Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

beccam

geri1965 wrote: »

I would never have a joint account with anyone, ever, after having one with my ex husband.

I earned £13k, he earned nothing and he cleaned me out all the time taking money to go to football, clubbing etc. whilst I was struggling to pay the mortgage and bills.

Learnt my lesson there, now what I earn is mine and mine alone.

Maybe the problem was more to do with the wrong man rather than a joint account??

flea72

brazilianwax wrote: »

it's a lot fairer than a 50/50 split and me taking some of his money for makeup spending!

so, if your OH had £500 left at the end of the month, and you had £10 you would still think the percentage split was fair?

because our non-essential spending isn't equal :rolleyes:

from that i read your OH is a spendthrift, or you dont want them to know that you are

not in my experience. our mortgage/household bills are deliberately set up to be affordable on either income, and don't need both. of course if one of us were out of work the other would cover more - that's how the ratio works! we share the joint bills, whatever they are. it's the non essentials that would take a hit if our joint income were reduced. we don't need the money to be in one account to manage that.

so either of you is happy to go cap in hand to the other money? because i get the impression its not, as you like to have financial independance

i disagree completely. have you ever seen how complex it is to untangle joint finances if you split up?

you think having separate accounts makes splits easier? no, all it means is one partner can hide their money from the other, leaving the other even more financially restricted than when they were in the relationship

we're not all the same. OH wants kids, I probably don't. If we had them it would be likely to be him that stayed home, and his line of work would allow him to still earn if he did. either way, bills would get paid

Bills are not the crux of this discussion, its more about who has control of the money for the non-essential spends. In most instances, its the main breadwinner who has the most financial freedom

We came into the relationship with different backgrounds, experiences and individual finances, and we're happy keeping it that way

In most relationships there comes a point where one person has to be financially dependant on the other, thats when keeping things the same way, results in unhappiness

Flea

The_Banker_5

beccam wrote: »

Maybe the problem was more to do with the wrong man rather than a joint account??

I think thats the problem with a lot of people who have single accounts.;)

They are with the wrong person and dont want to commit.;):p

***sits and awaits the backlash whilst supping a large malt***


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! lovely:D

MrsE_2

flea72 wrote: »

In most relationships there comes a point where one person has to be financially dependant on the other, thats when keeping things the same way, results in unhappiness

Flea

We share everything without a second thought.

DH earns more & is happy to cover the lions share of the bills.

But if I need to get money off him for something I certainly don't have to pay it back & vice versa.

Rolandtheroadie

The_Banker wrote: »

I think thats the problem with a lot of people who have single accounts.;)

They are with the wrong person and dont want to commit.;):p

***sits and awaits the backlash whilst supping a large malt***


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! lovely:D

Spot on. The guys at work who dont have a joint account are more likely to have had a fall out with the OH.
Coincidence? Doubt it.

Torry_Quine

Well I'm married and we don't have a joint account. This is in way a sign of lack of commitment! You can't judge other people by your own insecurities!!

skylight

OH and I used to be joint account and everything went through it. I was one of those who posted here who couldn't understand why some married couples were not like this!

Then after spending years earning more than he and still splitting equally what was left, the tables turned. I was now a SAHM reliant on him. And he hated splitting what was left, he hated splitting it even 30/70 in his favour! So I worked out the bills, took his share off him and left him with all his leftovers (sort of..... I would add a small sum for me lol!) and even though this left him with almost the same money he didn't mind this! For a while anyway.

Roll on several years later and despite being married for 9 year (today!) and together for 16 years, we now have seperate accounts. He just spends money like there is no tomorrow - he is one of these who sees something cheap so therefore it must be a bargain! He is the one in debt now, not me and I have meagre savings that he knows nothing about; because he would spend it if he did.

I am not claiming to be an angel with my finances and I like to spend sometimes too, but I can no longer allow him to bring me down finacially. And so far I like it! Even though I still have to fight to get some money off him for kids uniforms/clubs etc. And then I am still dumb enough to sub him at the end of the month because he has spent all his money and he has DDs coming out - or he "needs" some fags and hasn't got enough.

You know, the more I write about him, the more I wonder why I am still with him!! LOL!

hayley11

brazilianwax wrote: »

Now that I absolutely could not do.

Why is that? Is it a pride thing?

At the moment, my OH pays for all our "extras" because my income barely even covers the bills. But i'm happy and he's happy.

hayley11

I think those who say if you don't have a joint account it means you're not fully committed is a bit daft. You can't really judge somebody's commitment based on their bank account situation! There could be many reasons why couples don't have a joint account. Like some have said, credit history is one of them and it's a very good reason.

Having a joint account works well for us but doesn't mean it works well for everybody else, we're all different after all

The_Banker_5

skylight wrote: »

You know, the more I write about him, the more I wonder why I am still with him!! LOL!

Keep writing then and you might have left him by the end of the night.:D