I'm working for the cash machine - my diary

Shoe_Gal

Hi gwen

Sorry you're still feeling a bit bleurghhh Do you get the long weekend off at Easter? Maybe add a couple of extra days onto that?

gwen80

Yeah, I'm thinking of doing that. Think I need some time off. I feel very tired and bleurghh.

Just laughing at the 'mouseprice' house valuation tool which reckons my house is now worth £174k :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Gwenx

Shoe_Gal

I take it you don't agree??? :eek:

gwen80

No, I doubt it's even worth £100k without the work doing on it. Even totally done up, it wouldn't be anywhere near that much! If it was I'd have sold it and moved already, considering I owe about £75k on my mortgage now. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Lula-Hula

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Phew :eek: Sounds complicated! I need to do some anti virus stuff - it's lurking on my list

Ugh, me too & also that 'defraggging' malarkey that sounds far ruder & more fun that it probably is

Well done on producing another scary looking list & hurray for time off at easter to eat guilt-free chocolate :j

gwen80

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Ugh, me too & also that 'defraggging' malarkey that sounds far ruder & more fun that it probably is

It really wasn't that bad. I just downloaded some stuff, then installed it and ran it (get me all technological ). The running scans took a while, but you can walk away while that's going.

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Well done on producing another scary looking list & hurray for time off at easter to eat guilt-free chocolate :j

And not completing any of it!! :eek: I think I'm running low on energy and enthusiasm and a break will do me good. Only had a few long weekend since Christmas and it's been a very long three months...

Well done on the debt! Coming down nicely!! :j:j

Gwenx

gwen80

Hmm well, interesting week. I was prescribed antidepressants last week, but they made me feel awful...well I'm sure some of it was side effects, but I'm not sure all of it was. I saw a psychiatrist on Wednesday who says that I have depression and anxiety. I left feeling like a failure, that I clearly can't handle everything going on in my life I remembered something that Shoe Gal said though...that you should treat yourself more as you would treat a friend. If a friend sat down and said to me 'This has been happening and this and this and this and I've been dealing with it all on my own for the last 6 years' and now I'm depressed and have anxiety I would never say they were a failure. I'd say 'Well it's completely understandable, but now you need to concentrate on getting yourself better'. Sooo, I'm trying to remember this, not easy because I think the natural tendency is to be very self-critical. I now have new antidepressants and I've been signed off work for two weeks. I'm taking things one day at a time. I've woken up with some energy today for the first time in over a week, so I've done a bit of tidying and put the bins out. I have to post my note into work later. I'm very fortunate that I have excellent private health cover through work, so I'm getting treatment privately and I'm hoping to start counselling next week. I'm going to get this sorted. I have my lists, but they're not really a priority at the moment. I will try and keep the house tidy and sorted as I know it gets me down when it isn't and I'll do other things as and when I feel I can, but I'm not going to push myself to get things done like I have done in the past. Phew, what a post, not an easy one, but it's out there now.

Gwenx

gwen80

Ok, bedding is off the bed and the washing machine is going. I need to go to the shop for a stamp to post my note into work. I need to sort out the post in a minute, as I haven't even opened most of this week's Some good news is that I just checked quidco and currently at received are £55 from Hastings Direct, £20 from A&L, £10 from Lloyds TSB credit card, £1.30 from M&S and 9p from Play.com, so I reckon that's £86.39 that should pay out this month. That will go straight to my Santander credit card and will take it well under £1800 :T I need to do a snowball calculator I think because at my current rate of paying off it will take quite a while to get rid of and I need to figure out how I can do it quicker. A job for later...

Gwenx

makeup

Hey Gwen

I'm really glad you're getting the medical help you need.

Getting depression and suffering with anxiety are not things that you 'get because you are not strong enough'. Some people get depression even when everything in their life is fine, it can be a reaction to a serious life event but not necessarily.

I hope that your counsellor can give you some good coping strategies for when things are tough....and they have been very tough for you and you have had to deal with everything on your own.

I don't think you can under-estimate the power of exercise and fresh air. I know it isn't that appealing going out at the moment (we have quite a bit of rain at the moment) but just the process of getting ready to go out and then getting out for a walk, blow some cobwebs away and get some exercise can be really beneficial. One of my friends loves horse riding like you and she has been going through a very tough time at work and her Sunday morning ride has totally saved her. I can't remember what the situation is re: riding (whether you are fit enough after your injury to do it) but could you consider booking an easy ride at all??

I hope that you feel better soon, don't give yourself too big a list to complete and definitely do things that make you feel good.

Take care xx

Shoe_Gal

Hi Gwen

Sounds like fab advice from makeup :A I too am glad you are getting the treatment you need, you are not a failure

Take care of you