MSE Parents Club Part 5

Lu_T

BrunoM wrote: »

Yes, I do ours; I am probably not really a blokey bloke, which is fine with me ;p so I accept your compliment :beer:

I am generally a bit of a control freak - I think I'd find it hard for someone else to do our finances, not in a blokey way, but just because regardless of who it was it wouldn't be me and I would feel anxious not knowing all the details.

It works well for us cuz OH hates math, gets very stressed about money, and as a result is super-uber-awesome-cautious, which I'm not. I kind of feel that with no debts and an income which is way higher than what I used to once think of as "rich" (because I was dumb when young! not because I am actually wealthy...), I'm entitled to some treats I am slowly persuading OH round to my view... how very un-MSE :eek:

Ah no Bruno! MSE is about spending whatever you want (if you can afford it), just getting the best deal on what you buy. It isn't about being thrifty per se, just not paying more than you need to - money saving!! Martin would approve of your attitude :money:

searching_me

mel i think you need to sit with your OH and talk this out properly also the reasons why you are so deseprate to have another one and so if there is a compromise to the problem ... good luck sweetheart x

redmel1621

searching_me wrote: »

mel i think you need to sit with your OH and talk this out properly also the reasons why you are so deseprate to have another one and so if there is a compromise to the problem ... good luck sweetheart x

But his argument is stronger than mine:o....mine is more emotional, which is infinitely harder to put into words...so we end up going round in circles and back again......

Becles

Hope you are ok weezl *hugs*

Buttonmoons wrote: »

How did everyone go about getting their children to read?

I never did any formal sort of teaching with mine. When I read to them, I moved my finger along the words, so they started to realise the funny squiggles must mean something!

We've got magnetic letters on the fridge and foam letters in the bath. I play games with Charlotte - "can you find me a b?" and she'll look for one. We're just starting saying that's b for banana, then I'll take it further and say "let's see if we can make banana with the letters".

I used road signs, food packets, carrier bags, shop fronts - all sorts of stuff like that when I was teaching the boys to read. It's more fun that way, and they seem to learn quicker.

Budgeting - Craig moved into my house and I was already managing fine on my own. He admitted he was pants with money and didn't want a joint account as he has a bad credit rating, and he didn't want to be on the house deeds. He didn't bring any assets into the marriage so feels uncomfortable sharing mine (even though I really don't mind). He wanted the house to stay in my sole name and then it passes to the children when I die. He said he would be happiest sending me a chunk of his wages and he keeps the rest. He pays for his car, his mobile, Sky and the internet and what's left over is his "pocket money". I get the tax credits and child benefit, his contribution and my wages, and run the household budget. Works well as neither complains when the other one spends something.

When I had a joint account with my ex we had so many arguments over money. He thought the ATM balance was up to date. I'd be thinking there was plenty money in the account to cover the direct debits, he'd get a balance and think we were loaded and go spending, then the direct debits would bounce. Some of the marriage, I was in a part time min wage job and the rest I was a SAHM. He was on a very considerable wage and didn't like it when I bought clothes or make up as I was wasting his money.

searching_me

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

MrsTinks

mel you might not want me to say this but yes I think you're being a teeny bit selfish...
But you need to make decisions as a couple - I mean it's easy for me to say that you're being selfish because it's not me I have NO urge for a second child right now - nearly 14 weeks after Madam arrived I can still VIVIDLY remember the birth and the unpleasant parts of the pregnancy... I am in NO hurry to do that again
And one thing that does play on my mind is the fact mums second pregnancy was at least as traumatic as her first... I had serious bleeds this time round... what if something happened to me and poor hubby was stood as a widow with 1 or 2 kids, one a tiny newborn infant? If we were to have any more children then that would need to be taken into consideration - if the worst happened your husband would be on his own with 3 or 4 kids. I know that's a really extreem point - I'm only making it because it's one that I feel I personally need to think about if we have any more Not because I think anything will happen to you!

Look at it this way... you have 3 beautiful healthy children Enjoy them!

ManOnTheMoon

redmel1621 wrote: »

I feel so torn at the moment, I am so desperate to have another baby (grumpy bum today hasn't even put me off) But feel so guilty as dh really doesn't want anymore (yet?)

Put it this way, I never wanted kids. Partner and I had one, didn't want anymore, partner and I had another, split up and I thought that was it for kids. Partner 2 initially moved in straight after partner 1 left as a friend, and the board money came in handy! Got involved, had one kid, didn't want any more and so on and now i'm a single father of 7

To summarise, no more doesn't always mean no more. Likewise, your wanting of one more, may subside.

Sami_Bee

Mel, don't waste your money on 'baby juice' watered down fresh NFC juice is cheaper and IMO tastier
I'm sure you'll be fine to wait a few years for next baby, just ask Tara and Triggles their oldest kids have/are having LO's of their own and they've got newborns (:T I take my hat off to them!)

Buttonmoons

OH leaves all the managing money to me, even though it all goes into his bank account. We keep meaning to get round to making me joint on his ACC, but we are really lazy people! Plus I'm not sure if they would allow me to be joint, as one time when I tried to upgrade my bank account with my bank, they said that they couldn't because I owe arrears on a bank card from when I was 15?! I can't remember that but if that's true, that's my mum who must of did that....Guess I could just spout they are illegal and such like, and tell them I'm not paying it?

If you asked OH when ANY DD came off, he'd not have a clue, he has no idea how much the rent or CT is, the only thing he DOES know is how much electric to put on the key each month, because I send him to the shop to do that

I just his card whenever I feel like, bit wary about doing it in shops as would that be classed as fraud? It's not like he's not given me his pin number....
Though one time I s*** myself, I went to Asda and did a huge shop, and my dad and mum were giving me a lift back, must of came to about £90, and his card wouldn't work in the machine :eek: so he had to swipe it, and I had to sign it.....good job the guy didn't look closely, because I don't really look like a MR, and I did a scribble that resemble OH's name, on the bit of paper he made me sign (which thankfully he also didn't check) So for that reason, I tend to go to an ATM beforehand now. Had visions of being carted away into a backroom and made to wait for the cops as my ice cream melted. Traumatising!

I feel quite bad because I probably spend most of the money, not OH, all he wants each month is £10 for his gaming magazines and the occasional £10 to go out to the pub and watch football. I don't know why he acts like I will say no? He came home today and asked if he could go to the pub tonight to watch football (it turns out its actually tomorrow) and the way he said it, was like broaching the subject of him impregnating someone else. I wonder if I really am a mean b****, I blame the implant.

Mrstine - Those recipes sound good thanks, could you post them for me please

Sami - I know, what a cheek, I'd be the one wasting money on bus fares or whatever picking the thing up. Are they allowed to charge to pick up? I don't wanna message her and p*** her off if I do buy it, she might pee on it first!

Weezl - you have to tell us

Buttonmoons

Oh and thanks for the good ideas about teaching her words.

She can do all those things already, like count to 10, and can actually tell you the amount, if you remove 6 of them or whatever, she knows it's 4. She can say her full name and age, it sounds dead cute -

What's your name?
Keira McMillan!
How old are you?
I'm 3 year old, and Keira be 3 and then Keira go to URSERY!!

Dunno why she always talks about herself in the 3rd person, thought you had to be super rich and posh before you did that

She can dress herself, and goes N U T S if I try and assist, all I get is "ILL DO IT MYSELF!" and we use velcro trainers She can't wipe her butt yet though!

Oh and I've noticed she has started with the "Whys" and "Wheres"

Give her something...."oooh mummy where'd you buy that" "Lidl" "ooooohhh lidl, I like this!"

"Muuuuum why you brushing your hair"

"Muuuuum where you get Archie from"

"Muuuum your bum smells like cheesey pie" <--- Yes she said that to me today. It bleeming does not!!