Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

MrsE_2

**confuzzled** wrote: »

And just for the record, we're both in our 20s:D I don't like the misconception my friends have that the 'yours is mine and mine is yours' is strictly for the over 50s:rolleyes:

Or in my house, whats his is mine & whats mine is my own:rotfl:

Dinah93

I didn't really want to get financially linked to someone before marriage, because I don't have a great credit record. However my OH earns half what I do, but we split all costs equally, and in the end he told me to cop on, we don't need any loans or credit cards and would be linked anyway if we get a mortgage, and it was so difficult trying to half be seperate and half not.

I understand it works for some people, but a lot more people who have seperate accounts seem to have difficulties when the other half isn't putting in what they agreed to. I never ask for the okay to buy something from the spends budget unless it was going to take up all the spends money for the month or something!

Also families with children, the woman often will take a financial hit and is less likely to get promoted or climb the ladder by having kids - does this mean she gets 'compensated' by the husband?! And when you have a child this has to change things, you can't split one of those down the middle!

brazilianwax

flea72 wrote: »

but even splitting bills on ratios doesnt work out fairly

it's a lot fairer than a 50/50 split and me taking some of his money for makeup spending!

flea72 wrote: »

why not put it all in the pot, and then share the left-overs, equally?

because our non-essential spending isn't equal :rolleyes:

flea72 wrote: »

Having yours and mine money, only works long-term if you both have equal, sustained income. what happens when one or other of the couple have no income, or its reduced. Will the other be prepared to share then?

not in my experience. our mortgage/household bills are deliberately set up to be affordable on either income, and don't need both. of course if one of us were out of work the other would cover more - that's how the ratio works! we share the joint bills, whatever they are. it's the non essentials that would take a hit if our joint income were reduced. we don't need the money to be in one account to manage that.

flea72 wrote: »

easiest to work out the finances from day one, that way no resentment can set in, youd be surprised how precious people can get, because they now have to share their money

i disagree completely. have you ever seen how complex it is to untangle joint finances if you split up?

flea72 wrote: »

I have many friends following the yours and mine money system, and all of the women who are now working p/t or staying at home to look after the kids are getting the thin end of the wedge. Still having to contribute, but being left with no free money of their own. Some of the ones who are sahp basically have to live on their child benefit (but some OHs have even set this up, so payments go into the their account)

we're not all the same. OH wants kids, I probably don't. If we had them it would be likely to be him that stayed home, and his line of work would allow him to still earn if he did. either way, bills would get paid

flea72 wrote: »

as said above, we are a partnership and everything is split equally, be that debts, savings, bills or spends

Flea

We came into the relationship with different backgrounds, experiences and individual finances, and we're happy keeping it that way

[Deleted User]

Hi,

must be an English thing this distrust, surely if you are happy living with partner, renting, mortgage, kids? then you are happy together.

If you are thinking about what happens if we splilt, then no point of getting together, think hard, it's nice idea to think, ok, I'm leaving home to be with partner, but life isn't always rosie.

brazilianwax

[Deleted User] wrote:

Hi,

must be an English thing this distrust, surely if you are happy living with partner, renting, mortgage, kids? then you are happy together.

I'm not English, nor do I mistrust

[Deleted User] wrote:

If you are thinking about what happens if we splilt, then no point of getting together, think hard, it's nice idea to think, ok, I'm leaving home to be with partner, but life isn't always rosie.

you miss the point. the divorce rate is high, and everyone goes into marriage thinking they will never split up. but people do. a good friend is divorcing and she's having a nightmare sorting out the joint finances. why complicate things unneccessarily by having joint finances for the sake of it?

MrsE_2

[Deleted User] wrote:

Hi,

must be an English thing this distrust, surely if you are happy living with partner, renting, mortgage, kids? then you are happy together.

If you are thinking about what happens if we splilt, then no point of getting together, think hard, it's nice idea to think, ok, I'm leaving home to be with partner, but life isn't always rosie.

We operate two accounts.

No mistrust, I could log onto his account now & I know (& use) his PIN.

He knows mine too.

Meadows

Since day one my husband and I have had joint accounts, the only time I have a single account is when I am not a tax payer and can get gross interest on 'OUR' money. As these are internet accounts we can both get access if needs be. Although other half has always been the main income earner I have managed the accounts, we both have complete trust in each other and have no need for separate money.

flea72

MrsE wrote: »

DH & I have separate accounts.

He's self employed so needs his own, I have mine for my wages. But we share everything (well he pays nearly everything:o, but he earns more).

We also have a little used joint account.

i dont think having separate accounts is what is being questioned. its more, about who pays for what in the relationship

If one person is doing better financially out of the partnership, then i cant see how the relationship can survive, unless the person with the lower income is happy to support someone who has more money than them

i cant think of any other situation where someone would be willing to do that, without resentment setting in

Flea

brazilianwax

MrsE wrote: »

DH & I have separate accounts.

He's self employed so needs his own, I have mine for my wages. But we share everything (well he pays nearly everything:o, but he earns more).

Now that I absolutely could not do.

MrsE_2

flea72 wrote: »

i dont think having separate accounts is what is being questioned. its more, about who pays for what in the relationship

If one person is doing better financially out of the partnership, then i cant see how the relationship can survive, unless the person with the lower income is happy to support someone who has more money than them

i cant think of any other situation where someone would be willing to do that, without resentment setting in

Flea

OK

My DH pays for nearly everything because he earns more.

But neither of us is any better off than the other.