Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

Margaret52129

hayley11 wrote: »

Well my OH doesn't find it degrading in the slightest. He has "spending money" each month that he can do what he wants with. Just like I do. It's only something expensive that he has to ask me about, just to see if we have enough spare. And if I want something expensive, i'll ask him first, even though i'll know if we can afford it or not.

The only reason we do things like this is because I am good with money and he isn't. I can budget whereas he'd just spend it all and then worry later.

Been married over 30 years - with a joint account from word go. He's always earned more than me, I've been f/t, p/t, SAHM, and unemployed. He's been unemployed too in the past but what money we have is 'ours' Neither of us has to ASK if we have enough money to spare for whatever it is we want, but we do DISCUSS things if it is necessary to do so.

miserly_mum

The_Banker wrote: »

Kicks off shoes, lies back and watches the circus.;)

No way......you'd be the Ring Master

sidefx

I don't see how the way a married couple manage their finances is anybodys business but their own. Bears no relation to their commitment to one another in my opinion!

hayley11

Margaret52129 wrote: »

Been married over 30 years - with a joint account from word go. He's always earned more than me, I've been f/t, p/t, SAHM, and unemployed. He's been unemployed too in the past but what money we have is 'ours' Neither of us has to ASK if we have enough money to spare for whatever it is we want, but we do DISCUSS things if it is necessary to do so.

Dear me, nit picking much. :rolleyes:

Well good for you if you don't have to ASK. But he does because he doesn't know how to access the online banking and he hasn't a clue about what bills are due to go out. So he has to ASK and then we would DISCUSS it. Happy?

dizziblonde

What works for one couple won't work for another - you can't judge. I was brought up from an early age to value my independence and keep my own bank account - my father shafted us royally when I was a child when he left, froze all the joint bank accounts and essentially left us to starve until my mum's next payday... it coloured my mother's view on things and she passed it on to me. I also got to the point of having a wonky credit rating and didn't want to mess up those of others.

So yes, at the moment me and my fiance have separate bank accounts - we split the outgoings roughly down the middle (he pays slightly more since he earns more) and we alternate who pays for the weekly shop. The thing is that I only earn during certain months of the year and have to fall back on savings the rest of the year - so during those months he puts some of what he's saved into my account to cover my direct debits etc... when I am working my surplus income pays for house things like new furniture etc (we're at the end of gradually getting a set of furniture that matches together). We both know each other's details - I know what he's got in his accounts, he knows what I've got in mine and when either of us needs it we can move money across easily. There's no distrust there - it was purely and simply a matter of me keeping things separate until I cleaned up my credit rating.

We've talked it through and when we get married next year we'll probably end up getting a joint account in both our names then - especially if we ever do manage to get me pregnant (looking like that's never happening though). We know we can live on one salary - we do it for a few months in the year anyway and he's got a master spreadsheet of what comes out of what account on what date and things anyhow. Just he's adamant his bank are good, I hate his bank with a passion so that's never got resolved, as has the hassle of swapping accounts over and stuff etc etc.

Doesn't make us less committed to each other, we never row about money (may rib each other jokingly but that's about it) and he's incredibly good at budgeting (but he's the sort of guy who can't help seeing a line of figures and mentally adding, averaging and playing with them for hours on end anyway).

My parents by contrast have the system where my mum pays for all the household expenses, her partner pays the mortgage - she then totals up all she's spent over the month and bills him for half of the difference - but they bicker in a good-natured way constantly anyway and he's the sort of guy who requires a 10 hour surgical operation to extract money from his wallet given half the chance

miserly_mum

hayley11 wrote: »

Dear me, nit picking much. :rolleyes:

Well good for you if you don't have to ASK. But he does because he doesn't know how to access the online banking and he hasn't a clue about what bills are due to go out. So he has to ASK and then we would DISCUSS it. Happy?

It depends how you define asking for money really

My OH asks for money too if he needs it for something but it's not in the context of me allowing him to have it or not. I'm his Partner not his Mum

When he asks it's to make sure he's not going to withdraw £50 and next day a cheques going to bounce (or similar) because of insufficient funds.

Before we got together he was paying out a fortune in bank fees every month because of never remembering when DD etc were going out. Now he doesn't have to remember ......that's what i'm here for :rolleyes:

System

i think if i get married i'm going to need to have my own account otherwise we'd be screwed

Margaret52129

hayley11 wrote: »

Dear me, nit picking much. :rolleyes:

Well good for you if you don't have to ASK. But he does because he doesn't know how to access the online banking and he hasn't a clue about what bills are due to go out. So he has to ASK and then we would DISCUSS it. Happy?

Very thank you:D

My OH doesn't even like to spend anything (read that as totally yorkshire miserly skinflint) and also doesn't even remember his pin number for the hole in the wall. He doesn't ASK for anything because he never BUYS anything (but the whoopsies at supermarkets), but if he ever does want to spend a large amount we have to DISCUSS it because he thinks it fair to do so (unless it's my Christmas present )

Margaret

PS and believe it or not - he's an ACCOUNTANT!

miserly_mum

Margaret52129 wrote: »

Very thank you:D

My OH doesn't even like to spend anything (read that as totally yorkshire miserly skinflint) and also doesn't even remember his pin number for the hole in the wall. He doesn't ASK for anything because he never BUYS anything (but the whoopsies at supermarkets), but if he ever does want to spend a large amount we have to DISCUSS it because he thinks it fair to do so (unless it's my Christmas present )

Margaret

PS and believe it or not - he's an ACCOUNTANT!

:rotfl:Margaret your OH sounds like the male version of me

kbleigh

I am not married, but have been with my partrner for just over 5 years. We have recently bought a house together.

My partner earns over £26,000 a year, I earn £14,600. But he insists that everything - bills mortgage etc is split 50/50, even petrol money when we go on a journey together - even if the journey is less than 5 miles, we split the petrol.

As you can probably tell I do not neccessarily agree with this, but when I question it I feel like I am being mean, and not wanting to pay my way. However I completely understand where many of you are coming from as it is a big issue in our relationship, and often makes me question our future together.