Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

[Deleted User]

janninew wrote: »

If you are married and the worst comes to the worst and you get divorced, it doesn't matter one jot if you have separate bank accounts which i'm getting the impression on here that some people don't understand how it works! Solicitors and courts look at all assests and bank accounts and if its a straight split (no adultery), chances are that money is going to be split equally, regardless of who's money it actually is and who's account its sat in! In the eyes of the law when your married everything is owned jointly! Not sure how it works if your just living together as a couple though, don't have experience of that.

Exactly. As far as the law is concerned it aint separate.

[Deleted User]

GPedro wrote: »

So you believe he stays awake half the night intentionally keeping you awake, in order to make you so tired that you can't face looking for a job?

Interesting...

Never mind cancelling the wedding - if you genuinely believe what you just wrote, then you need to run away.. and quickly.

Thats very scarey....

miserly_mum

My OH works and i'm a SAHM (until our youngest starts school).The guys he works with just couldn't believe it when he told them I "control" all our finances.

We have 4 bank accounts between us .All are accessible online and he wouldn't have a clue whats in any of them. I deal with everything because I am at home all day and have the time to do it. He is by his own admission crap with money and doesn't want the hassle of doing the monthly budget.

This works for us because he trusts me 100% not to bankrupt him. He never questions what I spend and I wouldn't betray the trust he has in me by wasting his wages on tat.

All money is classed as family money (we have 3 kids) and goes into the pot. This was the same when I was working and will continue once I go back to work. OH values what I do as a SAHM and I respect him working hard to "provide" for all of us. I know our system wouldn't work if he felt in anyway resentful about me not having an income.

He got a lot of stick from the guys in work until he pointed out that unlike most of them (who do the his and hers money thing)
1. we aren't skint 2 weeks out of every month,desperately waiting for pay day.
2.He drives a good car which isn't on the drip.
3.He only wears designer clothes (bought at discount price and through a casback site but he doesn't tell them that bit )
4. when he gets invited out with the lads his decision to go or not go doesn't have to be based solely on wether he can scrape the money together but on wether he feels like going.
5. we do this on one income while they are struggling on two :T

Dinah93

Good post miserly_mum. Thats exactly what OH and I are striving towards. Unfortunately at the moment we still suffer from skintness as our wages are £2565 after tax, after rent, savings for our own house and petrol are taken off this, we're looking at £705 between us to pay all phone bills, car tax, MOT and maintenance (on two cars), dental, optical, prescriptions, the dreaded gym, holidays (mostly trips back to Ireland to see OH family) and then some spending money left over, so we're still at the work wear in Asda stage. Once we get our own place though hopefully we'll be closer to work, so the mortgage + bills + petrol might be less than £1860 a month and we'll have a bit more to enjoy.

code-a-holic

Our situation is the same as yours miserly mum.
Im a SAHM to 4 children while my husband works. He has no idea how much money we have in our joint bank account or how much bills are, as a SAHM im in charge of the finances. We were only discussing this a few days ago as a friend and her husband have never shared a bank account and this lack of commitment has lead to their marriage breakdown (not my words, hers!)
I was pointing out to my husband that having me in charge of finances makes me indisposable to him, in a jokingly way! And he said, if we hadnt merged our accounts before getting married he would have had second thoughts about our compatibility, as a married couple we should be a team and merging our accounts is very important in achieving this.
I also like my position of control! hee hee! My husband likes to be the macho male bringing home the money for the family and i make the most of the money in a way that benefits us all.
Im sure this set up wont work for everyone - i have old fashioned ideas of marriage and the joint account matches these ideas i guess.
My brother in law and his wife have seperate accounts and he is the only earner. Pay day week will see him give her a tiny bit of money for housekeeping then buy the latest bit of technology and eating out, then 2 weeks before pay day there is no money left for nappies. This is more than a seperate bank account issue and more his spending habits, but a joint bank account would giver her more control to stop this.

MrsE_2

flea72 wrote: »

but you are paying your way, by contributing £10k to the 'household' pot - who spends it and where, has no consequence on the other. if you werent spending his cash on things for yourself, you would be spending your own. everything gets paid for, you just dont have to have a label on whos money it is

Flea

:T:T:T:T:T

Exactly all money earned is joint money, no matter which of us earns it. We are a team & a partnership.

moiramber

Me and my OH have had joint accounts since moving in together. The who earns most money has changed loads and varies month to month. It works really well having everything shared. I think we would fight more if everything wasn't shared as I'd feel resentful if he had loads of money and I was skint and vice versa!

miserly_mum

Dinah93 wrote: »

we're still at the work wear in Asda stage. .

ASDA .....Thats posh ,i'm more yer ebay/charity shop/primark type of girl :rotfl:

OH likes his labels. It's really his only self indulgence (apart from beer :beer:)

bambammy

I do yeah believe that, it happens to often. OH only needs 4/5 hours sleep a night. Can't remember the last time I had a full week awake consistant. He knows what messes up my consistancy with maintaining a sleep disorder. MY OH is a mummies boy and been hen pecked all his life. He's not daft, but he's not street wise and doesn't want to admit or see what his family do to him by means of emotional blackmail and control and money grabbing. I now see him doing to me what they are still doing to him.

He's self employed and says he would rather me help with the business, which I've done. Built a website, brought in new customers, but it doesn't work, because almost the whole family have a finger in the business pie, and I'm presented with constant negativity from them and this is grinding and he won't grow a pair of balls and back me up. I'm convinced they don't want to give up the golden egg.

Recently, he has been trying, but, it's to little to late. Me and the children suffer finacially so he can finace his mums holiday home and other such likes.
It';s a fiasco when a bill comes in. Yet he recently bought a tractor, and MG convertible and MR2. ( all cheap bargins he stated ) yeah rightho.

GPedro wrote: »

So you believe he stays awake half the night intentionally keeping you awake, in order to make you so tired that you can't face looking for a job?

Interesting...

Never mind cancelling the wedding - if you genuinely believe what you just wrote, then you need to run away.. and quickly.

miserly_mum

code-a-holic wrote: »

My brother in law and his wife have seperate accounts and he is the only earner. Pay day week will see him give her a tiny bit of money for housekeeping then buy the latest bit of technology and eating out, then 2 weeks before pay day there is no money left for nappies. This is more than a seperate bank account issue and more his spending habits, but a joint bank account would giver her more control to stop this.

I know so many couples where thats the situation and personally I couldn't live like that.

Surely it's just common sense to have all the essentials like nappies food etc covered so that you can spend and enjoy whats left without worrying.Irrelevant of who's paying for it.

Or is that just me