Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

clairehi

brazilianwax wrote: »

thanks for that - think we have it all covered

Wow - you're either psychic, very rich or incredibly arrogant - which one is it?

Skippycat

OH and I aren't married but have been living together for about 3 years. Each month we both put £600 each into a joint account. This covers all bills, food and mortgage. The remainder stays in our own accounts and we spend it on whatever we like / need. If going for a night out / meal which just pay 50 / 50 or buy rounds. It's worked well so far :beer:

clairehi

flea72 wrote: »

Having yours and mine money, only works long-term if you both have equal, sustained income. what happens when one or other of the couple have no income, or its reduced. Will the other be prepared to share then?

easiest to work out the finances from day one, that way no resentment can set in, youd be surprised how precious people can get, because they now have to share their money

I have many friends following the yours and mine money system, and all of the women who are now working p/t or staying at home to look after the kids are getting the thin end of the wedge. Still having to contribute, but being left with no free money of their own. Some of the ones who are sahp basically have to live on their child benefit (but some OHs have even set this up, so payments go into the their account)

Flea

100% agree with this. Separate finances all very well unless you have CHILDREN CHILDREN CHILDREN ie when one partner gives up paid employment for unpaid "in the home" work.

If you have jointly agreed to have kids, one parent staying at home to care for them, the other going out to work, then you have to recognise this somehow and joint finances are the most simple way.

I know SAHMs (not necessarily married!) who are dependent on their OH paying "pocket money" into their bank accounts from which they are expected to cover housekeeping, kids clothes etc. what a miserable way to carry on.

janninew

If you are married and the worst comes to the worst and you get divorced, it doesn't matter one jot if you have separate bank accounts which i'm getting the impression on here that some people don't understand how it works! Solicitors and courts look at all assests and bank accounts and if its a straight split (no adultery), chances are that money is going to be split equally, regardless of who's money it actually is and who's account its sat in! In the eyes of the law when your married everything is owned jointly! Not sure how it works if your just living together as a couple though, don't have experience of that.

hayley11

flea72 wrote: »

but you are paying your way, by contributing £10k to the 'household' pot - who spends it and where, has no consequence on the other. if you werent spending his cash on things for yourself, you would be spending your own. everything gets paid for, you just dont have to have a label on whos money it is

Flea

This exactly how I see it. It doesn't matter who contributes how much, it's not a contest

It is interesting to see how others do it though because for me, I can't imagine it working any other way but then obviously people can't see it working our way either

chewmylegoff

we pay half the rent each, sort of have the bills split down the middle - she pays some, i pay the others, we never actually tally up to see if the split is fair but it's probably about right - otherwise our finances are separate apart from an empty joint account which we set up to build up holiday spending money in but couldn't be bothered to use. we take it in turns to pay for nights out together.

i earn nearly twice as much as her - i tried to get her to agree to a 60/40 split on the rent once to reflect this difference, but she got very cross with me for suggesting something so "unfair", so i just left it! seems to be working.

suki1964

Joint accounts here and have done from the day he moved in with me and we decided we needed to buy a home together

Over the years (19) our finances have changed, from me being the main earner, him having a dependent children from a previous relationship, his earnings increasing and overtaking mine, me being too ill to work, me working for minimum wage...........

But the bills get covered, the commitments we have are funded and we have savings and we spend what we want on ourselves as we want.

bambammy

I have recently cancelled my wedding because of these issues. I don't know what OH earns.
He wants me to be a SAHM. I'm regretting ever agreeing to it.

When disputes occur and I insist on a job part time, so I can have £ to buy underwear, socks, shoes etc, he agrees saying that's fine....but...when I start looking, suddenly my sleep issues gets worse.

I have a feeling it's something to do with him admitting to me one time that, he plays with my hair and stokes my face whilst i'm sleeping. I then become to tired to face job hunting. My sleep disorder feels like a full time job, just maintaining it. Interuptions in the night sends my hard work back weeks. He knows what buttoms sends my routine haywire and I believe he's working those buttons to his wants.

He pays the bills, and the weekly £ amount I get covers food, fuel and school dinners, pocket money etc.

Issues became more serious because he is his families cash cow....he pays for everything. For example, pays for his mothers dogs to get coats trimmed and pays £48 and gives a £12 tip. I go to the local college for hair cuts, and have been shopping at charity shops for clothes. Prior to us meeting, I would do these things because I chose to, not because I have to.

Two weeks before our wedding, MIL gets a new wedding ring. MIL also gets paid for her by my OH, a two bedroom holiday cottage, she uses 4/6 times a year. She's suppose to be retiring to it.
If she would retire as she keeps saying, yet keeps changing it, we would be £210 a week better off. ( it's more than £210 a week if the council tax for cottage and the bills that he pays were taken into the equation, along with the 400 round mile trip for fuel he pays for, to drive her to the cottage )

Time for me to take some control back.
Starting with, getting sleep sorted.

[Deleted User]

brazilianwax wrote: »

I'm married and don't have a joint account with my husband. The only thing that is joint is the mortgage.

It's nothing to do with commitment - we are happy with the arrangement. We split bills according to the ratio of our salaries rather than 50/50. That includes all joint items including holidays etc. What's left is ours to save (against the offset mortgage) or spend as we see fit. He spends a fortune brewing beer and I spend money on clothes

I don't tell him what to do with the money he earns and he doesn't tell me what to do with mine. Somehow it works.

I don't really care what people think about it. I didn't change my name on marriage, nor my title and I don't see why I should change the way I run my finances just because I said 'I do'

Sounds like your proud of being 'separate' from your husband. :-)

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote:

Hi,

must be an English thing this distrust, surely if you are happy living with partner, renting, mortgage, kids? then you are happy together.

If you are thinking about what happens if we splilt, then no point of getting together, think hard, it's nice idea to think, ok, I'm leaving home to be with partner, but life isn't always rosie.

English or British? Which one do you mean here?