can you be (or have you been) tested to check if you are a tissue match?

Haven't been - as he's not bad enough, nor big enough if he was bad enough, iyswim - but I will of course be if it comes up in the future and would definitely be before considering getting pregnant again.

BrunoM wrote: »

Elle! I worry about your sleep! are you like Mrs Thatcher? For others its now and again but you're every night!

When I was at work, I only ever slept from about half one and would be at work for half eight Now I get to relax all morning and not work at 100mph like I did at work so I'm getting more rest time now than I did at work..

Sami_Bee

Elle - I meant to ask last night, If you were pregnant again wouldn't they look more closely at the placenta etc on scans so therefore you couldn't/shouldn't go into labour undiagnosed? if you had VP again

I had something else... must go look..

ladybirdintheuk

BrunoM wrote: »

Elijah has just worked out how to open the washing machine door (BIG yank on the lever...). Combined with his obsession for putting things in or taking them out of containers, ....
He also opened the cutlery draw once and took out a huge carving knife :eek: I turned round and saw him waving it around, almost had a heart attack... child locks on the cutlery and the under-sink stuff now, and more in the post at the moment!

:eek::eek: I bet you've got a few more grey hairs after that! I got a "starter pack" of babyproofing stuff the other week. I left the box on the floor and Izzy toppled over and banged her face on it. Not quite what I had in mind.

Oh the subject of jehovas witnesses, we got some round here dropping off leaflets. I got chatting to them on my way out as one of them used to be my Home Ec teacher... didn't realise till I got home again what the leaflets were. Good thing the conversation didn't stray far away from babies really, so it didn't get awkward

One of my friends was a jehovas witness. When they came round to my house my mum always felt obliged to let them have a cup of tea. I think they knew not to bother converting her, and just took advantage of a drink and a sit down half way round their route though